From Duck Soup (1933) in which Groucho played Rufus T. Firefly (Continued from yesterday.)
Calling all nations. Calling all nations. This is Rufus T. This is Rufus T. Firefly coming to you through the courtesy of the enemy. We're in a mess folks, we're in a mess. Rush to Freedonia! Three men and one woman are trapped in a building! Send help at once! If you can't send help, send two more women!
It's too late. I've already paid a month's rent on the battlefield.
I wonder whatever became of me? I should have been back here a long time ago.
Nobody calls a Firefly an upstart!
Listen, Gottlieb, nix on the love making. Because, I saw Mrs. Claypool first. Of course, her mother really saw her first; but, there's no point in bringing the Civil War into this.
Of course, that's why I'm sitting here with you. Because you remind me of you. Your eyes, your throat, your lips! Everything about you reminds me of you. Except you.
You're willing to pay him a thousand dollars a night just for singing? Why, you can get a phonograph record of Minnie the Moocher for 75 cents. And for a buck and a quarter, you can get Minnie.
I have here an accident policy that will absolutely protect you no matter what happens. If you lose a leg, we'll help you look for it.
Signor Lassparri comes from a very famous family. His mother was a well-known bass singer. His father was the first man to stuff spaghetti with bicarbonate of soda, thus causing and curing indigestion at the same time.
From A Day at the Races (1937) in which Groucho played Hugo Z. Hackenbush.
If I hold you any closer, I'll be in back of you!
Hey, don't drink that poison! That's $4.00 an ounce!
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Will you have the bellhop hop up with some hop scotch.
From Room Service (1938) in which Groucho played Gordon Miller.
My advice to you is to stay where you are. Most actors would be tickled to death to get as close to a lamb chop as you, and I do mean ewe.
I bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork.
I know, you have forgotten. Those June nights on the Riviera, where we sat 'neath the shimmering skies! Moonlight bathing in the Mediterranean! We were young, gay, reckless! The night I drank champagne from your slipper - two quarts. It would have held more, but you were wearing inner soles! Oh, Hildegarde!
Operator, operator! Get me the steamship Normandy. Where is it? It's in the water.
From Go West (1940) in which Groucho played S. Quentin Quale.
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
Time wounds all heels.
I give you my solemn word as an embezzler, I'll be back in ten minutes.
You must fan the flames of love with the bellows of indifference.
From The Big Store (1941) in which Groucho played Wolf J. Flywheel.
You mean a woman of your culture and money and beauty and money and wealth and money would, would marry that imposter?
From now on the essence of this hotel will be speed. If a customer askes you for a three-minute egg, give it to him in two minutes. If he askes you for a two-minute egg, give it to him in one minute. If he askes you for a one-minute egg, give him the chicken and let him work it out for himself!
From Love Happy (1949) in which Groucho played Sam Grunion.
I am the same Sam Grunion who solved the international uranium-mining swindle. Scotland Yard was baffled; the FBI was baffled. They sent for me and the case was solved immediately: I confessed.
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