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| Bob Denver and George Burns in Oh, God! |
Last night I watched Oh, God (1977) C. Reiner, a film I’d not seen since it opened in theaters forty-three years ago. Oh, God! stars George Burns as God in something akin to typecasting, given how beloved the comedian was. His co-star was singer Bob Denver in his film debut. Denver read his lines and hit his marks and was not terrible. However Oh, God! would have greatly benefitted from a professional actor in the lead role, someone who would given the character more depth and played off Burns better. Oh, God! is a rare case of a film that I’d call, "cute." Fun to watch and instantly forgotten after. I certainly remembered nothing about it four decades plus after seeing it.
I do recall — if barely — the person I saw it with. Her name was Erin, she was from Baltimore and it was our first and only date. She was cute, with a nice body, short, dark hair, shy, unassuming and companionable. As I recall we had a perfectly nice evening. I’ve no memory why I didn’t pursue a relationship with her, though I seem to remember regretting at it at some point later. I also don’t even remember seeing her around anymore. She was — for what must have been a very short time — a receptionist at the newspaper I worked at. In any case I met the woman I’m currently married to almost exactly one year after my date with Erin.
Last weekend I watched a film set in England during World War II. One of the main characters was a boy of about ten who wore his hair much longer than any lad did in those days. Several other male characters wore their hair too long for the 1940s as well. If you go to all the trouble of getting period appropriate costumes and sets, is it really any harder to give cast members an appropriate haircut?
How often have you heard someone say: “I hate good-byes.” Fair enough. But who doesn’t? After all you never hear anyone say: “by golly I love good-byes.” Never. Saying "I hate good-byes" is akin to saying, "I hate getting sick."
I was enjoying a film the other day when two characters parted with one saying, “meet for breakfast tomorrow?” The other agreed and they went on their way. Bugged the hell out me. When are they going to meet? Six? Eight? Nine-thirty? Would it really bring the movie to a screeching halt if the conversation had been: “meet me for breakfast tomorrow, say about eight?”
Do people still play polo? I only ever see it in movies from the thirties and forties. I think it should be introduced to inner city schools as a way of keeping troubled youth off the streets. Get about twenty horses, the necessary equipment and a coach and let ‘em have it. I'm counting on you here, President Biden.
Netflix, we need to talk. First of all about this “continue watching thing” — take a hint. If I stopped watching something over two months ago it’s a pretty safe bet that I’m done. I watched the first few episodes of Space Force and by early August decided it wasn’t for me. Yet it remained under the continue to watch label for months after. Did you think I forgot that I’d started it? Do I seem senile to you? When it comes down to it I could do without the continue watching feature entirely. I know what I’ve been watching and I know what I want to continue to watch and what I don’t. Let it go.
This next one goes out to most streaming services: let me finish watching the closing credits without you butting in trying to get me to watch something else. For crying out loud I just completed a two hour movie and you expect me to — without missing a beat — start in on another one? At the very least a person needs to get up and stretch. Even on days when I watch more than one movie I take at least an hour break between them.
And what the hell is the difference between “trending now” “popular on Netflix” and “top ten in the U.S.A?” And am I really supposed to care about “what’s hot?” Because I don’t. I guess there are a lot of people who want to know what “everyone” else is watching so that they can securely feel like part of the masses. I don’t. I watch what I think I’ll enjoy and whether that’s “trending” “hot” or “popular in my area” is of no consequence to me.
Signs you’re stupid
Ever wonder if you’re stupid? Ponder no more. If any of the following is true about you, then, my friend, you ain’t too bright:
You chew gum loudly
You wear a cowboy hat
You play loud music from your vehicle while driving through quiet neighborhoods
You wear flip flops on cold and/or rainy days
You say or write “anyways”
You watch NASCAR
You think diet sodas are good for you
You ask people, “working hard or hardly working?”
You vape
Okay so how about signs you’re smart? Seems only fair. Here you go.
Signs you’re smart
You read and enjoy this blog
We're approaching the eleven-month mark in the pandemic and I'm beginning to envy characters in movies and TV shows. Watch as they mingle, go to parties, eat in crowded restaurants, take in a ball game. Thanks goodness one can at least watch normal life on the screen. Being avoided and avoiding people while walking has gotten really old.
My second novel is now available on Kindle. When the paperback is issued I'll have an entire post about it. Should be soon.
Meanwhile I completed a first draft of my third novel and have put that aside as I work on my fourth. I'm anticipating interest from major publishing houses and from movie studios. Also anticipating Rihanna asking me out, so....
I close with some advice for writers:
Plan to write everyday. Setting goals is good, such as writing 1,000 words a day.
Read a lot and read a variety of kinds of writing including non-fiction poetry and journalism.
Don't go overboard reading about writing, you eventually reach a point of diminishing returns.
Be observant. Pay attention to your environment, people and how interactions unfold.
Watching good films and TV shows informs your writing as does appreciating other arts such as music and paintings. Find what inspires you.
Write what you know and what you don't know.
Write long first drafts, keep going until you run out of steam and later edit and reflect.
Know your grammar rules
Have fun.
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