How Should One Serve Fabergé Eggs and Other Questions Vexing Me

I bring you happy tidings. It's time for another edition of questions (I really need to come up with a title for this feature). As regular readers of this blog (I'm looking at you Gerkihis Pettifogg of Hay-on-Wye Wales, UK) know, this is where I pose various questions that have been vexing me -- and doubtless scores of thousands of others. Enjoy!

Are Fabergé eggs better scrambled or poached?

You often hear people say or write: “I thought to myself.” Absent having mental telepathy who else can you “think to”? 

What do cannibals eat if they’re vegan?

If you ask someone what’s new and they respond “same ole, same ole,” are you legally allowed to punch them?

If you can put half and half  in your coffee can’t you also use a quarter and a quarter and a quarter and a quarter?

When Jean-Paul Sartre said, “hell is other people,” was he at CPAC?

Where does one get a copy of the woke agenda? Are there hard copies or is just online?

Isn’t it rude and presumptuous to tell a person to “get over” something? Shouldn’t people be allowed to “get over” things in their own good time?

Why don’t restaurants serve gruel or at least curds and whey?

Why is that newspapers always report on the death of famous people but never mention them when they’re born?

I’ve never met a bully named Milo. Have you?

I’ve heard people say that Valentine’s Day is a made up holiday. Aren’t they all made up? It’s not like any of them occur naturally.

Why the hell hasn’t everyone figured out that "a lot" is two words?

Why do they call them sports coats? You never see people wearing them while playing sports.

Why do people say “at this moment in time” when they could simply say, “now”?

Shouldn’t they have speed bumps on race tracks to keep cars from going too fast?

What’s the deal with rhetorical questions?

Is there a consensus among philosophers that if you do the hokey pokey and your turn yourself around that’s what it’s all about?

Why do people stop playing hide-and-go-seek and tag when they get older?

You hear about people faking their own death but do people ever fake their own life?

Do fish ever moisturize? 

Ever notice that when people say, you’ve got another thing coming, they never specify what that other thing is. Why is that?

I hear about people being overwhelmed and underwhelmed but nobody ever seems to just be whelmed. Why is that?

In the military soldiers are often told to “stand down.” What the hell?

Who is this Simon fellow and why does everyone do whatever he says?

Why do people give a piece or a bit of advice? Why not a chunk of advice or even an entire slab?

When did garbage become landfill and who made the call?

Why do some people meet up instead of just meet? Is meeting up different than meeting?

You often hear of people having qualms about something but no one ever seems to have just a single qualm. Why is that?

Things are always running the gamut, doesn’t anything ever just walk the gamut?

Why is antimatter so opposed to matter?

Ever notice that every copy you make with a photocopier comes out looking the same? Why can’t each copy have it’s own unique look, like a snowflake?

Why haven’t conjoined twins ever been on the Supreme Court?

During transportation delays there are often announcements in which people are thanked for their patience. How do they know people have been patient? Are they spying on us?

We are asked to get on busses, trains and cars? Isn’t it infinitely safer to get in them?

People often try to put their best foot forward. Can’t putting your second best food forward be good enough? After all it’s in the top two.

Why is flotsam always linked with jetsam? Why can’t one of them be on its own?

I heard someone say they were going to their Psych class. Is that a course that teaches you how to psych people out?

Why are there only seven days in a week? If we had a nine day week we could have four-day weekends.

Why do people constantly need someone to hold their beer?  Can’t they just rest it on a table?

People talk about something being as easy as taking candy from a baby. Isn’t it bad for a baby to have candy? Who’s giving candy to babies?

Do digital creators create digits?

Up until 1996 there was a United States Bureau of Mines. But was there ever a United States Bureau of Yours?

I Re-Try Posting These Questions After a Previous Attempt was Mysteriously Banned

As I noted in my previous post The Blogger Team somehow deemed my post of last week unsuitable for innocent eyes. One had to agree to view sensitive material by clicking a link in order to see the post. The link did not work so in effect the post was verboten. I am reposting it here minus one question that I imagine was the reason for the controversy. It contained the word -- not a dirty one at all -- for the performance of oral sex on a woman. This work begins with a cu and ends with a us. Let's see if this version of the post avoids censorship.

Why do math teachers make kids solve problems? Isn’t it tough enough being in school without having to solve an adult’s problems?

Why is it whenever I go to Trader Joe’s they won’t accept anything in trade and insist on cash?

Did anyone else think that a cocktail was a specific kind of drink when they were a kid?

Do people who work tirelessly really never get tired?

If an email reminder doesn’t specify that it is a “friendly reminder” are we to assume it’s a hostile reminder?

Do you think fish ever feel like toweling off?

You hear about old coots, old codgers and old geezers but never about young ones. Why is that?

You always hear people say they hate goodbyes (especially long ones). Isn’t there anyone who enjoys goodbyes?

You hear about people barking up the wrong tree but never hear that someone was barking up the correct tree. Why is that?

Does the Game Show Network ever show episodes of The Blame Game? Is there a home version of the Blame Game?

Have two people named Andy ever hiked together in the Andes?

Why is that — checks notes —people are always checking their notes these days? Doesn’t anyone remember anything anymore?

If something can be far-fetched why can’t something else be near-fetched or just fetched? (And no, I’m not trying to make fetch happen).

I often hear of people making bucket lists. I’m surprised so many people own enough buckets to make a list of them. Why do people have so many buckets?

