The Life of a Rock, As Told By One

I’m a rock, specifically a limestone. I’m what’s called a sedimentary rock, my composition includes a lot of marine organisms. My major minerals are calcite and aragonite. Right now I’m by the side of a small road a few miles inland from the Pacific Ocean. It’s a rural area and the road doesn’t get a lot of traffic. There are a fair amount of hikers who use the road to go from a nearby national park to the beach. I was recently kicked by a hiker — inadvertently — about ten feet from the spot I’d been resting on for several years. My new location is pretty much the same except I get a little more shade from a tree, I believe it’s a live oak but I’m not much up on trees. Anyway the shade is welcome on hot Summer days and provides a bit of protection from the heavy rains we get in these parts.

I’ve been at one place or another by this road since it was built in the mid 1920s. Before that I’d been closer to the ocean, in fact within walking distance (not that I, as a rock, can walk). It’s hard to say how I got here, it was a time of a lot of construction and development and there was a lot of confusion and it was traumatic. Repressed memories, I guess. I had been close to where there were a small cluster of houses and a shop. Eventually they grew into a little town. I do know that at one point someone picked me up and carried me a ways, I don't know for what purpose. I know I’ve been thrown a couple of times but not for at least 20 years. Being thrown is kind of a thrill at the time you’re airborne but then you land and it hurts like the dickens and, as happened the last time I was tossed, bits of you can come off. I’ve got a sizable knick where a chunk of me came off back in the Forties when some kid threw me and I landed on another rock.

Of course I’m lucky, some rocks get smashed into bits, others are thrown into the ocean — which is okay for some — others I’ve heard of get thrown through windows or against things. Worst of all, some rocks actually get thrown at people. I’d imagine hitting a person would just be awful.

Being by the road I’m vulnerable to getting hit by a car or motorcycle or even worse, a big truck. I’m a few feet off the road so it would take something like a drunk driver to hit me. I can’t worry about it, though. I’ve really been lucky in another respect, there’s been a lot of bird poop that’s landed right around me — what with me being near a tree — but I haven’t been hit yet. Sometimes animals happen by, dogs of course but also deer, raccoon, porcupines and even bears. I've had pee splash on me although I’ve never been directly peed on. It’s not the worst thing that can happen. I’ve been sniffed quite a few times by animals, you get that a lot if another animal has recently peed in the area. The sniffing doesn’t bother me in the least. It kind of tickles.

I’ve actually been lucky. The worst I've gone through is been hail storms. Some of the hail was pretty big and hard. I can do without that. A really hot day is no fun too, but as a rock I can put up with it, same as really cold days.

You might think that being a rock is boring but it’s all I know and I never pass a dull moment. There are always things to see and hear and smell — yes, rocks can smell and hear and see. There’s a lot you don’t know about rocks. We also have pretty good memories. However I only have vague recollections of my formation. I know I started in clear, warm shallow waters in the ocean. I earlier mentioned some of my composition, I did omit one thing because it’s something I’m not necessarily proud of: fecal debris. But I might as well own it, it’s who I am. Being in the water was a nice place to start and a lot of rocks are very happy to be in the sea or a lake or a river. But I enjoy being on land.

Sometimes I wish I was in a more populated area because I really enjoy hearing what people talk about and seeing what they do. Some of the hikers who pass by have interesting conversations, others sing, which is fun, many are silent which is frustrating for me. Of course there are perils to being around a lot of people. You’re far more likely to be tossed around, broken, splintered, smashed etc. So I guess I’ve got it pretty good.

Life as a rock is not bad. Sure it’s all know, but I’m not complaining.