Lots of Cool Things in One Post Like, What's a Start-up? And Asking People What They Do For a Living and Sunglasses and Walt Whitman

Yours truly wearing new shades, mentioned below.

“He’s working for a start-up.”

“What is it starting up?”

“What do you mean?”

“You said it was a start-up, but not what it's starting up.”

“I don’t know, for sure. I think it’s a non-profit.”

“So he’s got a new job at a new place that isn’t making money.”

“Yup."

“Cool beans.”

I’ve heard this one before. Someone you know of got a new job at a start-up. You’re not told what the person does nor what kind of enterprise is. I find this weird. Supposedly it’s enough to know that it’s a new business.

When I was working at a newspaper in the seventies I was at a gathering at which someone I barely knew and hadn’t seen in awhile asked what I was doing. I said working at a newspaper. He asked, “what outfit?”  That’s the last time I heard the word “outfit” used to describe a place of work. It was odd even then because the person who said it was about my age. The only people still saying “outfit” back then were older people.

Before my time people used to ask, “what line are you in?” This referred to your line of work. Don’t hear it anymore. In movies from the thirties people use the word “racket” which presumably means that people in “real life” used the term back then as well. Usually — at least in films — racket referenced something illegal or shady. But not always.

Of course asking people what they “do for a living” is a common question upon meeting them for the first time. It’s a natural conversation starter. But not in all societies. Some cultures consider it rude to ask a veritable stranger what kind of work they do.

When you do find out what someone does it’s only natural to use that information to start coloring some things in about the individual. A lot of people have lower opinions of those in certain professions. Some people don’t like lawyers, or cops or United States senators. Also, some jobs are more intriguing than others. Meeting an accountant and meeting an actor are two very different things. You generally don’t have a lot of follow-up questions for an accountant. (Maybe if it’s near April, you’ll say, “busy time for you, I guess.”) But you’re bound to ask an actor if they’re in movies, TV or theater. Based on what they say you could have a million more questions. Or not. Depends on what they’ve been in and your level of interest in acting.

As a teacher I always get: “what do you teach?”  When I was teaching middle school I occasionally got questions as to my sanity or was offered sympathy or lauded for my bravery. Inasmuch as I’ve got two novels out I’m going to henceforth say that I’m a writer. I’ll be asked, “what do you write?” Or in some cases, not. I’ll watch as eyes glaze over when I go into great detail about my novels. Fun.

It’s always interesting to note that some people don’t ask follow-up questions. You could say that you’re an astronaut and in reply get, “nice.” Or you could tell someone you lead expeditions in search of rare flora and fauna in New Guinea and receive in response, “interesting.” 

When I was a newspaper reporter a few people — younger ones — actually asked if I got paid for writing. I could never figure that out. No one asks a carpenter if they get paid for building houses or shelves. 

Not to change the subject (which is precisely what I’m doing) but yesterday the missus and I went in search of a new pair sunglasses (for me) at a place called the Sunglass Hut. The store was small so calling it a hut is appropriate. Plus they carry sunglasses so that’s two-for-two. Upon entering we were introduced to the person who would be helping us “today.” I both find it strange and nice that we were immediately on a first name basis with Robert. (Something can be both strange and nice, I looked it up.) He laid down the ground rules for us and then let us free range around the store. He hovered, but not obtrusively. Robert was fastidious, friendly, polite and, like of sales people in your better clothing and accessories stores, gay. (How do I know? Come on!) I’m not going to get into a thing here about how gay men tend to make the best salespeople, they just do. And if someone wants to accuse me of homophobia or stereotyping…well, they say it’s a free country, so have at it. But I’m not going to waver on this one. Facts is facts. I can also say that a higher percentage of lesbians play sports than straight women and know I’m speaking the truth and in no way belittling my gay brothers and sisters. 

I found a suitable pair of aviator-style which the wife said make me look like Joe Biden. I guess I could have done worse. 

The better half then went into a clothing shop and I slipped into a bookstore and accidentally bought a book (happens to me all the time). Then we stopped to get a bite to eat. In truth there were a helluva lot of bites involved. We ate inside an establishment. Last week we dined out, but had our meal under the sun. It’s nice to start gradually getting out more and doing what are called “normal” or “pre-pandemic” activities. It’s also nice to walk outside without a mask on. I like it when things are nice. I prefer when things are fantastic or stupendous or absolutely super, but I’ll settle for things being nice. 

Upon returning home I watched a film. Gotta be true to you.

I will now conclude this blog post by wishing one and all a terrific Walt Whitman’s birthday. That is why today’s a holiday — isn’t it? Or is it because today is Aida Valli’s birthday? Both? Either way suits me.

P.S. If during the last paragraph you said, "who's Aida Valli?" see me after class. If you also asked "who's Walt Whitman?" we're sending you back to the third grade.

P.P.S. It's also Rainer Werner Fassbinder's birthday. Like the previous two, he's "no longer with us" (i.e. dead).

One Year of a Pandemic, Not So Happy Anniversary

One year ago today I taught a class live and in person.

One year ago today I went to the gym.

I have not taught a class live and in person since.

I have not gone to the gym since.

One full year.

Nor have I dined in a restaurant, visited a museum, gone to a sports event, attended a party or traveled out of state.

I have completed and published a novel, finished the first draft of another and began work on a third. I have also written 122 blog posts. This will make it 123.

I have watched somewhere between 350 and 400 films (probably closer to the latter). I've read in the neighborhood of forty to fifty books and parts of a dozen or so others.

I'm proud to say that I've barely watched any more television than I did in the previous non pandemic twelve months.

I've also actually worked out more as I've gone from every other day to six days a week. These workouts are at home and do not include a cardio component other than three sets of jumping jacks and a minute of running in place. I have however -- usually with my darling wife -- taken many a walk.

The aforementioned better half and I have gotten along just fine despite the close quarters and being together very nearly twenty-four/seven. A successful marriage!

