It is the Long-Awaited Return of Headlines!

Happy Pride Month Everybody!

It's been awhile (February '22) since I offered headline's from the day's news with my wise, snarky and pithy comments following. It used to be a regular feature on this blog but for the past few years there hasn't been much in the way of news so....Anyway it's back, at least for today. Enjoy!

From the New York Times:

Supreme Court Expands Trump’s Power Over Immigration

In other words xenophobia and hatred are to be codified into law. As a student of U.S. history I can tell you that this is nothing new. See, for but one example, the Chinese Exclusion Act. Is there a country that owes more to immigrants? Doubt it. But few countries vilify immigrants as much.

More Temperature Records Fall as Deadly Heat Stifles Europe

It used to be to that you could go to England in the summer and not worry about heat. No more. The temperature has hit 100 degrees in London. France has been baking. What’s at the root of it all? Don’t tell Trumpy this, but according to scientists (those weird-ohs) it’s human-made climate change.

California Will Vote on a Billionaire Tax. Billionaires Aren’t Happy

Guess what, billionaires? You’re outnumbered. And ya know what else billionaires? Fuck you. You’ve got more money than ten people would ever need and you’ve got the gall (unmitigated gall at that) to whine about a bigger tax bite? No sympathy for you, ya greedy bastards.

From CNN:

Texas is poised to require millions of students to study Bible stories

While you’re at it, Texas, why not require students to read about unicorns, Bigfoot and Star Wars? If you’re going to use fantasy stories in schools, don’t limit them to Christian ones. Of course this means that Americans (at least in places like Texas) are going to get even dumber. 

Why Seattle’s Pride match has caused outrage for the two teams playing in it

As part of Pride Month and the hosting of some World Cup matches in Seattle the contest between Iran and Egypt has been designated the pride match. Rainbow flags everywhere. The two participants aren’t happy about this because they’re fundamentalist Islamic states — in other words, raging homophobes. Don’t like it Egypt and Iran? Go the fuck home. Some of us embrace our LGBTQ brothers and sisters. Sorry you’re still back in the dark ages. (But its our culture, it's our religion. Then fuck your culture and your religion.)

From the BBC:

Could a Madison Square Garden wedding be the love story of Taylor Swift's wildest dreams?

Honestly. I don’t care. I know the woman has gazillion fans and that one of my daughters is one of them, but why would people obsess over a celebrity’s wedding? Obsess over a new album? Sure. But nuptials? Come on.

Why has Trump stayed away from the World Cup?

So he does’t have to endure more booing? Because like most Americans he doesn’t really like soccer? Because the damn president should be tending to other matters? 

From the Guardian:

Alarm over ‘extreme’ sentences for anti-ICE protesters convicted of terrorism

Harsh sentencing is a hallmark of repressive regimes, especially against dissent. This is another clear sign — like we needed one — that the U.S. is slipping into authoritarianism. 

Why did Tucker Carlson and Marjorie Taylor Greene leave the Republican party?

Better question: why aren’t more people leaving the Republican Party? 

From MSNBC:

FEMA official known for Waffle House teleportation claims steps down from role

Dude’s name is Gregg Phillips (what’s with the three ‘gs” in Greg?). Here’s a line from the article: “he claimed, more than once, that he was involuntarily teleported, including an incident in which he said he was sent to a Waffle House restaurant 50 miles away. In response to questions about his alleged experiences, the FEMA official continued to insist on the validity of his claims.” Trumpy, in his infinite wisdom, had appointed this election-denying nutcase as  head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency’s Office of Response and Recovery. Folks, you can’t make this stuff up. I dare you to try,

Stephen Miller memo exposes plan to punish Americans with disabilities

You’ve always thought Stephen Miller was an evil bastard. Turns out you had no idea. Miller is behind a DOJ memo that lets states institutionalize Americans with disabilities instead of funding the community care that allows them to remain home—undoing decades of reform and precedent. Again, you can’t make this stuff up and again, I dare you to try.

War, Trousseau Models, Celebrity Trials, Gabardine Suits and More in this Look Back to 80 Years Ago Today

Have you been wondering what was going on 80 years ago today? Neither have I. But let’s have a look anyway. I’ve taken a peak at a newspaper (the San Francisco Examiner) from January 18, 1943 (thank you newspapers.com). I’m here providing a few headlines from that day as well as ads and the like. I’m also providing my own commentary to help provide context. Enjoy.

New RAF Raid Rips Berlin, City Afire!

This was the top  front page headline. The RAF is Great Britain’s Royal Air Force, which by then was regularly pummeling Germany’s capital (I’m assuming that you recall that 1943 was in the middle of a spot of bother later called World War II). Another headline below — Hitler Planes Bomb London in Retaliation — shows that it was a two-way street in those awful days. Other war-related headlines of the day include stories about Germans losing ground in North Africa and the USSR. Also five Japanese ships were battered off New Britain, an island off Papua New Guinea. Another front page story was about Chile’s plans to break diplomatic ties with the Axis (Germany, Italy and Japan) aka the bad guys. That would leave Argentina as the only South American country maintaining cordial ties with the evil empires. Indeed many Nazi war criminals fled there in the immediate aftermath of the German surrender in May, 1945.

