I bring you happy tidings. It's time for another edition of questions (I really need to come up with a title for this feature). As regular readers of this blog (I'm looking at you Gerkihis Pettifogg of Hay-on-Wye Wales, UK) know, this is where I pose various questions that have been vexing me -- and doubtless scores of thousands of others. Enjoy!
Are Fabergé eggs better scrambled or poached?
You often hear people say or write: “I thought to myself.” Absent having mental telepathy who else can you “think to”?
What do cannibals eat if they’re vegan?
If you can put half and half in your coffee can’t you also use a quarter and a quarter and a quarter and a quarter?
When Jean-Paul Sartre said, “hell is other people,” was he at CPAC?
Where does one get a copy of the woke agenda? Are there hard copies or is just online?
Isn’t it rude and presumptuous to tell a person to “get over” something? Shouldn’t people be allowed to “get over” things in their own good time?
Why don’t restaurants serve gruel or at least curds and whey?
Why is that newspapers always report on the death of famous people but never mention them when they’re born?
I’ve never met a bully named Milo. Have you?
I’ve heard people say that Valentine’s Day is a made up holiday. Aren’t they all made up? It’s not like any of them occur naturally.
Why the hell hasn’t everyone figured out that "a lot" is two words?
Why do they call them sports coats? You never see people wearing them while playing sports.
Why do people say “at this moment in time” when they could simply say, “now”?
Shouldn’t they have speed bumps on race tracks to keep cars from going too fast?
What’s the deal with rhetorical questions?
Is there a consensus among philosophers that if you do the hokey pokey and your turn yourself around that’s what it’s all about?
Why do people stop playing hide-and-go-seek and tag when they get older?
You hear about people faking their own death but do people ever fake their own life?
Do fish ever moisturize?
Ever notice that when people say, you’ve got another thing coming, they never specify what that other thing is. Why not?
I hear about people being overwhelmed and underwhelmed but nobody ever seems to just be whelmed. Why is that?
In the military soldiers are often told to “stand down.” What the hell?
Who is this Simon fellow and why does everyone do whatever he says?
Why do people give a piece or a bit of advice? Why not a chunk of advice or even an entire slab?
When did garbage become landfill and who made the call?
Why do some people meet up instead of just meet? Is meeting up different than meeting?
You often hear of people having qualms about something but no one ever seems to have just a single qualm. Why is that?
Things are always running the gamut, doesn’t anything ever just walk the gamut?
Why is antimatter so opposed to matter?
Ever notice that every copy you make with a photocopier comes out looking the same? Why can’t each copy have it’s own unique look, like a snowflake?
Why haven’t conjoined twins ever been on the Supreme Court?
During transportation delays there are often announcements in which people are thanked for their patience. How do they know people have been patient? Are they spying on us?
We are asked to get on busses, trains and cars? Isn’t it infinitely safer to get in them?
People often try to put their best foot forward. Can’t putting your second best food forward be good enough? After all it’s in the top two.
Why is flotsam always linked with jetsam? Why can’t one of them be on its own?
I heard someone say they were going to their Psych class. Is that a course that teaches you how to psych people out?
Why are there only seven days in a week? If we had a nine day week we could have four-day weekends.
Why do people constantly need someone to hold their beer? Can’t they just rest it on a table?
People talk about something being as easy as taking candy from a baby. Isn’t it bad for a baby to have candy? Who’s giving candy to babies?
Do digital creators create digits?
Up until 1996 there was a United States Bureau of Mines. But was there ever a United States Bureau of Yours?
No comments:
Post a Comment