We took up Yahtzee! in the early autumn and play almost every day. Not the least bit ashamed to admit it. We've also resumed home delivery of the New York Times so I'm back to doing the crossword puzzle and after nine years have picked up were I left off (though I rarely tackle the Saturday puzzle). I also make a daily visit to Sporcle and if you've never been there I recommend it.

Depression still dogs me. When the pandemic hit the six-month mark it was pretty bad but for the most part it's been as before -- no better, no worse.

I've watched many, many hours of proper football (soccer to you Yanks). Ninety per cent of what I watch is from England's Premier League, the rest is European competition involving national teams or clubs from different countries. I've only watched parts of four American football games, a few innings here and there of baseball and nothing else in the way of sports.

I've continued to follow the news closely and it has been much more pleasant to do so since January 20th. The combination of the past president and pandemic was quite awful. While much of the news is still depressing, there is at least cause for hope that the bright light at the end of the tunnel is not an uncoming train but the end of the pandemic. The president said family gatherings by Independence Day. Meanwhile the plan is to open the school where I teach in June. 

I have been vaccinated. Got the second shot last Saturday. 

So as twelve month periods go it's been a real stinker but I'm proud to say I've made the most of it, especially in terms of my writing. It came at a good time in my life. Had something like this happened when I was a swinging single...well, perish the thought.

Perhaps the worst part of the pandemic has been not being able to see my youngest daughter in all of 2020 (she's in New York). We last said good-bye on December 31, 2019. Seems a century ago. Fortunately we live in an age of instant communication including zoom. Also oldest daughter has been around. If both were out of reach...Again, perish the thought.

The last pandemic approaching this magnitude was just over 100 years ago so one hopes the next one is also 100 years or more away. Then again I've read that we could be visited by such a horror any time. One can't predict. I choose not to contemplate that now.

One year. Good lord. 

I Get Vaccinated and Reminisce About Grandma and Rail About Anti-Science Idiots

The House Where Grandma Lived

I got my first vaccination for Covid-19 today. Actually it wasn’t “for” covid, it was against it. I’m very much anti-coronavirus. Anyway, my upper left arm where I got the shot is a little sore right now but I’d hardly call it pain. I understand that some people feel after effects the next day so maybe I have something to look forward to. Hope not. And by the way, thank you Pfizer. 

Today is the birthdate of my maternal grandmother, Jenny Kurki. She died when I was a teenager back in 1970. My brother and I didn’t go to the closest elementary school when we were kids (Whittier) instead going to Jefferson so that we could walk the half a block from school to Grandma’s house for lunch on school days. About half my lunch everyday went to my grandmother’s golden retriever, Sisu. That’s a name that has much significance to Finns. (Whittier and Jefferson have new names now as does my former junior high, Garfield, such is the march of time.)

My Grandmother spoiled me. She’d make me pancakes in the middle of the day if I asked her to. Sometimes I did. She’d also sit in a lawn chair in her backyard and pitch baseballs to me. I remember once hitting a line drive that conked her in the head. She was momentarily rattled but otherwise unfazed and resumed pitching. I also remember spending the night at her house once and as she talked me into the sofa bed she started tickling me. I kicked my legs out as I giggled with glee and one foot landed solidly in her belly. It took out her breath and for a few seconds I was as scared as I’d ever been thinking that I’d badly injured my grandmother. She was fine though. 

In doing some genealogy research last Summer my wife discovered two things about my grandmother: one was that she was ten years older than her stated age and thus ten years older than my grandfather (who preceded her in death by ten years) and that she gave birth to my mother only a few months after marrying. Wow, grandma. 

Grandma was a big one for going to church. But then again it was a Lutheran church so it wasn’t much of an infringement on anyone else’s life and she never proselytized. I remember she liked to go those epic bible films that were big for a time, like King of Kings.

My wife had it a lot rougher than me as a child. She was born into a Southern Baptist church and couldn’t even go to the movies until she was nearly a teenager. Having parents ram their religion down a child’s throat can mess a kid up. Especially if your parents are the kind who put way more faith in praying than they do in doctor’s or medicine. There are still cases of children dying or being really sick or infecting other children because of their parents’ stubborn belief that the power of prayer supersedes a vaccination or doctor visit.

I guess we’re back to vaccinations now….. I read that a third of Americans are taking a “wait and see” approach to the Covid vaccinations. Waiting and seeing if you die is one approach, I suppose. This all baffles me. When I grew up it seemed everyone had great faith in science and medicine and believed what experts in fields said. Sure we’ve been misled by politicians and foreign policy experts and even some economists, but the hard sciences are pretty reliable. They got us to the moon when I was a kid which people were pretty darn impressed by. Now there are idiots who think the whole moon landing was faked. It seems — and I could be wrong on this because I’m no expert — that more people believe in conspiracy theories today than when I was a kid. The thing is that some conspiracies are real. For example there’s no question in my mind but that John F. Kennedy was killed as a result of a conspiracy and that was probably the case with his younger brother Bobby and maybe even with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. though I don’t know nearly as much about that case.

Cousin to the conspiracy theory is the, “I just bet that what they really did…” or a variations thereof. You hear these all the time. People feel damn sure of themselves as they “just bet” that the real reason something happened, or the real reason for a particular plan is….well, they fill in the blank with whatever pops into their head. Then one of the people who they were talking too, or who reads their comment on social media thinks that what they said makes sense and it spreads. That’s pretty much what QAnon is all about. Makes me wonder which one of these idiots said, “I bethcya the Democrats are all a bunch of pedophiles.” (What it is with the right and pedophilia is beyond me.)

I was looking for something on You Tube once and came across a news story about a supposed Bigfoot sighting in Utah. I watched it and noted that there was little evidence to support the claim that the mythic creature had been found and a scientist of some sort give a likely explanation as to what had been seen. One of the comments below the video was from a kook who said, among other things, “these scientists don’t know what they’re talking about.” Yes, actually they do. Sure, some of them are wrong sometimes, but when it comes to their field of expertise they generally know of what they speak. It’s funny because when a mechanic tells someone what’s wrong with their car, you never hear, “bah, these mechanics don’t know what they’re talking about.” Same with dentists. “My dentist said I had an impacted molar but these dentists don’t know what they’re talking about.”