Yank Bombers Batter Jap Burma Convoy

This is one of three articles on page two that refers to “Japs” there are more on other pages. Today that term would be considered racist. One can argue it was merely used as shorthand but it came loaded with bigoted connotations perhaps best symbolized by the caricatures of the day with the bucktoothed, bespectacled Japanese soldier. This was at a time that Japanese-Americans, many born in the U.S. virtually all without criminal records, were being held in interment camps. Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley recently averred that the U.S. has never been a racist country. She’s an idiot.

Noted Trousseau Model a Bride

Readers were informed that Miss Virginia Parker “who for years has been considered Chicago’s best model of trousseau gowns” is heading west on her honeymoon. The lucky groom was one Malcolm Ross Byron. If you share my confusion about trousseaus, here’s what the good folks at Merriam-Webster have to say: "the clothes, household linen, and other belongings collected by a bride for her marriage." I googled Virginia Parker trousseau model and — this is weird — found a different woman by that name who on at least one occasion modeled a trousseau in 1961. Any Virginia Parkers out there who don’t model trousseaus?

Housewife Given Tips on Bread Slicing Art

The headline suggest that an individual woman was being given tips but the article is about official government advice on how to slice your homemade bread. Due to wartime rationing, people were encouraged to bake their own bread (and as the article points out, bake their own beans, not get them out of a can). Indeed sliced bread was no longer available. There were many such deprivations in the U.S. during the war. Relative to what many Europeans were dealing with these were minor inconveniences. By the way, housewives were told not to “bear down on your knife — use a gentle sawing motion.”

Seeks Entry of Mexican Women

There’s an attention-getting headline. What, pray tell could this be about? Well, folks it seems that Inter-American Forum of San Francisco was promoting legislation that would permit Mexican, Central and South American women to enter the U.S. temporarily for work as nursemaids and domestics. There was a “critical shortage” of women to fill these positions while “large numbers of women from Latin countries are available.” Imagine a time when Americans were welcoming our southern neighbors.

Ad for Avenue Royal Gaberdine Suits (“quality and price unchanged”) for $41.75 exclusively at Pawson & Co. located at Kearny and Sutter. The suits were advertised as “100% pure virgin wool” with “beautiful shades” of blue, brown and tan.

There were three letters-to-the-editor. One writer quoted a letter from his son who was in the military. He was bitching about people back home who had the gall to strike or even just complain for better pay or reasonable hours while soldiers are making huge sacrifices up to and including the supreme one. A second letter whined about the government — “those horse and buggy politicians in Washington” — encouraging people to drive less and use public transportation to save rubber. The writer claimed that there was plenty of rubber just sitting around all over the country and that on top of that Russia had plenty that they could send us (???). I could make neither heads nor tails of the other letter after several readings. It began: "we have no way of computing the material value of this country and its physical efforts." It gets more confusing from there but the Examiner printed it just the same. 

Errol Flynn Trial Jurors Face Grilling

The famous actor was facing two charges of statutory rape in a Los Angeles courtroom. The jurors were accused of gaining their seats on the jury through deception. It was alleged that one was “out to get” Flynn while the other wanted to see him acquitted the evidence be damned. The jurors would face serious questioning. It has been alleged that Flynn engaged in sex with underage females for decades. This was the only occasion in which he was brought to trial. Flynn was found innocent though his reputation was tarnished. The swashbuckling star also had a reputation of hard drinking, drug use and womanizing. The ultimate cad. Sadly this trial went on to be more of an attack on the two teenaged accusers than Flynn. Not unusual in those pre #metoo times.

Howard Hughes Will Premier ‘The Outlaw’ at Geary Theater

The Outlaw starred Jane Russell and her breasts. Now hold on, I’m being serious here. Hughes designed a bra specifically to emphasize Ms. Russell’s cleavage. Not surprisingly this was evident to all and the source of  controversy. The Outlaw was actually finished two years earlier but Hughes had a deuce of a time getting approved from the reprobates at the Hollywood Production Code office. Hughes reluctantly removed about thirty seconds worth of the film that were particularly revealing. Still the studio didn’t want to release the film. According to Wikipedia: “Facing the loss of millions of dollars, Hughes sought to create a public outcry for his film to be banned. Hughes had his managers call ministers, women's clubs and housewives, informing them about the purportedly lewd film soon to be released. This caused the public protests and calls to ban the film for which Hughes had hoped in order to establish a demand for the film's release.” But the film was finally released at the Geary in San Francisco as noted in the headline. There is much more to the story of The Outlaw and it’s checkered history including more cuts, bans, releases, huge crowds, ownership changes. Maybe worth a blog post of its own.

Tomato Juice Refreshing For Lunch

This piece was written by Prudence Penny — pseudonym alert. It suggested that in addition to a “hearty sandwich” and vegetables a good boxed lunch should include tomato juice. “It quenches thirst and is a pick up.” But there’s more: it “helps keep bones and teeth strong, puts a shine in your hair, a gleam in your eye, bounce and cheerfulness in your disposition.” But what did it do for your sex drive, Prudence?

