“That assembly was retarded.”
“God Jake, you totally can’t say that.”
“What, why?”
“Declan is right, dude. You’re not supposed to call anything retarded.”
“Or anyone.”
“Why not? What if some dude is retarded?”
“First of all, it’s offensive, people who are retarded don’t like it.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? Retarded people don’t care what you call them.”
“Goddamnit Jake, yes they do. Just cause they’re retarded doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings.”
“But mostly it's the families of people who are retarded that don’t like the word being used. It’s too negative.”
“Negative? Shit, it’s what they are.”
“It doesn’t matter, man. You cannot use the word.”
“Well fucking great, what are you supposed to call retarded people?”
There was silence for a few seconds.
“Isn’t something like people with special needs?”
“What kind of horseshit is that? Special needs, gimme a break.”
“Actually I think special needs is for people with disabilities.”
“Being retarded is a disability.’
“No, for people with physical ones.”
“Ones what?"
"Disabilities, ass wipe.”
“You don’t have to get all crude about it.”
“No, I think I do because you’re getting on everybody’s nerves.”
“Yeah but look none of you have said what we’re supposed to call retarded people. I mean okay, I get we don’t call them that but will someone give me a substitute word?”
There was silence for a few seconds.
“Okay, here’s what I found on the internet and it matches what Mr. Kadeski said in Science class last year. ‘Intellectually and developmentally disabled’ is one there’s also ‘cognitive disability’ ‘intellectual disability’ and ‘developmental disability.’”
“Okay, okay, I’ll got with developmentally disabled. I just don’t see why these names have to be so damn long. Retarded was one short word. Now everything is like two or three long words.”
“Actually, I know what you mean. My dad said that when he was a kid black people were called negroes and it wasn’t considered like a bad word like the n word is. Then at some point it changed to African American. He also said something about people from Asia all being called orients or something.”
“Oriental.”
“What’s wrong with Oriental? Jesus why do names for people have to change?”
“I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with Oriental. Declan, you want to look that one up too?”
“I’m on it….Ya know, I’m not finding a reason. People seem just to not like it but it was never used, like ‘retarded' is as a negative term.”
“That’s so fucked up. Some people just decide its offensive without saying why and now we can’t use it?”
“Do you really want to use it, Jake? Do you really need to?”
“No, of course not, Allan, but I don’t like all these words being taken away for no good reason.”
“Some of them are taken away for good reason, they’ve been used to hurt people. People are offended by them.”
“Maybe people shouldn’t get so easily offended. Maybe they should realize that they’re just words.”
“So if I call you a fucking asshole is that's ‘just words.’”
“C’mon, Declan you know that’s different, those are words that are meant to hurt people. Oriental isn’t meant to hurt anyone, neither is retarded.”
“Okay I see what you’re saying but still people should be able to tell other people what they do and don’t wanna be called.”
“So what if I don’t want to be called ‘white’?” What if a whole bunch of us decide that ‘white’ is offensive. Will non-white people stop using it?”
“It depends, do you have a good reason — do you have any reason — for saying white is offensive?”
“First of all its a bad description. Paper is white, our skin is not white, it’s as close to pink as it is to white.”
“That’s a decent point.”
“Plus the way some African Americans use the word ‘white’ like we’re all bad, ya know how they’ll say shit like, ‘you white people always be doing this or saying that.’”
“Okay Jake but listen are a lot of white people really complaining about the word?”
“No, but maybe they should be. Maybe —- .”
“What word would you want to be used instead of white?”
There was silence for a few seconds.
“Okay, I admit I don't know, but there’s gotta be another word that’s better.”
“You think of it Jake and let us know.”
“Maybe you like caucasian better.”
“I could think of worse.”
“So you seriously want to go with caucasian? Such a weird word.”
“Doesn’t it come from some mountains in Russia or something? Declan, check it out.”
“I’m on it….Yup, there are mountains and they border Europe and Asia. In Russia and a few other countries.”
“So how do you get caucasian as a name for white people out of that?”
“I’m looking right now…..Well I’m a little shaky and how it relates to the mountains — although maybe because the original white people came from the area. Anyway, it’s like negroid and mongoloid ‘cause it refers to a race of people.”
“I don’t like the idea of being referred to as a caucasian.”
“Me either.”
There was silence for a few seconds.
“Have you ever heard European-American? There’s some bullshit there.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Well you’re lumping all these people together from totally different places. Like you Allan, you’re family is from Sweden and Michael Tomaso’s parents came from Italy and I’m like part English, Irish and French and yet we’re all just European American.”
“What about African American? There are like 50 countries in Africa.”
“Yeah but black people here don’t usually know where their ancestors come from, I mean like which country, they just know that they come from the continent.”
“Sometimes I think all this hyphenating is just bullshit.”
“It can be, but if your family is all from one place like Japan then being Japanese-American makes sense.”
“I ‘spose, but why can’t we all just be Americans?”
“Because a lot of people are proud of their heritage and they want to be identified that way.”
There was silence for a few seconds.
“Hey, speaking of ‘identifying’ can you believe Marcus not wanting to be called by he or him because he’s — what he say he was?”
“Gender neutral.”
“What the fuck kind of crazy bullshit is that?”
“Marcus doesn’t feel like a man or a woman — yet.”
“Jesus, do you think that he’s going to turn himself into a woman, like have his dick cut off.”
“I don’t know, man, I don’t even like to think about it.”
“Hey, check it out, what about that dude Chris I hear he’s — ”
“If you mean Chris who wears the red jacket all the time he’s not a dude, man, that’s a chick.”
“No way.”
“Yeah, Declan is right, she’s a Christine, not a Christopher.’
“She must totally be a lesbian.”
“Ya think?”
“Well, Becky McAllister came out as lesbian in like the seventh grade.”
“Yeah that was no surprise.”
“And no loss.”
“Isn’t Peter Wright gay?”
“Yeah, he’s told a few people.”
“I’m cool with it. I mean thinking about the sex they do is totally gross but as long as they’re not bothering me….”
“Jake, dude, like some gay guy is going to hit on you.”
“Well it could happen.”
“I’m pretty sure that they only hit on people they know are gay.”
“How can they tell?”
“You’ve heard of having gaydar, right? Well they have it ten times stronger than any straight person ever could.”
“My mom said we’re lucky because when she was going to school, like nobody was out of the closet. Like you’d practically get killed if you came out.”
“Yeah, I guess that would suck.”
There was silence for a few seconds.
“I’m gonna get a girlfriend this year.”
“Me too. I’m tired of the kind of pretending like we did back in middle school where a guy and a girl say they’re a couple or are going together but they never do anything.”
“I know, I was going with Jenny McCall for a few months in 8th grade and all we ever did was talk on the phone, text and hang together at school dances. I think we kissed like twice.”
“Declan, you still going with Annie.”
“Yeah, I guess for awhile.”
“You two ever make out yet?”
“Yeah a lot of times.”
“Get any further.”
“If I did I wouldn’t tell you.”
“He hasn’t.”
“I’m ready to get laid.”
“Dude, me too and that’s all I want to do. I don’t want or need a girlfriend to do that.”
“So, Jake, you sayin’ you’re going to be a player.”
“Exactly.”
“Shit, it’s nearly five o’clock, I gotta go, my parents are going to kill me.”
“Yeah I should be getting home too.”
“Good talk everybody. See ya.”
“Bye.”
“Later.”
“Fucking first period P.E. tomorrow, see you there.”
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