The Best of Film Quotes

Marylin Monroe in Some Like it Hot.

Film quotes first appeared on this blog in November 2009. There were six more editions in the next two years but then they mysteriously disappeared for nine years finally returning last March. All told film quotes have appeared ten times and given that number I thought it a good time to present this, my greatest hits. Sort of. Instead of being literally my 25 favorite lines from films this is more like 25 of my top 30 or so. If it were a true top 25 you'd see multiple quotes from a few movies and multi quotes from the same actor. I decided that for this compilation there would be a limit of one quote per movie and one per actor. Okay I cheated on the last one, I have two from Groucho Marx from whom I could easily put together a list of well over 30. I may in fact do that in the future. I could have had multiple quotes from Woody Allen and I did once put together a list comprised entirely of lines from his films and just might do a part two of that some day. Also, I limited myself to English language films,  I may present a list of great quotes from foreign language films soon too. Anyhoo (as they say at the Rand Corporation) here are 25 of the best from the ten previous editions of film quotes. They are offered in no particular order.

With all my heart, I still love the man I killed. -- Bette Davis as Leslie Crosbie in The Letter (1940).

She tried to sit in my lap while I was standing up. — Humphrey Bogart as Philip Marlowe in The Big Sleep (1946).

You know, at one time, I used to break into pet shops to liberate the canaries. But I decided that was an idea way before its time. Zoos are full, prisons are overflowing... oh my, how the world still dearly loves a cage. — Ruth Gordon as Maude in Harold and Maude (1971).

I have here an accident policy that will absolutely protect you no matter what happens. If you lose a leg, we'll help you look for it. — Groucho Marx as Otis B. Driftwood in A Night at the Opera (1935).

Real diamonds! They must be worth their weight in gold! -- Marylin Monroe as Sugar Kane Kowalczyk in Some Like it Hot (1959).

I don't wanna badmouth the kid, but he's a horrible, dishonest, immoral louse. And I say that with all due respect. -- Woody Allen as Danny Rose in Broadway Danny Rose (1984).

Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. -- Brad Pitt as Tyler Durden in Fight Club (1999).

Carey Mulligan in Inside Llewyn Davis.

I should have had you wear double condoms. Well, we shouldn't have done it in the first place, but if you ever do it again, which as a favor to women everywhere, you should not, but if you do, you should be wearing condom on condom, and then wrap it in electrical tape. You should just walk around always inside a great big condom because you are shit! -- Carey Mulligan as Jean in Inside Llewyn Davis (2013).

Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today. -- Bill Murray as Phil Connors in Groundhog Day (1993).

The Uncertainty Principle. It proves we can't ever really know... what's going on. So it shouldn't bother you. Not being able to figure anything out. Although you will be responsible for this on the mid-term. -- Michael Stuhlbarg as Larry Gopnik in A Serious Man (2009).

You missed a very dull TV show on Auschwitz. More gruesome film clips, and more puzzled intellectuals declaring their mystification over the systematic murder of millions. The reason they can never answer the question "How could it possibly happen?" is that it's the wrong question. Given what people are, the question is "Why doesn't it happen more often?"  -- Max Van Sydow as Frederick in Hannah and Her Sisters (1986).

All I want is to enter my house justified. -- Joel McCrea as Steve Judd in Ride the High Country (1962).

I've suffered the tortures of the damned sir, the tortures of the damned. -- Malcom McDowell as Alex in A Clockwork Orange (1971).

It's becoming ridiculous the way you grab attention. Whenever I start to tell a story, you finish it. If I go on a diet, you lose the weight. If I have a cold, you cough. And if we should ever have a baby, I'm not so sure I'd be the mother. -- Carole Lombard as Maria Tura in To Be or Not to Be (1942).

Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos. -- John Goodman as Walter Sobchak in The Big Lebowski (1998).

Rich fellas come up an' they die, an' their kids ain't no good an' they die out. But we keep a'comin'. We're the people that live. They can't wipe us out; they can't lick us. We'll go on forever, Pa, 'cause we're the people.. -- Jane Darwell as Ma Joad in The Grapes of Wrath (1940).

On the self-abuse front - and this is important - I don't think it's advisable to do it in the shower. It wastes water and electricity and because we all expect you to be doing it there in any case. And, not on... under the linen... Well... Anyway, if you're worried about anything at all, just feel free to ask and we'll look it up. -- Kevin Kline as Ben Hood in The Ice Storm (1997).

Waiter, will you serve the nuts? I mean, will you serve the guests the nuts? -- Myrna Loy as Nora Charles in The Thin Man (1934).

It made me think of what you once told me: "In five years the Corleone family will be completely legitimate." That was seven years ago. — Diane Keaton as Kay in The Godfather Part II (1974)

Jimmy Stewart in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.

Just get up off the ground, that's all I ask. Get up there with that lady that's up on top of this Capitol dome, that lady that stands for liberty. Take a look at this country through her eyes if you really want to see something. And you won't just see scenery; you'll see the whole parade of what Man's carved out for himself, after centuries of fighting. Fighting for something better than just jungle law, fighting so's he can stand on his own two feet, free and decent, like he was created, no matter what his race, color, or creed. That's what you'd see. There's no place out there for graft, or greed, or lies, or compromise with human liberties. And if that's what the grownups have done with this world that was given to them, then we'd better get those boys' camps started fast and see what the kids can do. And it's not too late, because this country is bigger than the Taylors, or you, or me, or anything else. Great principles don't get lost once they come to light. They're right here; you just have to see them again! -- Jimmy Stewart as Jefferson Smith in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939).

Oh God, how depressing! You're meant to think I'm an international woman of mystery. I'm working on it like mad. --  Liza Minelli as Sally Bowles in Cabaret (1972).

Conscience... that stuff can drive you nuts! -- Marlon Brando as Terry Malloy in On the Waterfront (1954).

You wanna boycott someone? You ought to start with the goddamn barber that fucked up your head. -- Robin Harris as Sweet Dick Willie in Do the Right Thing (1989).

If it was raining hundred dollar bills, you'd be out looking for a dime you lost someplace! -- Barbara Stanwyck as Ann in Meet John Doe (1941).

You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't have fucked that guy?' We could be that mistake! - - Jonah Hill as Seth in Superbad (2007).

You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny? -- Joe Pesci as Tommy DeVito in Goodfellas (1990).

It's too late. I've already paid a month's rent on the battlefield. -- Groucho Marx as Rufus T. Firefly in Duck Soup (1933).

Positively the same dame! -- William Demarest as Muggsy in The Lady Eve (1941).

Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown. -- Joe Mantell as Walsh in Chinatown (1974).