30 May 2022

Being Here, I Like That -- Musings on Memorial Day


Memorial Day used to always be on May 30th, regardless of what day it fell on. (It was moved to the last Monday in May in 1970.)  My maternal grandfather’s birthday was May 30th so he would proudly point out that his birthday was a federal holiday.

Today we had veggie dogs, potato salad and baked beans for our Memorial Day meal. Heirloom tomatoes have just come in so my wife sliced some and put olive oil salt and peppers on them and we had those with the veggie dogs. Delicious.

I stepped outside to put some old shrimp fried rice in the compost bin and noted two young ladies at a distance walking down the street talking and laughing. There was something very pleasant about two young friends strolling along on a day when many people are at picnics or barbecues or combinations thereof. It recalled  a July 4th about twenty years ago when the wife and kids were away and I met a friend for dinner at a Chinese restaurant. After dinner we went to a coffee shop and were the only ones there. We enjoyed a nice long chat and it felt good to be away from the usual hurly burly one associates with Independence Day which often includes excess drinking, burgers on the grill and fireworks. We were away from it all in a coffee shop. It’s a pleasant memory.

I’ve had a good day so far. Worked out. Washed towels. Tidied the kitchen prior to preparation of the day’s big meal. Listened to a podcast. Watched a movie. Worked on the novel. Now I’m writing this. Later I’ll ensconce myself in a book and after that watch last night’s episode of Barry, a show the missus and I quite enjoy.

It’ll be early to bed as I’ll be rising at an ungodly hour tomorrow to work on the novel  before heading off to teach my class. The first week went well and I’m anxious to see the progress my two charges make in the coming weeks. 

The downside of my day, as has been the case for much of the last few years, is the news. I’m growing increasingly pessimistic about the future of the United States. Evil, stupid, ignorant forces are at work aided and abetted by the greedy and unscrupulous. It feels at this point that there will never be meaningful gun control legislation, assault rifles will remain accessible to virtually everyone. Voting rights are being squashed, abortion is being banned in more and more states, climate change is not being properly addressed, books are being banned, teachers stifled and a minority of conservatives control the majority’s will. How does one go on believing in positive change in the face of all this? Where does one find the energy for the seemingly futile fight? Why believe anymore? It’s a struggle.

I have to take care of myself (believe me, not an easy job). I have to be at my best for my wife and children, friends, relatives, co-workers and students. I have to enjoy life as much as I can. Find and nurture those things which bring me joy and satisfaction such as writing novel number three. I also can’t dwell on the past and the mistakes I’ve made or wrong turns I’ve taken. And I can’t focus too much on the future when the here and now is to be lived and enjoyed.

Depression nags at me at times and other times it takes over. I’ve got to make the most of the time I have away from it. Savor the good meals, the nice memories, the companionship, creating my art, living my best life and being here. That’s good in itself. Being here. I like that.

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