For some reasons it’s scientists who are just making shit up. 

People don’t have respect for certain professions. I was on a bus to a baseball game once and there were a few teens on the bus acting up. Some old coot said to his wife, “that’s what they teach ‘em in school.” I was a middle school teacher at the time and said, “no, we don’t.” The old geezer just looked away.

Anyway, like I said I got the first shot today. Next one in three weeks. Then I can go out carousing again. Not that I will.

Odds and Ends Such as Oh, God! A Long-Ago Date, Polo, Issues With Netflix, Signs You're Stupid, My Next Novel and Advice for Writers

Bob Denver and George Burns in Oh, God!

Last night I watched Oh, God (1977) C. Reiner, a film I’d not seen since it opened in theaters forty-three years ago. Oh, God! stars George Burns as God in something akin to typecasting, given how beloved the comedian was. His co-star was singer Bob Denver in his film debut. Denver read his lines and hit his marks and was not terrible. However Oh, God! would have greatly benefitted from a professional actor in the lead role, someone who would given the character more depth and played off Burns better. Oh, God! is a rare case of a film that I’d call, "cute." Fun to watch and instantly forgotten after. I certainly remembered nothing about it four decades plus after seeing it.

I do recall — if barely — the person I saw it with. Her name was Erin, she was from Baltimore and it was our first and only date. She was cute, with a nice body, short, dark hair, shy, unassuming and companionable. As I recall we had a perfectly nice evening. I’ve no memory why I didn’t pursue a relationship with her, though I seem to remember regretting at it at some point later. I also don’t even remember seeing her around anymore. She was — for what must have been a very short time — a receptionist at the newspaper I worked at. In any case I met the woman I’m currently married to almost exactly one year after my date with Erin. 

Last weekend I watched a film set in England during World War II. One of the main characters was a boy of about ten who wore his hair much longer than any lad did in those days. Several other male characters wore their hair too long for the 1940s as well. If you go to all the trouble of getting period appropriate costumes and sets, is it really any harder to give cast members an appropriate haircut? 

How often have you heard someone say: “I hate good-byes.” Fair enough. But who doesn’t? After all you never hear anyone say: “by golly I love good-byes.” Never. Saying "I hate good-byes" is akin to saying, "I hate getting sick." 

I was enjoying a film the other day when two characters parted with one saying, “meet for breakfast tomorrow?” The other agreed and they went on their way. Bugged the hell out me. When are they going to meet? Six? Eight? Nine-thirty? Would it really bring the movie to a screeching halt if the conversation had been: “meet me for breakfast tomorrow, say about eight?” 

Do people still play polo? I only ever see it in movies from the thirties and forties. I think it should be introduced to inner city schools as a way of keeping troubled youth off the streets. Get about twenty horses, the necessary equipment and a coach and let ‘em have it. I'm counting on you here, President Biden.

Netflix, we need to talk. First of all about this “continue watching thing” — take a hint. If I stopped watching something over two months ago it’s a pretty safe bet that I’m done. I watched the first few episodes of Space Force and by early August decided it wasn’t for me. Yet it remained under the continue to watch label for months after. Did you think I forgot that I’d started it? Do I seem senile to you? When it comes down to it I could do without the continue watching feature entirely. I know what I’ve been watching and I know what I want to continue to watch and what I don’t. Let it go.

This next one goes out to most streaming services: let me finish watching the closing credits without you butting in trying to get me to watch something else. For crying out loud I just completed a two hour movie and you expect me to — without missing a beat — start in on another one? At the very least a person needs to get up and stretch. Even on days when I watch more than one movie I take at least an hour break between them.

And what the hell is the difference between “trending now” “popular on Netflix” and “top ten in the U.S.A?” And am I really supposed to care about “what’s hot?” Because I don’t. I guess there are a lot of people who want to know what “everyone” else is watching so that they can securely feel like part of the masses. I don’t. I watch what I think I’ll enjoy and whether that’s “trending” “hot” or “popular in my area” is of no consequence to me. 

Signs you’re stupid

Ever wonder if you’re stupid? Ponder no more. If any of the following is true about you, then, my friend, you ain’t too bright:

You chew gum loudly

You wear a cowboy hat

You play loud music from your vehicle while driving through quiet neighborhoods

You wear flip flops on cold and/or rainy days

You say or write “anyways”

You watch NASCAR

You think diet sodas are good for you

You ask people, “working hard or hardly working?”

You vape

Okay so how about signs you’re smart? Seems only fair. Here you go.

Signs you’re smart

You read and enjoy this blog

We're approaching the eleven-month mark in the pandemic and I'm beginning to envy characters in movies and TV shows. Watch as they mingle, go to parties, eat in crowded restaurants, take in a ball game. Thanks goodness one can at least watch normal life on the screen. Being avoided and avoiding people while walking has gotten really old.

My second novel is now available on Kindle. When the paperback is issued I'll have an entire post about it. Should be soon.

Meanwhile I completed a first draft of my third novel and have put that aside as I work on my fourth. I'm anticipating interest from major publishing houses and from movie studios. Also anticipating Rihanna asking me out, so....

I close with some advice for writers:

Plan to write everyday. Setting goals is good, such as writing 1,000 words a day.

Read a lot and read a variety of kinds of writing including non-fiction poetry and journalism.

Don't go overboard reading about writing, you eventually reach a point of diminishing returns.

Be observant. Pay attention to your environment, people and how interactions unfold.

Watching good films and TV shows informs your writing as does appreciating other arts such as music and paintings. Find what inspires you.

Write what you know and what you don't know.

Write long first drafts, keep going until you run out of steam and later edit and reflect.

Know your grammar rules

Have fun.