I’ve never seen a yard for sale at a yard sale nor a garage for sale at a garage sale. Can we talk about this?

Don’t you think sloths need a re-brand? Mustn't it suck to be named after one of the seven deadly sins?

Where's this box that people are supposed to think outside of?

Kids playing baseball are always saying they want a pitcher and not a belly itcher. What wrong with a belly itcher? Why doesn’t anyone want one?

Bathroom tissue and toilet paper are identical. What’s the deal here?

I often hear of something being a blessing in disguise. The obvious question here is: why would anyone disguise a blessing?

I sometimes hear people say that ‘someone has too much time on his hands.’ What is the proper amount of time for a person to have on their hands and who determines this?

You call the room you sleep in the bedroom because there’s a bed in it so why not call the kitchen the refrigerator room or oven room? Why not call the call the dinning room the dining table room? And how about referring to the living room as the sofa room?

Has someone ever said to you: “don’t get me wrong” but you went ahead and got them wrong anyway?

Why do they only give posthumous awards to the deceased? Seems unfair.

Many characters in films, TV and books have said the following: “I’m afraid I’ll have to insist.” But have you ever heard someone say it in ‘real life’?

I worked at a school where they changed the title of the receptionist to reception coordinator and another school where the janitors were renamed custodial services. Who do you suppose they were trying to kid?

Why NOT re-invent the wheel?

Why are they called cross country runners? I never hear of them running from coast to coast.

Why don’t Brits say “by jove” anymore?

If money can’t be happiness, can you trade for it?

Can a rolling stone gather moss if it wants to?

I Somehow Run Afoul of "The Blogger Team" and a Post is Censored

Can you see this post? My last one, from September 2, is currently unavailable to readers. 

A history: On Monday I celebrated Labor Day by putting up a post which was comprised solely of questions. I have done this before.

Here’s a sampling: 

Do people who work tirelessly really never get tired?

If an email reminder doesn’t specify that it is a “friendly reminder” are we to assume it’s a hostile reminder?

Do you think fish ever feel like toweling off?

Later that day I received an email from “the blogger team” telling me that my post violated their community guidelines and that there would be a warning in lieu of my post that indicated the post included “sensitive content.” Readers could clink on a link and view the post at their own peril.

I was stunned.

In my sixteen and half years blogging I’d never seen this before and here it was for such a benign, silly post. I quickly determined that “the blogger team” was probably offended by a single word. Obviously I can’t use it hear lest this post be similarly flagged. The word is the technical term for the performance of oral sex on a woman. It begins with a “c” and ends with a “us.” It is not in the slightest bit offensive nor had I used it in an offensive manner. The question in which it was used was: “Does it bother anyone else that cumulus cloud sounds a lot like c———-us cloud?”

It was not an issue worth fighting over so I removed the question. Magically my post appeared for all the world to see.

But today “the summary is not available” is there again and again one must click a link to view the post. Clicking the link takes you to a page titled “sensitive content warning” and you have to click “I understand and I wish to continue” in order to view the post. That link does not work. At the risk of being obvious that means the post is not available for viewing despite the fact that it most certainly worthy of a PG, if not a G rating. (NOTE: On 9/8 I finally removed the original post and re-posted minus the "nasty word.")

Censorship!

What’s particularly odd about this is that less than a month ago I posted a short story called “Sexual Lessons From the Revolutions, The Sarah Levin Affair” that as one might guess included very clear references to the sexual act. That was fine. “The blogger team" didn’t utter a peep. It's also been fine when  I've used all manner of profanity including words beginning with f and sh.(Don't pretend you don't know what I mean.) But evidently the technical and by no means lewd term for a particular act was deemed inappropriate for the three-year-olds who read my blog.

Weird.

I don’t know if my post with questions is lost to the world or if it will ever return for viewing and I don’t know why it went away after having passed muster. I don’t know if some conservative group has taken over “the blogger team” or there was a glitch in the system or someone’s messing with me or this is all a dream and the alarm will go off soon. Maybe it wasn't that word at all, but if not, then what? Perhaps more will be revealed. If so I’ll keep you posted.

Below is the email “the blogger team sent me.” Make of it what you will. (I think they’ve gone screwy.)

Hello,

     As you may know, our Community Guidelines  

(https://blogger.com/go/contentpolicy) describe the boundaries for what we  

allow-- and don't allow-- on Blogger. Your post titled "Do I Have More  

Questions? Yes I Do and Here They Are" was flagged to us for review. This  

post was put behind a warning for readers because it contains sensitive  

content; the post is visible at  

http://rikuwrites.blogspot.com/2024/09/do-i-have-more-questions-yes-i-do-and.html.  

Your blog readers must acknowledge the warning before being able to read  

the post/blog.

     We apply warning messages to posts that contain sensitive content. If  

you are interested in having the status reviewed, please update the content  

to adhere to Blogger's Community Guidelines. Once the content is updated,  

you may republish it at  

https://www.blogger.com/go/appeal-post?blogId=7539700916676246998&postId=889195564570218448.  

This will trigger a review of the post. You may have the option to pursue  

your claims in court. If you have legal questions or wish to examine legal  

options that may be available to you, you may want to consult with your own  

legal counsel.

     For more information, please review the following resources:

     Terms of Service: https://www.blogger.com/go/terms

     Blogger Community Guidelines: https://blogger.com/go/contentpolicy

     Sincerely,

     The Blogger Team