From the Classified Ads. Under Household Help Wanted. “Woman, White, Part Time…….” 

“Girl, Refined, White to assist care of 1 1/2 yr. Child….”

“Housework, part time, white preferred.”

In 1943 it was okay to specify that you wanted to hire a white person. Though I saw no such ads on this day, I’ve also seen ads from those days specifying that the employer wanted to hire a “colored” maid or cook. Also women seeking domestic positions would often specify that they were white or "colored." Also there were one helluva lot more people — middle class, mind you — who had live-in maids.

A large ad for Camel Cigarettes featuring “Red” Hulse who’s identified as a “veteran navy fighter pilot and test pilot of the Navy’s new Curtiss Dive Bomber.” According to Red, “there’s just one cigarette for me — Camel — they suit my throat and taste to a T.” Camel advertised itself as “First in the Service.” I should think that it was also pretty high up there in causing lung cancer.

It Happened During My Freshman Year of High School, 1967-68

Monday September 4. Governor George Romney of Michigan who was considering a run for the Republican Party nomination for the presidency in 1968, appeared on  a Detroit TV Show where during an interview, he explained why he had changed from supporting to opposing U.S. involvement in the Vietnam War. He said that when he along with other American politicians were provided a tour of South Vietnam in 1965, "I just had the greatest brainwashing that anybody can get when you go over to Vietnam, not only by the generals, but also by the diplomatic corps.”

Sunday September 10. The CBS television network censored that evening’s The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, by removing a performance by Pete Seeger's of his antiwar song "Waist Deep in the Big Muddy.” CBS objected to the closing verse, "Now every time I read the papers/That old feelin' comes on/We're waist deep in the Big Muddy/And the big fool says to push on." CBS executives considered the words as clearly meant to insult President Johnson.

Friday September 29. At a speech San Antonio, Texas, President Johnson said that he was “ready to talk tomorrow with Ho Chi Minh and other chiefs of state" to discuss an ending to the Vietnam War, but added that an immediate halt to bombing would happen only if he believed it would "lead promptly to productive discussion,”and that "It is by Hanoi's choice— not ours, not the world's— that war continues." He justified continued American presence by saying: "I cannot tell you— with certainty— that a southeast Asia dominated by communist power would bring a third world war closer to terrible reality, but all that we have learned in this tragic century strongly suggests that it would be so. As the President of the United States, I am not prepared to gamble on the chance that it is not so... I am convinced that by seeing this struggle through now, in Vietnam, we are reducing the chances of a larger war— perhaps a nuclear war.”

Thursday October 12. U.S. Secretary of State Dean Rusk said during a news conference that, because of North Vietnam's opposition, proposals by the U.S. Congress for peace initiatives are futile. 

Wednesday October 18. Students at the University of Wisconsin–Madison protested over recruitment by Dow Chemical on the University campus; 76 were injured in the resulting protest.

Saturday October 21. Approximately 70,000 Vietnam War protesters marched in Washington, D.C. and rallied at the Lincoln Memorial; in a successive march that day, 50,000 people marched to the Pentagon, where Allen Ginsberg, Abbie Hoffman, and Jerry Rubin symbolically chant to "levitate" the building and "exorcise the evil within.”

Tuesday November 21. United States General William Westmoreland told news reporters: "I am absolutely certain that whereas in 1965 the enemy was winning, today he is certainly losing.”

Monday November 27. The Beatles released Magical Mystery Tour in the U.S. as a full album. The songs added to the original six songs on the double EP included "All You Need Is Love", "Penny Lane", "Strawberry Fields Forever", "Baby, You're a Rich Man" and "Hello, Goodbye.”

Saturday December 9. Jim Morrison, the lead singer for The Doors, was arrested on stage in New Haven, Connecticut during a benefit concert for the New Haven College scholarship fund. Police charged Morrison with an "indecent and immoral exhibition" in the form of an angry speech that he gave to the crowd of 2,000 after interrupting a song; Morrison said that a policeman had fired pepper spray in the singer's eyes during an argument in the offstage dressing room. Morrison was released after posting a $1,500 bond.

Thursday January 11. Police and anti-war protestors clashed outside the Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco where Secretary of State Dean Rusk was giving an address in which he said: “this country is committed to free speech and free assembly. We would lose a great deal if these were comprised.”

Tuesday January 30. The Tet Offensive begins, as Viet Cong forces launch a series of surprise attacks across South Vietnam.

Thursday February 1. A Viet Cong officer named Nguyễn Văn Lém is executed by Nguyễn Ngọc Loan, a South Vietnamese National Police Chief. The event is photographed by Eddie Adams. The photo makes headlines around the world.

Tuesday March 12. U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson barely edges out antiwar candidate Eugene McCarthy in the New Hampshire Democratic primary, a vote which highlights the deep divisions in the country, and the party, over Vietnam.

Saturday March 16. U.S. Senator Robert F. Kennedy enters the race for the Democratic Party presidential nomination.

Tuesday March 19. Students at Howard University in Washington, D.C., signal a new era of militant student activism on college campuses in the U.S. Students stage rallies, protests and a five-day sit-in, laying siege to the administration building, shutting down the university in protest over its ROTC program and the Vietnam War, and demanding a more Afrocentric curriculum.