Visions of Normal Life Dance Tantalizingly in my Mind

Amanda Gorman at the inauguration 

I don't flinch when I my phone pings with a news alert. 

I don't go to Twitter or news sites fearful of what horrible thing has happened now.

When I think about the future of the country I don't sink into despair.

There's hope.

I get an email on inauguration day evening from a cousin in Finland who expressed relief at the swearing in of the new president and offered congratulations to the United States. This reflected the feelings of many around the world and in the U.S. I watched the ceremonies and it felt like the nation had awakened from a nightmare.

I got choked up when Kamala Harris -- the first woman Vice President and the first Vice President of color -- was sworn in. Change is slow but most welcome when it arrives. I loved the poem by that lovely young woman, Amanda Gorman, who has become instantly famous.

Earlier this week drought-stricken Northern California suffered well above average temperatures, dry conditions and fierce winds. Beyond depressing. Today it is cold, we've had scattered showers and it looks as if more is to come. Thank you, President Biden.

In a couple of hours I'll have my annual physical which I do every year and once every twelve months. I had my blood work done last month and if anything was amiss I'd have already heard (one supposes) I've got no terrible aches or pains to report so I'm anticipating a routine visit. My weight is probably a little too much owing to gyms being closed and me not being able to do aerobics. I do work out at home six days a week and take long walks so I'm not morbidly obese. Plus my diet is good. On the other hand there is my emotional state which, given severe depression and occasional anxiety, is far from perfect. But I haven't contemplated jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge and have yet to run down the street naked, waving a meat cleaver, so I'm getting along all right. 

It has come to my attention that I get older everyday. This was of little consequence when I was ten years old or twenty-three of thirty-six or even fifty. But for the last ten years it's something that I think about -- far too much. I've not come up with the a solution to this getting older business nor the fact that it inevitably leads to death. The idea of being no more is a difficult one to comprehend but we all face it. I suppose the key is how we face it. Needless to say living each day we have to the fullest is a highly recommended approach. I am not altogether successful at this. Many days I barely live at all if depression has a firm grip. But even on my worst days I usually manage to watch and enjoy a film, read a bit and take sustenance. Many people are much worse off. We're now heading into the direction of counting one's blessings which should be done right along with living to the fullest.

It is of great comfort to be able to write and not be awful at it. Today I wrote the first draft of a short story and am writing this, of course. For much of the week I've been working on novel number four. I manage to write every weekday and most weekend days as well. Thank the heavens for that.

There's no escaping the fact that coronavirus is still with us and many more will die from it. It's odd to think that much of what the missus and I have done these past ten months has been centered around merely staying alive. Wearing masks, maintaining social distances, avoiding particularly crowded orgies and the like. As a decrepit old man I won't have to wait long to get the vaccine. That'll be still another great relief. Visions of normal life dance tantalizingly in my mind. The new administration in Washington will help facilitate that in countless ways.

Cheers, everybody.

In My First Post of the New Year I Discuss Various Topics Including a Watchword, a Possible Detective Agency, Satan, Books and Future Posts

Nick and Nora Charles with Asta

Positivity. That’s my watchword for 2021. (I here note that I believe this to be my first ever use of the word “watchword.”) A positive approach, a positive attitude and negative test results -- unless where a positive one is preferable. 

It is a new year and boy did we need one. The one just past was a stinker. High hopes and all for the coming twelve months as the bar has been set pretty low. Baring a last-minute coup, we’ll have a new president on the twentieth day of the year and while he is far from perfect, the squirrel currently nibbling in our garden would be an improvement to the man soon departing. The burden of having an imbecile for a president these past four years has been weighty on all of us. Relief at last.

It’s been nine months — and counting — living in a pandemic and the novelty wore off about eight and half months ago. To recount the negatives of pandemic life would be repetitious. But in short the absences of: restaurants, hugs, gyms, stadiums, visiting, teaching, normality. 

in 20121 news... My wife and I are thinking about starting a detective agency. Our main goal would be to solve mysteries. To this end I will buy a trench coat. I thought it would also be a good idea to hire a sexy young female secretary but my wife isn’t so sure. She does agree that we should put up a shingle. Another idea I have is that I could record our adventures — perhaps on this blog — in much the same way Watson chronicled his cases with Sherlock Holmes. Oh yes, we’d have a motto: “If we can’t solve it, it didn’t happen.” I’m sure we’ll get caught up in a lot of international intrigue and end up in exotic locales. It seems a prerequisite for our work will be developing contacts on all police forces and finding confidential informants (CIs) in the seamy underworld. If anyone would like to be an informant or has a case they’d like solved, please let me know in the comments section. Our fees will be reasonable and we guarantee that your case will be solved or no money back.  This great idea was inspired by our recent viewings of several Thin Man movies starring William Powell and Myrna Loy as Nick and Nora Charles. We'd kind of be like them only without all the drinking. (We'll have to find a dog like Asta.)

I was thinking recently (yes, it is a practice I occasionally engage in) about the devil, aka Satan, Beelzebub, Mephistopheles, The Prince of Darkness, Mitch McConnell.  A lot of people all over the world believe that there is a loving god and a polar opposite to him in the form of a devil. Some contend that they are constantly at war with one another for, among other things, the souls of individuals. I have a theory: Satan won. A long time ago. I present as evidence the following (and believe me this is but a partial list): infectious diseases, the Holocaust, wars, torture, murder, corporate greed, racism, sexism, homophobia, sexual violence, the Republican Party, fascism, police brutality, extra judicial killings, militarism, nationalism, gang violence, classism and people who talk during movies. All of these have been part of society within the last 100 years — not to mention the past couple of millennia. You’re telling me a loving god is overseeing all of this? Please. If a god and a prince of darkness had it out at around the dawn of humankind it’s pretty clear who won.

