05 April 2011

Part One of My Exclusive Interview With a Boozy Ole Flirt Who Used To Be In Show Business

This is part one of my exclusive interview with a boozy ole flirt who used to be in show business. Her name is Ann McAdam, or at least that's her current alias. Due to ongoing litigation I cannot reveal her real identity. But what I can do is print my recent interview with her verbatim on this blog. We were introduced by a mutual acquaintance who thought Ann's ravings might be of interest to the general public

Ms. McAdam is of an indeterminate age, but suffice to say middle age is in her rear view mirror. She's been a fixture of the local nightlife for eons (no, literally, she's been around that long). Albeit much of her renown comes from having passed out in every two bit joint in the Bay Area and for that matter most of California...oh hell, most of the US. Annie is a fountain of stories about show business in the halcyon days when, as she puts it, "men swabbed bryclream all over their hair (a little dab'll do ya) and women wore pearls, gloves and nylons." Back then, she adds, "Martinis were more popular than energy drinks, singers crooned into mikes, they didn't prance around stage. Comics delivered zippy one liners, not foul-mouthed rants." Ann knew all the stars, or at least knew of them, one can't always be sure. In any case she was kind enough to sit for this interview, provided the drinks were comped.

This interview was conducted in a booth at Leo's Bar and Grill on Main Street, Anytown USA.

RW: Thanks for --

Boozy Ole Flirt: You got a ciggy, hon. I'm just dying for a Pall Mall.

RW: Sorry I don't besides --

Boozy Ole Flirt: Time was a decent gal like me could puff away in a bar or anyplace for that matter. Don't let anyone tell you all change is for the better.

RW: Duly noted. Tell me about your fling with Sinatra, that must have been an exciting experience to have a dalliance with a member of the Rat Pack.

Boozy Ole Flirt: Now darling this was Frank Junior. But don't kid yourself. He had every bit as much charm as his dad. Plus, my God, I remember like it was yesterday, the love handles. I'll never forget ripping that cummerbund off him and then letting nature take its course.

RW: I see. You also did a lot of singing yourself.

Boozy Ole Flirt: Oh God, lots, hon.

RW: What were some of your more memorable gigs?

Boozy Ole Flirt: Listen sweetie my drink needs a little freshening. Do you mind?

RW: Go right a-

Boozy Ole Flirt: Hey Gus! Another Seven & Seven and make it a double this time.

RW: About your singing engagements.

Boozy Ole Flirt: Oh I was engaged to several singers, hon --

RW: No I meant performances.

Boozy Ole Flirt: Oh of course you did, hon. Let's see. I sang at the Can Can Club in Topeka. You know it?

RW: Uh, no.

Boozy Ole Flirt: A real dive. But believe you me you had to wow 'em there or they'd practically throw you off the stage.

RW: And did you?

Boozy Ole Flirt: Did I what?

RW: Wow 'em?

Boozy Ole Flirt: I've still got an aching bone in my rump from where I landed. (Laughs.) But I was a hit at the Safari Room in Moosejaw. Course now, I had to burlesque it up a little there.

RW: You mean you stripped?

Boozy Ole Flirt: In a word.

RW: Did you take your clothes off in public often?

Boozy Ole Flirt: Oh all the time, dear. Course usually I was bombed out of my mind and not getting an nickel for it.

RW: Did you ever appear on TV?

Boozy Ole Flirt: The Tonight Show back when Steve Allen hosted.

RW: Did you just sing or were you a guest?

Boozy Ole Flirt: No hon, I was in the audience. The camera caught me just howling at one of Louis Nye's lines.

RW: I see. But you never actually performed on television.

Boozy Ole Flirt: Not that I can recall. I was pretty well loaded through much of the early Sixties so there's no telling what I did then.

RW: But you did a lot of acting too, didn't you?

Boozy Ole Flirt: Folks say I act up quite a bit, yes. Fact I've been given the heave ho from several dumps for my acting up.

RW: Actually I meant acting like playing a role.

Boozy Ole Flirt: Oh I see you whatctya mean. Yeah some guys are into that kinky stuff. I say sex is sex and who needs to --

RW: No I mean --

Boozy Ole Flirt: HEY GUS! WHERE'S THAT DRINK? Scuse me, hon, I've got to go powder my nose....

To be continued....

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