Thursday April 4. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. is shot dead at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, Tennessee. Riots erupt in major American cities, lasting for several days afterwards.

Saturday April 6. A shootout between Black Panthers and police in Oakland, California, results in several arrests and deaths, including 17-year-old Panther Bobby Hutton.

Tuesday April 23. Students protesting the Vietnam War at Columbia University in New York City take over administration buildings and shut down the university.

Sunday May 5. North Vietnam launches its May Offensive with the Viet Cong, initiating a second phase of January's Tet Offensive, attacking  119 targets throughout South Vietnam, including the capital, Saigon.

Monday May 13. An advance team for the Poor People's March on Washington begins erecting prefabricated buildings to create "Resurrection City" as temporary housing for the marchers to stay in for five weeks. Governmental permission had been obtained for the occupation of fifteen acres at West Potomac Park near the Lincoln Memorial. The organizers had obtained a permit from the National Park Service to remain for thirty-seven days.

Wednesday June 5. U.S. presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy is shot at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles. Sirhan Sirhan is arrested.

Thursday June 6. Robert Kennedy dies from his injuries after being shot the previous day, he was 42. 

Headlines From the Past, a Look at Some of What Was in the News this Week, from the Thirties Through the Seventies

(Headlines were culled from the San Francisco Examiner courtesy of Newspapers. com.)

Thursday December 14, 1933

THOSE CONVICTED UNDER VOLSTEAD ACT MAY GO FREE Prohibition (aka the Volstead Act) had been repealed one week prior which made a large swath of the population very happy and led to the freeing of many who’d been thrown in the hoosegow for selling booze. Sanity at last.

GEORGE RAFT REGISTERS IRE AND PUNCHES SCREEN CHIEF The extremely mediocre actor George Raft objected to a line of dialogue in a picture refusing to say it. An associate producer named Benny Glazer told him, “you’ll say it and you’ll like it.” Sounds like some cheap patter from a bad gangster film. Raft played Mr. Tough Guy (a real life role he fancied for himself but never lived up to) and slugged the AP. They later kissed and made up. Among the witnesses were co-stars Carole Lombard and Wesley Ruggles.

EVERYTHING IN GREY SWEATERS FROM $1.95 to $8.50 This was an ad for Moore, evidently a men’s clothing store, with three locations, two in San Francisco and one in Oakland. According to the ad: "Naturally he prefers grey. It’s the season’s smartest…." For that $8.50 you could get “Sportsmen’s finest pure alpaca coat sweater.” Yowza!

December 15, 1938

WIDESPREAD SPY PLOT LAID TO AMERICAN BUND; HUGE WAR TIME SABOTAGE SCHEME CHARGED

This sounds like something out of my novel, Threat of Night. It was a warning that spies were setting up a “potential sabotage machine” designed to impact the Unites States’ industrial and military efficiency in time of war. It was isussed by the House Committee on un-American Activities, which made a bigger name for itself hunting for communists (and ruining lives) during the Red Scare. Nazi spies did indeed operate in various parts of the U.S. principally on the two coasts, and many were subsequently arrested.

AMERICAN LEAGUE OKEHS (SIC) NIGHT BALL

The American League finally acceded to the coming trend of night baseball. The senior circuit (as the National League was often called) had started playing night games in 1935. The Cleveland Indians were granted permission to host the first night game. As anyone with the slightest interest in Major League Baseball will tell you, the vast majority of games are now played under the lights. It was only in 1971 that World Series games were first played under the stars.

December 16, 1941

MAIN HAWAIIAN FLEET IN TACT, CHASES JAPS

Astute readers will note that this headline appeared nine days after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor and eight days after the U.S. declaration of war. The article stated that according to Navy Secretary Knox (first name not given, but I happen to know that it was Frank) the U.S. lost six warships of December 7th and that 2,897 sailors and soldiers were killed. But Knox further stated that the Japanese had “failed utterly” to total knock out U.S. “armed might” in the Pacific. In other words: it’s on now, baby!

KEY TO LENINGRAD RECAPTURED; NAZIS CONTINUE RETREAT

Hitler and the Germans had already begun the long, slow process of losing the war. Just as the Japanese had failed to deliver a knockout blow, the Nazis had needed to win the war against the Soviet Union quickly. They came close. But as we’ve all learned close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

Radio Highlights that Tuesday evening included "Fibber McGee and Molly", The Glenn Miller Orchestra, Sports with Ernie Smith, "Amos ’n Andy", "The Shadow,"" Battle of the Sexes" (a game show pitting male and female contests answering trivia questions), "Burns and Allen" (who later had a long, successful run on television) and music and and news galore.

December 14, 1944

ROOSEVELT PLANS CHRISTMAS TALK

It was announced that President Roosevelt would make his annual holiday chat on Christmas Eve at 2:15 Pacific War Time. It would be carried by all major networks. From whence the address would come was not revealed. The previous year he had spoken from his Hyde Park home. FDR would die four months later.