Let me add to that this that I learned something of Christian dogma from being raised in the Lutheran church (spilt when I was fourteen) and from a very brief time in which I flirted with an evangelical church (I was drinking and using at the time). One thing that was emphasized during the latter experience was that Jesus loves you BUT, if you don’t accept him as your lord and savior, you’ll burn in hell for all eternity where there will be weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. Again, this is a loving god. I’d hate to think what a vengeful god would do to those who deigned not to worship him. But everything you need to know about evangelicals can be summed up by the fact that they supported Donald Trump in large numbers. A bigger batch of hypocrites you’d be hard-pressed to find.

On a positive note….(There was a pause as the blogger struggled to find something — anything — positive to write.) Vaccines are here and maybe we can stay ahead of any new strains of the coronavirus. I'd also like to reiterate that a new president takes office in two weeks — again assuming Trumpy is unable to pull off a successful coup — and 2021 simply can’t be as bad as its predecessor.

I’m currently re-reading Doris Kearns Goodwin’s Pulitzer Prize winning book, “No Ordinary Time: Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt: The Home Front in World War II.” I was looking for a book to read that was similar to No Ordinary Time and finally thought, “why not just read the damn book itself.” I originally got it for Christmas in 1995 which means its been 25 years since I read it and — I know this may surprise you — I haven’t remembered every word. In fact, I believe I’m enjoying it more this time as I have such a greater breadth and depth of knowledge about that era and its principal characters than I did back when I was just a young whippersnapper. 

Around this time of year I usually — if I haven’t already — present my top ten films of the year. It may come as a shock to you but we’ve not just emerged from a normal year. I haven’t set foot in a movie theater since last February and finding new releases has been a challenge. It will likely be several months before I’ve caught up with everything. As it is I’m not fully aware of the better films that were released last year nor where to find them. I may put out a preliminary list soon and a final one in the Spring. (God, I miss normality.)

So that was my first post of 2021. I hope everyone who happened upon it (Seamus Mohammed of Secaucus, New Jersey) enjoyed the read. I don’t know if I’ll be as prolific this year as last, but the quality will — I promise — remain….I’m going to go with "high."

What Fresh Hell is This -- Agonizing Through The Election

I've run out of Pepto-Bismol. As I write this the election still hasn't been called. It's been about sixty hours since the last polls closed. It looks promising though and it could be sometime later this morning that we get official word from Pennsylvania. A win there would put Biden over the top. Also any two of Georgia, Arizona and Nevada would do it and Biden leads in all three of those states. But the wait has been agonizing, excruciating and nerve-wrecking.

The notion of another four years of Trumpy sickens the soul. It would have been intolerable to have that man dominating our news and culture for an extra week, let alone four years. I've come to realize in the last few weeks how draining it has been to deal with this farce of a human being and his constant lies, exaggerations, mocking of his office, incivility, incompetence and narcissism. 

Election night was a crushing blow because I'd spent the last few years looking forward to the day he was thrashed at the polls Herbert Hoover-style. I'd become convinced of a Biden landslide and a thorough repudiation of Trumpy's mangling of the executive branch. I was -- as the Brits would say -- gutted that Ohio and Florida went to Trump and disappointed that Texas and Iowa joined them. It was also shocking to see how close the race was in other states such as Michigan, Wisconsin and those yet to be determined.

Are Americans really that stupid? Are there really that many racists in this country? Have millions of America really been taken in by this shyster or have they not paid any attention at all to what's been coming out of his mouth? 

The question has often been posited as to whether you have to be a racist to support Trumpy. I used to reject that notion outright but have reluctantly come to embrace it in the last year. It's impossible to hear the words that come out of the great bloviator's mouth and not understand that he is a bigot and therefore in endorsing him you are endorsing bigotry. Is the United States really -- to lightly paraphrase Hilary Clinton's infamous line -- so full of deplorables?

Evidently.

Starting with Election Day I've been even more of a mess than usual. The simple act of reading has been challenging. Watching a film has been no simple matter. Writing has proved a challenge. Prone to anxiety and depression as I am the closeness of the election -- even with the promising trends of the last few days -- has taxed my already delicate emotional state. I've been a seething cauldron of disquiet, apprehension, uneasiness, dread, disquiet and borderline panic. 

It's been difficult to manage going half an hour without checking the latest news on The New York Times, The Washington Post, BBC, CNN and Twitter. Wife and oldest daughter check constantly too and we're often updating one another. This is no way to live.

I've never felt more directly impacted by an election. If Trumpy were to retain office, one consequence would be that the coronavirus would rage on with no end in sight. Covid-19 is difficult enough to handle with leaders who take it seriously, with a buffoon who dismisses it (despite all the deaths it continues to cause) the consequences are most dire indeed.

I here took a break to check the latest updates and after pulling ahead in Pennsylvania overnight, Biden is now adding to that lead and this whole deal might be wrapped up soon. Of course Trumpy is indicting he won't concede. This is no surprise because he is the least gracious man in America. Biden's people have apparently pointed out that Trumpy refusing to concede is not a problem, "because we know how to deal with trespassers in the White House." 

I do not believe that a Biden presidency is going to cure all this country's ills. But it is absolutely critical in giving us a chance at curing some. No progress is possible under Trumpy and indeed further regression is guaranteed. Many of us simply want to be able to hope again and not be burdened by having to follow the actions of lunatic who is occupying the highest office in the land. What a depressing state of affairs these past four years have been in the United States. What a mockery it has made of those claims that this is the "greatest country in the world." 

The missus and I are now going to go for a walk. Later in the day we're going to the pharmacy where I'll refill my prescriptions. Oh, and buy more Pepto-Bismol.

2020, What Fresh Hells It Continues to Bring

Dorothy Parker, she must have seen 2020 coming

What fresh hell can this be? -- Dorothy Parker.

It is a question that sums up 2020 rather nicely. It has been especially true here in the San Francisco Bay Area at various times such as today when we have an awful combination of well above average heat and poor air quality stemming from wildfires. On days like today we can't go for walks and windows have to be closed to limit exposure to dirty, ashy, sometimes smelly air. It is as very close to hell as many of us have known, particularly when combined with suffering through a pandemic. 

