I have a list of words — suggested by Benjamin Dreyer in his indispensable book, Dreyer’s English an Utterly Correct Guide to Clarity and Style — that I try to keep out of my novel and other writings. After finishing a draft of a chapter, I do a search for those words. In most cases when I find them they are summarily excised. There are exceptions, usually when they are part of dialogue; although even then I often find that they can be deleted and the writing is all the better for it.
Let’s have a look at them.
Very. Many words simply don’t need to be modified by “very” such as beautiful. Leave it at beautiful and if that’s not sufficient try another adjective like gorgeous or stunning. People are described as being “very happy” to see someone who is “very nice.” Can’t they be happy to see someone who is nice? Won’t that do? What’s the difference between frustrating and very frustrating? Or very common and common? I admit that sometimes "very tired" is preferable to tired, but then again wouldn’t exhausted be better? "Very funny" might be okay but couldn’t hilarious do the trick? Too many verys.
Really. The same deal here. "Really tired." "Really sad." "Really funny." I think really is an even weaker word than very. Then there’s “I think he’s a great singer, I really do.” We believed you the first time, the “I really do” didn’t emphasis your point at all, it was excessive. It "really" was.
Rather. I do not refer to rather as in, “instead of going to the movie would you rather stay home?” That’s perfectly fine. What’s objectionable is: “it’s a rather nice apartment.” Hunh? Something being "rather good" or "rather warm" is even weaker than really. Horrible word.
Quite. This is a tricky one because it often works well in dialogue, especially with a British or pretentious character (and certainly with a pretentious Brit). “I’m quite sure,” “it was quite amusing” can be “quite all right” in dialogue but that’s the extent of it, otherwise keep it out.
In fact. Terribly overused and yet often unnoticed. There are cases for it, again mostly in dialogue, but it is, “in fact,” usually superfluous. It’s generally used to emphasize a point as in: “I was going to call you, in fact, I’d just reached for the phone.” Acceptable. However something like this is not: “she’s a great artist, in fact she’s the best in the school.” How about: “she’s the best artist in the school.” Saved seven words and said the same thing.
Just. When used as in “it’s a just cause” it’s fine. Also sparingly used as in “we just finished eating,” in which case you are emphasizing how recently you finished. But never in such all too common misuses as “I just want to talk to her.” Or, “I’m just going to get lunch” or “I’m just going to leave this here.” Take out the “just” in those sentences and they're no different, save being a word shorter.
Some. Here’s one I’ve seen a lot of as a teacher. “After work we drank some beers.” You drank beer. “I’m going to hang out with some friends.” I’m going to hang out with friends. There are “some” cases when you can use the word as this sentence indicates — but be careful. “Do you want some of this soup” is, for example, okay though not great. Again, in dialogue it has its place. Some of the time.
Of course. Twice already while writing this I started to add, of course. Both times I stopped myself and the sentences were better without it. Here’s an example of its overuse: “of course, many people do not follow basic grammar rules.” No need for the “of course.” “Of course, I hope you have a good time.” Not needed. “Of course, we’ll be ready by the deadline.” Again, not needed. It is sometimes okay on its own such as in answering the question: “are you coming to the party?” “Of course!” But overall it is best left out of writing.
Actually. Horrible word. I was recently directed from the doctor’s waiting room to the little room where I was to be treated. The nurse said, “actually, we’re going to be in this room.” Why the “actually”? I could say, as many would, “I actually don’t know” but saying “I don’t know” does the job just as well. “Actually” is occasionally okay in dialogue to wit: “Bob actually said he would never come back.” In the case you are emphasizing that these were the exact words used. But mostly it is a word to be reviled. I'm "actually" quite tired of it. No, I'm tired of it.
So. I refer here to the use of the word “so” as a modifier as in “I’m so tired.” So tired that what? “I’m so hungry.” You’re so hungry that what? Yes, I’m sick of this word (note I didn’t say “so sick” as many would be tempted to do.) There’s also “so” in dialogue as a pause at the start of a sentence: “so, what do you want to do tonight?” Yuck! If needed for authenticity in dialogue then maybe….
Bad English: So, I actually hoped that helped. In fact, I rather think it might be very useful. These were just some suggestions, of course. While I’m quite pleased with this, it was inspired by that really good book by Dreyer earlier mentioned.
Good English: I hope that helped. I think these suggestions might be useful. While I’m pleased with this, it was inspired by the excellent Dreyer book earlier mentioned.
(Note that the Good English had fifteen fewer words than the Bad English.)
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