December 17, 1951

DEATH TAKES A HOLIDAY ALONG ENTIRE KOREA FRONT

No Americans deaths were reported for a twenty-four period ending the previous day in the Korean War — that is, “police action.” It is notable, I suppose, that the absence of death was newsworthy. U.S. troops had been fighting and dying in Korea since the summer. The fighting would continue for another three years. However, the U.S. would return to battle in Asia a few years later for a much longer time in Vietnam.

STILL ALOOF

So read the bold-faced caption under a photo of the great Swedish-born actress, Greta Garbo seen in sunglasses and holding her jacket collar over part of her face. The picture was taken in New York after a flight from Paris. Garbo reportedly told newsmen: “Please leave me alone, I’m not in pictures anymore.” The notorious recluse had retired from movies ten years prior and never again appeared on the silver screen.

December 16, 1958

EARNING $5,000 A YEAR? YOU’RE JUST AVERAGE

According to this story “a $5,000 annual income once marked the successful man.” But “now it is the average family income in the United States." The census bureau had issued a report stating that two-fifths of the country’s families  had incomes between $5,000 and $10,000 a year.

WAR WARNING BY REICH REDS IN BERLIN CRISIS; THREAT TO ATTACK IF ANY BLOCKADE RUNNING

It was one of the hottest times of the Cold War (or should that be coldest times of the Cold War?). Tensions between East and West Germany, particularly in Berlin, were running high. The possibility of war loomed and as another article in that day’s paper stated. “A Single Shot Could Start War.” It would be decades before tensions would ease with the tearing down of the Berlin Wall and the dissolution of East Germany in 1989.

December 15, 1967

2 BOYS ON LSD TRIP BY MISTAKE

The father of the two lads was a twenty-nine-year-old associate professor who was subsequently charged with possession of a hallucinatory drug. The lads were five and ten years old. Mom had mistaken the LSD for fluoride tablets which the boys regularly took by doctor’s prescription. Way to go mom. The boys had “no lasting effects” although that’s debatable. It must have freaked them the hell out. Unknowingly dropping acid can have serious, though not necessarily long-lasting effects on the victim. At one point during the trip one of the boys told his father that he couldn’t sleep because, “I see colored pictures” (I bet he did). Pop asked if they were good or bad pictures. “They’re good pictures,” the five-year-old replied. Dad concluded that he was having a good trip. Well, thank goodness for that.

HOW TO TRANSFORM YOUR KIDS INTO HIPPIES

(Talk about eye-catching headlines….) According to a University of Southern California psychologist if you want a hippie in the house, “keep telling your child there’s a Santa Claus.” He explained that the worst thing parents can do is delude their young ‘uns about a “jolly fat man with a bagful of gifts.” Not only is Santa “a fraud’ (!!!) But allowing youngsters to believe in him can “cause the kind of emotional conflicts that will make hippies out of them.” It’s better, he claims, to tell them the truth so that kids will learn to trust their parents. The psychologist’s name was Chaytor D. Mason and I can only conclude that he was one of the biggest idiots on the planet. I googled him and discovered that he trod this earth from 1922-1996. I also discovered that he was frequently quoted in newspaper articles, purportedly as an expert on various topics. Yeah, right.

BOMBING OF HANOI GOES ON

“Waves of American planes hit Hanoi’s suburbs today with high-explosive, fragmentation and delayed action bombs.” In other words death and destruction rained from the skies via the United States air force. This was roughly in the middle of the U.S. war in Vietnam. The peace movement was well underway and opposition to the war was starting to build. Many in the U.S. would have been horrified by this and so many other stories like it, but others would have cheered the merciless killers on. 

December 18, 1972

NIXON LIFTS BOMB CURB; HANOI REPORTS ‘DEVASTATING’ RAID ON NORTH

And five years later.... President Nixon personally ordered the resumption of bombing two days after it was announced that peace talks were at an impasse. These bombing were far more unpopular than those previously mentioned. While Nixon enjoyed widespread support and had just been re-elected by a wide margin, the war and bombings like these had become much more controversial. If it was as if people were objecting to the wanton killing.

ODD BOYCOTT OF SAFEWAY

Safeway Stores Inc. faced a nationwide boycott inspired by the United Farmworkers. Safeway was guilty of selling non-Union picked lettuce and supporting legislation that would have stripped farmworkers of the right to strike. The odd nature of the boycott stemmed from the use of “human billboards” standing at freeway entrances with signs reading: farmworkers say thank you, NO on Safeway.”

TONIGHT’S BEST BETS ON TV

That evenings television fare included Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In, the wildly popular, oft hilarious (for its times) comedy show; a special called "Alcatraz, Island of Hate," the story of the notorious former federal prison; the world premier of a film called "The Snoop Sisters" starring Helen Hayes; and "The New Bill Cosby Show,' which that night had a Christmas theme. Cosby was already one of America’s most beloved entertainers as he would continue to be into the 21st century. Then there were revelations.