Further compounding this depressing state of affairs is the state of the country. One hardly knows what to make of Trumpy testing positive for Covid-19 (guess it wasn't a hoax after all, eh prez?). As one person put it, it isn't karma, it's science. This happened two days after Trumpy disgraced the nation (what? again?) with his -- even-horrible-for-his-standards -- debate performance. I only saw highlights (lowlights?) and he came off like the angriest, most obnoxious drunk you've ever seen. As is his custom he spewed lies and added a double dosage of venom and combined that with extraordinary rudeness and lack of decorum. You can't make a guy like this up.

The tales of corruption coming out of the Trump family are never ending as is more evidence of callousness and vitriol. The level of bigotry would make John C. Calhoun blush. Trumpy could not even be arsed to condemn white supremacy. Hell, even notorious bigots like Nixon and Reagan would have pretended to oppose clown shows like The Proud Boys, a Neo Nazi group of wanna-be thugs who are a solid part of Trumpy's base.

It's been debilitating to much of America to live through the nearly four years of the Trumpy freak show. The incivility, the prevarications, the disregard for the environment, the demonization of immigrants, people of color and anyone who doesn't kowtow to the administration. It's all the worse because the Trumpy sickness has been enabled by the Republican Party which is as good an example as you'll find of greed, spinelessness and disregard for the general welfare. (If I had to/could punch anyone in the world it would be Moscow Mitch himself the turtle from Kentucky -- what a grade A asshole). The bastards are going to put a woman on the Supreme Court who Cotton Mather would have found too extreme.

Added to all this is Trumpy's supporters. He has many and they are fiercely loyal (imagine the mentality...). It's gotten to be impossible not to conclude that all these people are bigots and equally difficult to imagine that they have any conception of what a functioning democracy should look like. They are all either saps and suckers or the scoundrels who benefit from his tax and deregulation policies and care nothing for the hot polloi. 

Of course there's hope. The general election is just 32 days away and in addition to giving Trumpy a right proper thumping, there exists the strong possibility that the Democrats will take over the Senate. But even there we have a horrible feeling of hopelessness and despair for Trumpy and his partners in crime (and I mean crime literally) are working overtime to suppress the vote in advance and challenge it in the aftermath. Trumpy even wants thugs at polling stations to do god knows what -- it won't be good. Election Day and its aftermath might not end up being a statement of the people's will and perhaps won't lead to a peaceful transition of power but instead be a chaotic mess that will threaten the very foundations of democracy in the United States. There could be riots and killing and many, many lawsuits. I believe the appropriate word for what may follow the vote is, shitstorm.

So there's that to "look forward to."

On the bright side? Well I'm sure there's something. I'm far too depressed today to think of anything. There is a part of me that believes that it is always darkest before the dawn and things can only get better but those notions are having a hard time being heard among the din of hell that is 2020. Fortunately there are more and more people carrying the fight, determined to rid the country of Trumpiness and from their make social justice and equality realties. There are also entertainers. I'm particularly grateful to those who make me laugh. We all need good yuks in the best of times, now we are positively desperate for them. To name but a few, thank you Daniel Levy, Seth Myers, Chris Rock, George Wallace, Blaire Erskine, Sarah Cooper, Seth Rogen, Chelsea Handler, Trevor Noah, John Cleese, Ricky Gervais, John Oliver, Lewis Black and my good friends at Lonely Island. Also, happy Groucho Marx's 130th birthday. We could use a man like him today.

I close with something only tangentially related. It is an excerpt from an article that appeared in Commonweal Magazine last February and was written by a gent named David Bentley Hart. I think it a perfect expression of this country and how it is -- even in the best of times.

Americans are, of course, the most thoroughly and passively indoctrinated people on earth. They know next to nothing as a rule about their own history, or the histories of other nations, or the histories of the various social movements that have risen and fallen in the past, and they certainly know little or nothing of the complexities and contradictions comprised within words like “socialism” and “capitalism.” Chiefly, what they have been trained not to know or even suspect is that, in many ways, they enjoy far fewer freedoms, and suffer under a more intrusive centralized state, than do the citizens of countries with more vigorous social-democratic institutions. This is at once the most comic and most tragic aspect of the excitable alarm that talk of social democracy or democratic socialism can elicit on these shores. An enormous number of Americans have been persuaded to believe that they are freer in the abstract than, say, Germans or Danes precisely because they possess far fewer freedoms in the concrete. They are far more vulnerable to medical and financial crisis, far more likely to receive inadequate health coverage, far more prone to irreparable insolvency, far more unprotected against predatory creditors, far more subject to income inequality, and so forth, while effectively paying more in tax (when one figures in federal, state, local, and sales taxes, and then compounds those by all the expenditures that in this country, as almost nowhere else, their taxes do not cover). One might think that a people who once rebelled against the mightiest empire on earth on the principle of no taxation without representation would not meekly accept taxation without adequate government services. But we accept what we have become used to, I suppose. Even so, one has to ask, what state apparatus in the “free” world could be more powerful and tyrannical than the one that taxes its citizens while providing no substantial civic benefits in return, solely in order to enrich a piratically overinflated military-industrial complex and to ease the tax burdens of the immensely wealthy?

The Apocalypse May Take a Turn For the Worse -- But I Celebrate 33 Years Sober

Photo by author taken in Berkeley a few days ago at noon.

It's not only bad, but it could get worse.

Covid-19 is alive and well, and the fear is that in the coming months, it could combine with the flu to cause a Twindemic. So the virus we do not have under control could join forces with the regular flu season to wreak even more havoc.

Wild fires are raging through Washington, Oregon and here in California, costing lives, destroying property, burning forests, devastating wildlife, and causing unhealthy air quality. This is the fifth day in a row that we've had to keep windows closed because of the bad air. We're not yet into the teeth of fire season, so this might only be a preview.

