“Why do you always bring me sugar with my espresso? Everyday I come here for breakfast and everyday when I finish eating I order an espresso and everyday you bring me the espresso and sugar, yet I never, ever put sugar in my espresso and you know this because you usually sit with me while I drink it.”
“Is this something for you to get upset about? Is it really such a big deal. So don’t use the sugar, my putting the sugar on the table doesn’t hurt you one bit.”
“Okay, so it’s not a big deal but I just don’t understand why you always put the sugar on the table. Why?”
“It’s just a habit. Whenever I serve coffee to anyone I automatically bring the sugar. I’m supposed to.”
“Even to me who doesn’t use the sugar.”
“I still don’t get why this is such a big deal. What do you care?”
“It just bothers me is all.”
“Why should such a little thing bother you? Haven’t you got other cares in the world? Why be bothered about something that doesn’t put you out in the slightest?”
“It’s a waste of your time. Maybe I just don’t like seeing you waste your time.”
“Okay, if it’ll make you feel any better I won't bring the sugar to your table next time you order an espresso.”
“Now I’m sorry I made such a big deal out of it.”
“After all that now you decide you’re sorry about making such a big deal out of it. Geez, you’re hard to figure.”
“I guess I’m getting crotchety in my old age.”
“Old age? You’re not that old.”
“I’m a good two dozen years older than you.”
“The heck you are. I’m 32.”
“Well I’m 60, so there you have it?”
“In a pig’s eye you’re 60. I’d have trouble believing you’re 50.”
“You want me to whip out my driver’s license?”
“As long as that’s the only thing you whip out.”
“When have I ever done the slightest thing that suggested that I’m a dirty old man?”
“I’m just teasin’ ya, but I do see the way you look at my ass when I walk away.”
“Wait a second, how can you tell if someone is looking at your ass if you’re walking away?”
“See that mirror over there?”
“Geez I’m busted. Well in my defense you’ve got a nice one.”
“I suppose that’s a compliment.”
“Of course it is. There’s nothing wrong with suggesting you’ve got a cute ass, it’s not as if I don’t enjoy talking to you and don’t enjoy your intellect.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re a very bright person and I always like talking to you. Why do you think I tip you so well?”
“I always thought the tips were on account of my ass. And don’t think I don’t notice you sneaking a peak at my tits when I bend over to serve you.”
“Well how the hell can I not see them? They’re practically in my face.”
“Not that you mind.”
“Not that I mind, indeed.”
“Haven’t you dated since your wife died?”
“Couple of times, but I didn’t enjoy it. There was no spark and it was too much work getting to know someone from scratch. I could do it when I was young, but I haven’t the energy.”
“I know what you mean. It’s been hard for me to get back in the dating scene since my divorce. I guess I just don’t trust men anymore.”
“You can trust me.”
“Like you said, you’re a couple of centuries older than I am.”
“I said a couple of dozen years!”
“Still, that’s a pretty big gap.”
“You might like an older man.”
“Are you flirting with me?”
“Hell, just about all I do is flirt with you. Hadn’t you noticed?”
“There’s different kind of flirting. What you’ve done before was just for fun, this time it seems you're trying to get something out of it.”
“You can’t blame a fella for trying.”
“Well, I’m flattered.”
“Maybe I can put a character based on you in my next novel.”
“Not sure how I feel about that. But wait, are you saying you’d do that so I’d sleep with you?”
“Now don’t get all worked up, I’m just having fun. Besides, I wasn’t thinking of sleeping.”
“I’ll bet you weren’t.”
“How about a one-night stand?”
“I believe you’re serious.”
“If you say 'yes' then I’m dead serious, if you say 'no' then I was just fooling around.”
“Hmm, I do have to say you’re in pretty good shape.”
“For a man of my age?”
“I’d say for a man of a certain age, you look ten years younger.”
“Nice.”
“But that’s still a lot older than me.”
“Age is just a number.”
“You’ve got a point there.”
“So really I never thought of this before, but why don’t we, well, start off with dinner some night, how about that?”
“And I suppose that I’m the dessert?”
“Depends on how you look at it, maybe I’m the dessert.”
“I’ve always thought you were a wit.”
“That’s just one of my strong suits.”
“I suppose another is your prowess in the bedroom.”
“Well, I don’t like to brag.”
“No, I’m sure you don’t.”
“So whattaya say? Dinner and a nightcap at my place? I have a really nice apartment.”
“I should hope you do, you being a big time author.”
“I don’t know that I’m big time. Whatever I am as a writer it’s only enough to make me middle class.”
“Just that, huh?”
“Maybe upper middle class.”
“Maybe.”
“So are you thinking about it?”
“Look, you don’t have to buy me dinner. How about I just come up to your place some night and chat and we see where the evening takes us.”
“I’m loving this conversation. I’m sure glad it’s slow here today.”
“Yeah I bet you are. But I need the tips.”
“Okay so you want to come over tonight?”
“Sure, my calendar is open. But no promises.”
“Hey I’ll be happy just to spend time with you somewhere besides in this restaurant. Anything else that happens is a bonus.”
“Bonus, huh? Well we’ll just have to see if you earn that bonus Mr. Novelist.”
“You are a sexy woman.”
“By the way, your espresso is getting cold.”
“Needs more sugar.”
“Funny.”
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