World's Oldest Person Dies, But What a Life

Kane Tanaka

The world’s oldest person died last week, Kane Tanaka of Japan  had reached the ripe old age of 119. She was born on January 2, 1903, ten months before the Wright brothers first manned flight and a few months before construction began on the Panama Canal and six months before the first modern Olympic Games were held. She was born in the same year as Joan Crawford, Johnny Weismuller, Count Basie, Glenn Miller, Pretty Boy Floyd, Robert Oppenheimer, and Dr. Seuess, all of whom pre-deceased her by at least thirty-eight years. The year she was born Adolph Hitler was a teenager, Franklin Roosevelt was twenty-one. Zelda Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Marlene Dietrich, Ernest Hemingway and Humphrey Bogart were toddlers. Women did not have the vote. Theodore Roosevelt was in his first term as United States president. 

Ms. Tanaka was nine years old when the Titanic hit an iceberg. She was eleven when World War I started. During her teens that war ended and there was a revolution in Russia. Not only was Babe Ruth still playing when she was a teen, he was still a pitcher and played for the Boston Red Sox. Also during her teens King Tut’s tomb was discovered, prohibition went into effect in the U.S., the NFL and ACLU were founded, Charlie Chaplin’s first feature, The Kid, was released, Sacco and Vanzetti were found guilty, radio broadcasts began.

When young, Ms. Tanaka could have conversed with American Civil War veterans who were still only in their seventies and Native American survivors of the Battle of Little Big Horn (aka Custer’s Last Stand) who were in their sixties.

She was twenty-three when Queen Elizabeth II was born — plenty old enough to be her mother. In fact she was old enough to have given birth to Betty Friedan, Rodney Dangerfield, Mickey Rooney, Ray Bradbury, Charlie Parker, Judy Garland, Betty White, Anne Frank and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 

If she’d been a U.S. citizen she could have voted for Calvin Coolidge in the 1924 presidential election — or his Democratic opponent, John Davis. Then again she could have voted for Progressive Party candidate Robert La Follette — I would have.

If her memory was in tact in her last days, she would have remembered the Roaring Twenties, the publication of The Great Gatsby, the Great Depression and the Reichstag Fire. 

By the time World War II ended she was already forty-two. When she turned sixty-five and became a senior citizen, Martin Luther King Jr. and Bobby Kennedy were still alive, the war in Vietnam was still raging and the Watergate scandal was still over four years away. (She was already seventy-one when Nixon resigned as a consequence of that scandal.)

Ms. Tanaka turned 100 before the U.S. invasion of Iraq and five years before Barack Obama was elected president.

This remarkable woman was around for a lot of human history, from the first flight, to the moon landing from the birth of the Model T, to the electric car. The entire existence of the USSR was within her lifetime, including the fourteen years before it came into being and the thirty years since its dissolution. Within her lifetime there was Russia's war with Japan and their invasion of the Ukraine with two World Wars in between as well as numerous civil wars, violent revolutions and "police actions." Virtually the entire history of the cinema has been within her lifetime, as well as all of television's history and the coming of the World Wide Web.

Ms. Tanaka is officially the second oldest person ever, trailing only Jeanne Calment who lived to the age of 122 -- from 1875 to 1997. I intend to give them both a run for their money.

Republicans are Idiots, Conservatives are Morons and the Right Has no Moral Compass -- I Respond to Tweets -- From Twitter

Ketanji Brown Jackson about to join the Supreme Court

A regular and beloved feature of this blog is my monthly look at headlines wherein I offer comments on the day's news. Today, for the second time, I'm instead commenting on tweets from -- as you could probably guess -- Twitter. Below you will find actual tweets from and my responses to them. Enjoy!

History suggests Republicans have a midterm advantage – but they could blow it: columnist.

One can only hope.

Too many of our pilots, flight attendants and crew members are dealing with unacceptable abuse from passengers — everything from kicking to spitting to biting. This behavior is inappropriate and puts other crew and passengers at risk.

City bus drivers don’t have to put up with this kind of crap. Me thinks a lot of folks need to be banned from flying. What all this says about the course of civilization is frightening. 

Do you track your reading throughout the year?

No, should I? This year I’ve started tracking the films I’ve watched. Should I add books I’ve read? 

Rep. Paul Gosar is being promoted as a 'featured guest' at an upcoming white nationalist event scheduled on Hitler's birthday.

And this is a representative in the U.S Congress? In the 21st century? My lord. It is at once unsurprising and terrifying.

Spain criminalizes harassment and intimidation of women having abortions 

Esto es progreso. Bravo España.

Both the juice and the peel of lemons or limes could help lower blood pressure. Squeeze some in your water before and after you go for a walk.

Thankfully my blood pressure is fine.

Republicans will do the wrong thing today.

Yes, yes they will.

Woman excused from Cruz jury after saying ‘sugar daddy’ needed her.

Wait…what?

The US is at risk of running out of money to fight Covid. The immediate effects—the end of free boosters, care for the uninsured, etc.—will be plenty. It'll also significantly hinder our ability to protect ourselves from future outbreaks.

Yet billionaires don’t pay taxes. This country….

Devin Nunes claims Trump's Truth Social app has turned Twitter into a 'ghost town’

How do conservatives say these things with a straight face?

Everyday Buddhist: Followers of the way: You can't know your mind as long as you deceive yourself. 

The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves.

Alabama lawmakers are using the last day of their legislative session to consider a bill that would criminalize medically-necessary care for trans youth. Gender-affirming care is life-saving care.

I often think that Lincoln should have let the southern states secede. 