Trump and company continue to defile the country in ways previously thought unimaginable, and it's still not impossible for him to win re-election. If he doesn't, he may not acknowledge defeat, and his supporters may take up arms.

I've always understood that it is darkest before the dawn, but exactly how dark can it get?

My emotional state can't handle much more of what life has been doling out to everyone these days (today marks six months since I last stood before a classroom), and I am not alone in this respect. It's difficult to imagine carrying on if things do indeed worsen. I'm sure I will — albeit under great stress — but surely others who are not blessed — as I am — with family, good physical health, and sufficient funds, will have a much more difficult time.

As I mentioned, it's been six months since I last taught live and in person. It is also another anniversary. Today marks 33 years that I've been clean and sober.

Miracles.

I woke up on September 13, 1987, and realized I was an addict and alcoholic. This thought had never occurred to me before. Virtually everyone — especially psychiatrists — have been skeptical about my claim. Surely there had been clues, someone had planted the idea in my head. But I know with every fiber of my being that I passed out the night before convinced I was a social drinker. I knew what an alcoholic looked like — I'd drank with them — and I did not fit the profile.

I can't explain why I woke up that Sunday morning with such clarity about the disease I had and don't attempt to.

It was fortuitous timing. My wife had made up her mind the previous night to end our short marriage. When I woke up, found her sleeping on the sofa and told her, "I have a problem," she decided to give me a second chance. Then, less than two weeks later, she found out she was pregnant.

I'm a lucky man. Sobriety allowed me to help raise my oldest daughter and to sire and raise another daughter. Both are grown women today and are wonderful people succeeding at life. Oh yes, I'm still married to the same perfect wife.

Like I said, I'm a lucky man.

While I've struggled mightily with depression and anxiety, I have found some activities that help combat the blues. One is immersing myself in a good book. Right now, I'm reading a novel that is destined to be among my all-time favorites — The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt.

Of course, watching a great film is an effective and fun distraction as can be a favorite TV show. Exercise helps a lot as do long walks (when air quality permits).

I close now by saying how much I miss people. I long for shopping in a crowded grocery store. I can't wait to be among a throng of fans at a sports events. I yearn for the sights, sounds, and — dare I say it — smells of the gym. I'm a misanthrope who's missing being irritated by other humans.

Gray skies are gonna clear up, put on a happy face….(unless the gray skies get downright black and refuse to clear).

A Morning Stroll Includes an Unanticipated Stop at a Store

I took this photo today of two of my fellow shoppers.

Went for a walk this morning and found myself near a Target so popped in to buy a few things — been craving Cool Ranch Doritos recently, don’t know why.

It brought back old times to be in a store again. Shelves were full of items, there were people walking about and I have a bank account sizable enough to support a bit of shopping on a whim. Nice.

Last week I went to one of my two favorite Berkeley book stores (hello Pegasus downtown.) That was exhilarating. Rows and rows of books. Browsing. A discovery. A purchase. A satisfied walk home. Very nice.

Anyhoo (as they say at MIT) I found a few items and shuffled over to the check out area. I was at the end of a medium length queue. Given how long it's been since I've had to stand in line, I wasn’t at all bothered by having to wait. Well, not at first. Then I was made quite aware of the downside of public spaces and the presence of my fellow human beings who are not relations or of close acquaintance. First there was the sight of an obese woman checking out who had procured three six-packs of 16 oz. Diet Cokes. It’s akin, really, to seeing an obviously intoxicated person buying bottles of scotch. We see the cause of the problem and that it's not getting better anytime soon. Wasn’t for me to worry about however. There were self checkout “stations” but I eschew them believing they lead to fewer jobs for people who are most in need of employment. One gent in line was not so averse and he asked if he could “squeeze past” me. God, I hate this. There was — never is — any “squeezing” going on. Cousin to this phrase is “can I sneak past you?” No of course you can’t because you just announced that you’re trying to get past me so you won’t be "sneaking" at all. Let's all agree on, "excuse me" from now on.

Back to queueing…..I was soon reminded of one aspect of being in public spaces that I’ve come to hate the most — and goodness me I’ve written about this a million times here before — people yakking on their cell phones. Yes, a seemingly pleasant woman got in line behind me chattering away saying that she was now “into drinking cocoanut water.” I’ll never accustom myself to people blathering on phones while in close proximity of others.

The line moved quickly until a 200 year-old-woman got to the checkout stand. Bless her heart for being so self-sufficient. However…She dutifully waited until her purchase had been rung up before bothering to get her wallet out of her purse. A purse, mind you, that was the size of a 1956 Buick. This took awhile as evidently her wallet was buried beneath debris from the demolition of a high rise. Once the wallet was found it took an inordinate time for her to pull the required bills out of it. She closely inspected several before deciding which to offer the clerk. When her change and receipt were presented Mrs. Methuselah required our further patience as she painstakingly put everything where it belonged. At last she was ready to mosey along and free the checkout stand for the next customer.

The last person before me was dispatched post haste and yours truly had the great thrill of saying yes I needed a bag, then sticking my card into the machine, rejecting the kind offer of cash back, then entering my pin. Approved, the machine told me. Like I said, I'm not utterly destitute. I was on my way.

When I entered the store there was an employee at the door who — I presume accidentally — good morning’d me twice. Rather than point out the superfluous good morning I had responded in kind both times. She made up for it by not good byeing me at all as I exited.

I very much enjoyed my walk. After an overly long heat spell here (one day is overly long for me) we are now ensconced in fog. There is — as so often in these trying times — a however to accompany this news. The many fires raging around the area continue to send smoke our way making breathing hazardous to one’s health. The air was clean enough -- according to the Air Quality Index -- when I left the house but by the time I returned home it was as though one were at a campfire. Glad I got some time in the great outdoors.

Thus concludes the dramatic tale of my morning walk that included an unplanned trip to a store. Am now the proud owner of a bag of Dorito's Cool Ranch chips. Huzzah!

