09 May 2022

Impersonal Friends, If Your Being Dishonest, Pretty Incredible and Sensible Tragedies -- It's Time for More on Words and Language


Yesterday I heard someone refer to another person as “a personal friend of mine.” Personal friends are the best. Impersonal friends I can do without. I suppose people have friends within their profession, but isn't she or he still a friend to you "personally?" I should think so. 

Today I heard someone say, “I’m going to be honest with you.” That’s refreshing but then we are left to assume that the speaker normally lies. I’ve also heard some people say, “if I’m being honest….”  So many questions. What if you’re being dishonest? Why is this stated as a hypothetical? Are we left to guess as to the veracity of what you normally say?

I’ve also heard people preface a sentence with “honestly, I think that…” Again, why the “honestly?” Is this to differentiate from all the times you lie?

Another use of “personal” I sometimes hear is on public transportation when an announcement at the end of the journey suggests that people look around for their “personal belongings.” Screw the belongings that are associated with work, you can leave those behind, but your “personal” belongings, those that have meaning to you, they’re what you should look out for. And what if your toting around something for a friend? Shouldn't you check for that too?

I remember when in school a teacher saying that he’d had “just about enough” of someone’s nonsense. I took that to mean that he could handle a bit more nonsense. After all, he did not say, “I’ve had enough” only "just about."

Again I heard someone say that they “couldn’t find the words” to express how they felt about someone. Look harder. There are lots of words. Surely you can find a few to slap together that will express how you feel. That's what words are there for. Then again you often hear people say that they are "speechless" then they go ahead and speak. Make up your mind.

Since I’m writing again about words and language allow me to remind everyone that “a lot” is two words. Can't be stressed enough.

When you sign off an email with “best” what do you mean? Best wishes? Best regards? Or something else entirely, such as “I best be going?” Using only “best” is lazy and I do not approve. I also do not approve of “yours.” Stick a “truly” at the end of that or even a sincerely. Speaking of “sincerely” is it used to assure the recipient that you were sincere in everything you wrote? If so they might as well start the email with “If I’m being honest with you.” If I’m replying to an email I tend to follow the leader. If the sender went with warm regards I’ll give them the same. However if I’ve started the correspondence then the onus is on me. With friends I’ll use “your friend” or “cheers” or “warm regards.” If I don’t know the best person well or at all I generally stick with “warm regards” or “best wishes.” I like “all the best” too and will use it with friends and strangers alike. I’ve occasionally gone with “love” if for some reason I’m writing to one of my daughters or nieces or nephews. I don’t tend to email the wife as we share a home but if I did I'd definitely go with "love." 

I once again heard about a “senseless tragedy.” Still waiting to hear something described as a “sensible tragedy.” In the same vein you often read about a “needless loss a life.” Is there ever a “needed loss of life?"

I’ve often written to people who are under stress or in a bind that “I’m sending good vibes your way.” People seem to like that. The truth is that I have no idea how to send vibes, good or bad. But it is a clear case of the thought being what counts. I never send "thoughts and prayers" because I don't pray. I suppose I could send "thoughts" but that's a little weird.

I saw a tweet today in which the tweeter referred to something as “kind of incredible.” I’m against virtually all uses of “kind of.” It’s especially egregious when placed in front of a powerful word like “incredible.” Something should be either — in a person’s mind — incredible or not, no need to quality it or diminish it. Another example of this I see a lot is “pretty amazing.” I can accept “pretty good” which I take to mean something was okay but not one hundred per cent satisfactory but, like “incredible,” something is either “amazing” or it isn’t. While we’re at it let’s curtail the use of “sort of” by about ninety-nine per cent. It’s usually used in speech and it is — not sort of, not kind of, not pretty — annoying and useless. “Sort of” belongs in the bin with, “ya know” or most uses of “ya know what I mean?” (If I don’t know what you mean, I’ll bloody well tell you.)

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