NLRB reported recently that filings for union representation filings are up a whopping 57% this fiscal year. A lot of workers about to go get unions.

So there’s actual good news in the world?

No Charges Filed In Amir Locke 'No Knock' Police Shooting

Of course not, we live in a police state.

DOJ appears ready to launch a probe into Trump for bringing classified documents to Mar-a-Lago: report.

Can this please be the one that leads to prison time for Trumpy?

In a congressional hearing discussing banning members of Congress from trading and owning stocks, Rep Loudermilk argues against new rules by saying we have laws against murder, but people still get murdered.

He’s right, why bother with laws at all? 

Senate poised to vote to confirm Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson to the Supreme Court today, paving the way for Jackson to become the first Black woman in history to sit on the nation's highest court.

Yaaay!!!

Tennessee Republicans are pushing a proposal to create a new type of marriage with no age restrictions that would be available only to heterosexual couples.

There is no bottom. These are people without a moral compass. 

I’m bored with Elon Musk. I’m bored with Jeff Bezos. I’m bored with Mark Zuckerberg. I’m bored hearing nonstop about a few lucky billionaires, who invented nothing, freed no one, and saved no lives, being treated as superhuman celebrities. They’re just rich dudes. Yawn.

You and me both, buddy.

Machine Gun Kelly goes undercover and finds out what people really think of him.

That he’s an egomaniac?

Large studies have found that people who consume the most anthocyanins (largely from berries) reduced their risk of high blood pressure and heart attacks, compared to those consuming the lowest amounts. 

I guess that means my diet is berry good. 

(Always end on a high note.)

No News is Good News a lot of News is Generally Bad, The Return of Headlines

Ana de Armas has a new film coming to Hulu

In the summer of 2020 I started printing headlines from various news sources and writing comments about them that were either pithy, snarky, wise or brilliantly on point (or a combination thereof). The response was so overwhelming (thank you, Humphrey Puddleduck of  Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin) that I made this is a monthly feature -- to enthusiastic acclaim. However I didn't get around to either December or January editions of this critically-acclaimed feature. The letters, texts, emails, telegrams and smoke signals came pouring in as a result. But heedless of your requests, we are resuming this beloved (reviled?) feature. Enjoy the February 2022 edition -- like it or not.

From CNN:

Americans less likely to have sex, partner up and get married than ever

Partner Up? Really, CNN? This is NOT acceptable. Another abuse of the word "up" in a phrasal verb. It joins "coach up" "link up" and "meet up" as linguistically blasphemous. I've railed about "partner up" before, indeed, quite recently, but to see it in the title to a story on a "respected" news source's website is too much. Enough with the "up." It makes me want to "throw up."

A billionaire CEO is on track to go further into space than any human in 50 years

If billionaires have enough money to joy ride into space than they have too much money and we need to start taxing these motherfuckers at a much higher rate. And for the love of god, let's start eliminating the jillions of loopholes in the tax code that these greedy bastards benefit from.

Florida's 'don't say gay' bill is cruel and dangerous

That's for sure. Ya know you get used to the idea of forward progress, situations that have started to improve continuing to improve, then some bullshit like this comes along. From the article I give you this quote: "As leaders in two LGBTQ organizations, we've been astonished to witness the progress we have made over the last decade. But it's also clear that our community's increased visibility has led to a backlash. There are currently more than 100 anti-LGBTQ bills -- the majority of which target transgender and nonbinary youth -- moving through state legislatures across the country." Fucking Florida.

'We're not asking for magical things': Anti-gun violence groups launch campaign to pressure Biden four years after Parkland

Sad to say that if we couldn't get any gun control legislation passed in the wake of Sandy Hook in which two dozen small children were murdered then it ain't happening. I hope I'm proved wrong some day.

From the New York Times:

Pedestrian Deaths Spike in U.S. as Reckless Driving Surges

Oh look everyone! More bad news. A pandemic, possible war in Ukraine, anti-voting legislation not enough for you? Not enough of a resurgence of book banning, racism and homophobia? Fine then, we'll throw in an increase in reckless drivers killing pedestrians. When it rains....

How Bad Is the Western Drought? Worst in 12 Centuries, Study Finds

Still not enough bad news for you? For those of us in the western United States we've got a drought of biblical proportions. We've had less than a half an inch of rain in the past six weeks and a quick check of the calendar indicates that this is Winter. When it doesn't rain it doesn't pour....

Wanda Sykes, Amy Schumer and Regina Hall to Host the Oscars

I'm sure there'll be fine but why they haven't asked Steve Martin to do it every year is a mystery to me. Given that I no longer watch the Oscars I don't really understand why I care.

Pastor Resigns After Incorrectly Performing Thousands of Baptisms

Excuse me, but it's a meaningless ceremony so being one word off doesn't mean diddly shit. But you do you, Catholics.

From the BBC:

Mexico violence: Gunmen attack wake, then target funeral

Monsters. They killed nine people who were mourning. The depths society has reached is immeasurable. 

Bionic eye tech aims to help blind people see

It's still in early stages but early results are promising. In other words what we have here is that great rarity: good news.