Life Gets Worse, Elections Are Coming, Animals Including Killer Crocs, Bowdlerize Explained and Breaking Up With Colbert -- All of This in One Post

Fires and resultant smoke ravage California.

All we need now is a cataclysmic earthquake. Due to a couple of trillion fires raging throughout California, many of which are in and around the Bay Area, the air quality here is so bad that walking outside is akin to inhaling from an active chimney. Thus, as above normal temperatures continue, we are stuck indoors with windows closed. Honestly, I thought it was bad enough that we were in the midst of a pandemic. Now I'm not so much nostalgic for the time before the lockdown (seems eons have passed) but for the halcyon days a week ago when we could still take our mask sand venture outside without filling our lungs with soot. In short, it's getting worse before it gets better. Or, it's getting really, really dark before what better be a glorious dawn? To get any worse than this would require an earthquake and we've been longer overdue. Hopefully we'll catch a break.

About the only reason for optimism these days is that Trump is lagging well behind in the polls and there's a good chance Democrats can re-capture the senate. This is almost completely offset by the fact that the pure evil that is Trump and his minions are already trying to sabotage the election. Of course they may not recognize the outcome of the election. We could be in for an awful shitstorm the likes of which this country hasn't seen since the Civil War, in the days, perhaps weeks and maybe even months after the November election. One cannot assume that Trump will accept defeat and go gentle into that good night. We may be looking at riots possibly involving both sides. Of course if Trump manages to cheat his way to victory or otherwise hold office beyond January 20, he will continue to dismantle our democracy and there's no telling how long it would take to undo the damage. Decades perhaps.

One has to feel optimistic that by being smart and organized we can assure a fair election and that Biden can win and that this nightmare will be behind us. We can't let gloom settle in when there are battles to be fought and we have numerical superiority.

Partying in Wuhan, China.

I'm finding it a little harder to be optimistic about this stupid goddamned virus. With idiots all over America refusing to wear masks and not respecting social distancing guidelines, it's hard to imagine how we're going to get Covid-19 under control. Recently in Wuhan, from which the virus supposedly emanated, there was a huge pool party and concert. The fact of this gathering is testimony to the effectiveness of the stringent measures taken. Imagine if Americans had that kind of resolve.

Meanwhile the squirrel outside our window is enjoying a feast and seems oblivious to the dire circumstances affecting this area in particular and the world in general. Birds too are about. Some are on the bird feeder and one land-based feathered friend is joining the squirrel for some cross-species dining. Lucky buggers, not a care in the world -- well, except for predators. As humans we don't have to concern ourselves too much with attacks from large animals -- other than from other people. I like the safety from human-eating animals that urban areas provide. I can't imagine living in a place where one had to be weary of crocodiles. It is estimated that approximately 1,000 people a year are killed by crocodiles. Honestly they need a better press agent. Meanwhile last year sharks could only manage 64 attacks and two kills. Yet anytime a shark so much is comes near a human it's all over the media. But how often do you read about a croc killing a person? It happens about three times a day. As I understand it, sharks do no actively hunt humans, usually mistaking them for seals when they do attack. However crocodiles do indeed seek human meat. Chilling. Yet we're supposed to be afraid of sharks? In reading accounts of crocodiles killing people there are a number of times when one can't help but exclaim -- you idiot, what the hell were you thinking. For example this one: "On September 14, 2017, 24-year-old Financial Times journalist Paul McClean was reported killed by a crocodile near Arugam Bay in Sri Lanka. McClean stopped by a lagoon known as Crocodile Rock to wash his hands when a crocodile bit him and dragged him into the water. The lagoon is known for its large population of crocodiles." You would think a journalist would have more sense than to wash his hands in crocodile-infested water. Besides, how clean are your hands going to get in such water? Fucking moron. Also imagine the horror of seeing someone being hauled into the water by a crocodile. Especially a loved one.

Now I'd like share something from the good folks at Merriam-Webster that I found interesting. Maybe you'll find it interesting too: Few editors have achieved the notoriety of Thomas Bowdler. He was trained as a physician, but when illness prevented him from practicing medicine, he turned to warning Europeans about unsanitary conditions at French watering places. Bowdler then carried his quest for purification to literature, and in 1818 he published his Family Shakspeare [sic], a work in which he promised that "those words and expressions are omitted which cannot with propriety be read aloud in a family." The sanitized volume was popular with the public of the day, but literary critics denounced his modifications of the words of the Bard. Bowdler applied his literary eraser broadly, and within 11 years of his death in 1825 the word bowdlerize was being used to refer to expurgating books or other texts.

Seth Meyers.

I close with news of a break up that occurred last month. After nearly five years together my wife and I broke up with Late Show host Stephen Colbert who we'd been faithfully watching since he took over David Letterman (Dave was the best) in September 2015. It's become increasingly difficult to enjoy Colbert's show as his massive ego keeps getting in the way. Stephen's favorite topic is Stephen, even when he's got an interesting guest on. Tom Hanks was on the show one night and Colbert spent 80% of one segment talking about himself. Since he's been recording the show at home he loves to drag his wife on the show and talk to one of his kids off camera. As a one off it can be endearing but as a regular feature it's just showing off. And my does Colbert love to show off, whether by rattling off the names of his many siblings or the titles of sci-fi books he loves or trivia about Lord of the Rings. Colbert really angered me the night he took on Martin Scorsese's likening Marvel Comics films to amusement parks. Stephen didn't have the balls to say the great director's name instead saying "some people have said...." I've long been sick of hearing him geek out over movies made for 12-year-olds. When I think of Colbert now I see him grinning from ear to ear. No one wants to see that, not during a pandemic. Humor we want but this constant happy face and the never ending references to his drinking -- which includes him actually drinking -- are tedious. If the drinking stuff is a gag it's no longer funny and if it's not a gag then you need to get to an AA meeting. The wife and I have replaced Colbert with Seth Meyers and are much much happier. I highly recommend Seth. He is funny, clever a good interviewer and able to keep his ego in check.