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| Lady MacBeth who seeks a spot remover |
I draw inspiration from a now deceased friend of mine who recently said, “I’m dead, whattaya want from me?” Being in a terminal state is no excuse for not contributing to a discussion or offering suggestions. We have a president whose brain is quite dead and that doesn’t stop him talking a blue streak. (What if instead of a blue streak, people talked a blue steak? It makes as much sense as talking a blue streak. Also, why blue? Can you talk a lavender or chartreuse streak. Or steak? Let’s try it: my Uncle Herb talks a chartreuse steak.) Forget I brought it up….
I sometimes refer to my wife as “the better half.” This is selling her short. She’s so much the better of the two of us that she is more the better three-quarters. Speaking of quarters…I found one on my walk yesterday and picked it up. Many years ago I stopped picking up pennies despite the old saw that goes “find a penny, pick it up, all the day you’ll have good luck.” Doesn’t work. I’ve found pennies and had miserable days. The only value of a penny is if you have a second one and can toss them into a discussion (for those of you slow on the uptake — that would include all evangelicals — this is in reference to throwing or adding your two cents as a means to contribute your ideas). You’re welcome….
Actually, now that you mention it, a penny can be used to buy access to a person’s thoughts as in “a penny for yours.” Although that’s an old phrase and I’m sure with inflation a typical thought will now go for a nickel or in hoity toity places like New York, a dime....
Where was I? Oh yes, picking up a quarter. So first I stopped stooping to pick up mere pennies, then later I began turning up my nose at nickles and dimes. I am, however, not ready to pass a quarter by. You can no longer buy anything with a quarter but if you put four of them together you’ve got yourself a dollar. Come to think of it you can’t do a helluva lot with a dollar either other than tip. But the pandemic has put a crimp on tipping. You can add gratuities via your credit card but I prefer the peeling of a fin or a tenner off my bankroll and when I say peeling off big bills from my bankroll what I really mean is that I scrounge around in my wallet for a one….
I find it fascinating that the first choice to play Tom Joad in Grapes of Wrath was not Henry Fonda, but George Sanders. Apparently director John Ford was originally intent on taking the film in a different direction (well, they still would have traveled west to California, but you now what I mean) having Tom being erudite, urbane and affecting a high class British accent. He thought it would be interesting to have a contrast to the uneducated rabble that comprised the rest of the Joad family. In any event studio heads intervened and sobered up Ford and Fonda got the part. What might have been….
Recently I was able to chat over Zoom with Lord and Lady MacBeth who long ago were immortalized by Billy Shakespeare in something called The Scottish Play — at least that’s what it’s known as by the casts and crews that put it on, I believe it’s official title is Othello. Anyhoo, the MacBeths (or the Macky Bs as those of us close to them like to call them) were their usual chatty selves, although Lady Mac did so go one about having a dickens of a time getting a spot out. I suggested Clorox, now in a handy spray battle. We also discussed haggis…..
I subsequently had a conversation — again via the magic of Zoom — with an old friend, Ichabod Crane, who resides in a place called Sleepy Hollow. You may know Ichy from his popular program on the Discovery Channel: Myth Busters. Ichabod spoke of simple pleasures, like scones, plum wines, chamber music, chamber maids and headless horsemen. How we laughed….
Speaking of stupid…according to a recent article in Scientific American, our current president, DJ Trumpy, has the same level of intelligence as a walnut. Also, both are tough nuts to crack….
When I attended staff meetings at the public school where I labored for may eons, it was not all hard work and difficult decisions, we used to like to play the blame game. This was often accompanied by pointing fingers. Later we would re-invent the wheel. It felt good to be an inventor. Sometimes we get into groups to discuss something, the share out. This was better than sharing in. We would also sometimes beat a dead horse although given its dormant state there was no harm in it. It was weird when someone would piggyback on something that someone else said. So precarious. Of course it was safer to echo another person’s comment. We would eventually — mind you without benefit of paper or ribbons — wrap things up….
I neglected to mention earlier that the Macbeth’s told me that their favorite musical group is Fleetwood Mac, their favorite song, Mack the Knife, their favorite meal Mac and Cheese, their favorite vehicle, the Mac Truck, their favorite term for raincoat, Mackintosh and their favorite burger is a quarter pounder with cheese…..
That reminds me of an old joke which I just forgot which reminds me that I keep forgetting things and forgetting this reminds me that, damn I forgot….
I hope you’ve found this blog post terribly amusing but likely you’ve just found it terrible. You must think it terrible that it amuses me to have written it, or as my grandfather once said shortly before we put him in a home, “was that supposed to be funny?
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