Why people still believe in the 'soulmate myth'

Ahem. I'm enjoying Valentine's Day with a woman who is my wife, soulmate and love of my life. Over forty-three years since we met and I knew within a week that she was "the one." It's no myth, you lousy cynics. 

From the Washington Post:

Judge to dismiss Sarah Palin’s libel case against New York Times

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Go back to being irrelevant, Sarah.

The 5 best Super Bowl commercials

They're fucking commercials. Why the hell do we celebrate them? Talk about skewed priorities. You'll have to excuse my hatred of commercials but it's real and deep. I'm ever so thankful for the DVR function that allows one to record and fast forward through commercials. I got around the commercials during the Super Bowl as I always do, by not watching the game. Works every time.

Cook Islands confirms first coronavirus case — two years into pandemic

Geez Cook Islands, try keeping up, willya? 

From Vanity Fair:

‘Deep Water’ Teaser Trailer: Ben Affleck, Ana de Armas’ Erotic Thriller Debuts on Hulu in March

I hope it's good. At least it gave me an excuse to use a photo of Miss de Armas in this post.

In a Variation on the Headlines Feature, I Offer Responses to Tweets

Garments and axe of an executioner. 

A regular and beloved feature of this blog is my monthly look at headlines wherein I offer comments on the day's news. Today I'm attempting a new twist on this idea by commenting on tweets from -- as you could probably guess -- Twitter. Below you will find actual tweets and my responses to them. Who knows, this could supplant headlines or become a feature in addition to them. Enjoy!

Florida Man Named Kyle Rittenhouse Arrested on Child Porn Charges, Admitted to 'Sending Images of His Penis' to Young Girls 

There's another Kyle Rittenhouse? And he's one of those idiots who thinks it's a good idea to send dick pics? And to young girls? To any prospective parents out there whose last name is Rittenhouse, don't name your boy Kyle.

So what comes after abortion? Are they banning contraceptives? Outlawing interracial marriage? Repealing gay marriage?

Please don't give them any ideas.

Boebert’s home paper apologises for her and calls her an embarrassment

Embarrassment? I'd go with disgrace.

A strange rock with a sinister reputation lurks within the crimson waters of this Scottish glen.

Sounds like the start of a novel.

I've never heard a good argument for the kind of easy access to guns we have in the US. Maybe because there isn't one.

You're right, there isn't.

Word of the day is ‘apanthropy’ (18th century): the desire to be away from other people and to be left alone.

I often experience apanthorpy.

Australian intelligence officials put out a secret report 40 years ago sounding the alarm on climate change. They were worried about the harm it would cause...to the coal industry.

Yes, let's all worry about the poor coal industry, fuck the planet.

If we simply required gun owners to carry liability insurance, the insurance industry would destroy the gun industry

Great idea!

Group of men filmed spitting at bus full of Jewish people on Oxford Street

Beat them with menorahs.

Gun shop owner charged with involuntary manslaughter after shooting employee in the face during prank gone wrong

If your prank involves a loaded gun, maybe re-think it.

Tucson, AZ Police officer Ryan Remington shoots and murders a 61-year-old man in a motorized wheelchair from behind. Shoots him at point blank range. This is yet again beyond the pale. How Do You Reform This?

The cop was fired. He should be thrown in the slammer.

Man dressed as ninja and armed with sword attacks two policewomen in France

I know that it supposedly takes all kinds, but this is ridiculous.

Life continues post birth.  Why is "sanctity of life" crowd silent on the latest school shooting or for that matter all gun violence?  Or, children who are homeless?  Or children who are hungry?  Or children who are abused?  Asking for a sperm & egg before they decide to meet.

Good questions. Hell will freeze over before we get a decent response.

Robe and Axe of Giovanni Battista Bugatti, who was the official executioner for the Papal States from 1796 to 1864. Over the 68 years he worked as official executioner, Bugatti carried out a total of 514 executions.

He worked for 68 years? Didn't they have a retirement plan for executioners?

Woman accused of pointing gun at 6-month-old baby in viral video is arrested

I suppose the NRA would argue that the baby should have been armed.

School in India manages to detain leopard in a classroom after it mauls a student

I dealt with a lot of difficult (I'm sorry, "challenging") students during my career, but no leopards. 

Speaker Pelosi rips into Republicans for considering a government shutdown over vaccine mandates, asks how they'll possibly explain it to the public because it's "so silly that we have people are anti-science, anti-vaccination."

Republicans used to be the loyal opposition, now they're a bunch of whack jobs.

Note that if abortion becomes illegal in the US, rich people will still be able to travel elsewhere to get it done safely, poor women will be dying in alleyways yet again

Yup.

Fox host who compared Fauci to Nazi doctor Mengele blocks Auschwitz Memorial on Twitter

These people are stupid, they spread misinformation, distort the truth and are often anti-semitic.

We can either have: Voting rights, reproductive health, climate justice, a living wage, affordable healthcare, billionaires pay their fair share in taxes, free public college, paid time off, CJ reform, immigration reform, & a functioning democracy. OR The Jim Crow filibuster.

Let's go with the first option.

TikToker gets her man a gift engraved with the names of girls he cheated with

As with all gifts, it's the thought that counts.