The answers to the recent Streams of Unconsciousness survey have been tabulated and I’d like to thank all of you who participated. We received hundreds of thousands (give or take) of responses from all over the world. Below you will see the questions I asked followed by the three most common responses with the percentage of people who so responded. Your participation in this survey will help me improve the content and format of the blog in the months and years to come. Thank you! (And congratulations to our prize winner Nebuchadnezzar O'Leary of Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin. He's the respondent whose name was drawn at random. We'll be sending him a $100 gift certificate good for merchandise at our gift shop -- redeemable on-line or in person at the store.)
How often do you check for new blog posts?
61% Daily
17% Several times a day
11% Every few years
Where are you most likely to be while reading the blog?
24% My penthouse
11% A coffee shop
9% Panic room
How did you first hear about the blog?
22% Televised Senate Hearings
16% Ad in Sunday New York Times
10% I know you and you never shut up about it
My favorite thing about reading this blog
91% Finishing reading a post and closing the goddamned page
3% The author’s wit
2% The author’s insights
What is your favorite item at the Streams Gift Shop?
27% Codpieces
22% Top Hats
18% Lederhosen
I would recommend this blog to someone if
49% I hated them
49% If a gun was pointed to my head
2% If I was drunk off my ass
The social media or website I use the most is
32% Tinder
22% Grinder
16% Suicide Hotline
What food are you most likely to be eating when you read this blog?
13% Lobster
9% Scones
5% Badger meat
What field do you work in?
17% Education
15% Organized crime
11% Whaling
Reading this blog is most comparable to
26% An orgasm
18% Root canal
9% Trying to sleep while in the middle of a drum circle
The blogger’s writing style reminds me of
27% F Scott Fitzgerald
22% A second grader
19% Badly translated hieroglyphics
My favorite type of posts are
31% Film reviews
20% Political commentary
18% Orgy etiquette guides
If I should ever meet the blogger I would
44% Let him have his way with me
33% Ask him what his problem was
22% Run like hell
The humor posts on this blog are
51% Hilarious
22% Reminiscent of the best comedic minds of all time
20% Some of these posts are supposed to be funny?
I keep coming back to this blog because
44% It’s so good
31% I’m psychotic
15% The free munchies!
If you’re a premium member, what is your favorite benefit of premium membership?
34% Exclusive content
20% Discount at gift store
19% Solid gold membership card
My favorite weekend activity is
26% Fox hunts
19% Performing Gregorian chants
10% Self-flagellation
My favorite form of government is
31% Social democracy
22% Absolute monarchy
17% Mob rule
A typical Saturday night activity for me is
27% Attending a seance
24% Visiting my local opium den
22% Taking in a cock fight
I get most of my news from
31% News sites on the internet
22% A local gadfly
14% Emails my racist uncle forwards
My recommendation to the blogger is that he should
50% Keep up the good work
39% Bow out gracefully
10% Get back on his meds
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