A Potpourri Featuring: Complaints About Excessive Words, Depression, Administrators and Over-Hyped Blockbusters

The Love That Remains

Dear other people: If you ever say something which confuses me I promise to tell you that I don’t know what you mean. Therefore, you no longer have to insert: “ya know what I mean?” into our conversations. Thank you. By the way, while I have your attention, please omit “ya know” from any chats we have. Also the vast majority of the times that you say “sort of” it is completely unnecessary. Why not dispense with it. Also, as a time saver, please say: “right now” as opposed to “at this point in time.” (I have no idea who came up with “at this point in time” but it needs to leave the vernacular). One more thing, let’s be careful with the use of “particular.” Can anyone explain to me the difference between “this particular house” and “this house”? I thought not. I thought it worth pointing out in this particular blog post — excuse me, I mean, this blog post.

Can I tell you something really nasty about depression. I can? Thanks! It tells you to be wary of happiness, it actually suggests that feeling good is not all it’s cracked up to be and more than that it’s not something you should experience. Depression tries to convince you that your natural state is one of sadness. Then when you are feeling good you’ll often sense it lurking there telling you it’s coming back. The worst part of that is that you know it’s right. What a bastard it is.

Administrators and bosses. I’ve concluded it’s unnatural for humans to be in a supervisory position over other people. My evidence is how bad people are at it. I first started working fifty-seven years ago. Do you realize how many bosses I’ve had? I’m not going to count. The sad thing is I could easily count how many bosses I’ve had who were really good at managing people. The number who were competent isn’t a whole lot more. The number who sucked in one way or another is legion. It’s amazing how often people you work for will tell you bald-faced lies. Not little white ones, not innocent ones, but ones that directly contradict known facts and they negatively impact you. There’s bending the truth then there’s breaking it into little pieces. They will lie to your face, they will lie in emails, letters, smoke signals, any form of communication known to humankind. Mostly they lie to protect their own asses which is the priority of administrators. My bosses have always had bosses that they’ve been answerable to. Their priority is to please those higher ups, you can fuck all the way off. Many administrators are spineless worms. To get to their exalted middle management position they have their backbones removed. They’d no sooner stand up to their superiors than fight a hurricane. They have absolutely no loyalty to you, the hard working drone who makes them look good. Another characteristic of administrators is incompetence. Many of them suck at their jobs while they’re trying to tell you yours. Their inability to make two and two add up to four directly effects you — not that they gave two shits. Having been in education for nearly forty years I’m speaking mostly of school administrators. And I’m speaking of both public schools and the international language schools owned by corporations. Talk about depression, there’s one big fat cause.

The Odyssey is bloody well everywhere. I can’t remember a film that has been so hyped, so analyzed, so thorough dissected. The New York Times has had something about it everyday since before it hit theaters. It’s dominating the culture in a way that is bizarre. Our culture loves the next big thing and when that thing is especially BIG and when it’s universally praised and makes tons of money, well, brother, you’re not going to hear the end of it. It’s a shame that so many terrific films go way, way, way under the radar and barely get a mention while one damn movie dominates the discourse. Of course the question is: did you Mr. Blogger, see it? Yes I did. Last Monday the missus and I joined the hordes. Here’s my experience: It was the scene where Odysseus and his men are trapped in a cave with a giant cyclops. There was a medium shot of the cyclops sitting looking at his captives when I wondered: “What the hell am I doing watching this movie? This is not my thing.” I love films like Winter Light, L’Eclisse and the Last Picture Show. It reminded me of when someone convinced me to see Iron Man in 2008, what a stupid waste of time that was. However The Odyssey was not a stupid, waste of time. It kept me engaged for the entire eleven hour running time and I was impressed by certain aspects of it. That is until the big fight scene at the end. Every blockbuster fight scene cliche was in it which is to say it was badly overdone. No, seeing The Odyssey was not a waste of time. But I’ll tell you what,  I saw a new Icelandic film called The Love That Remains (2025) Pálmason, via the Criterion Channel the other night. That was a great film worthy of at least ten percent of the hype being given Nolan’s epic. As if….

Butts, Asses, Rear Ends, and Derrières, Oh the Many Terms For the You Know What

I was teaching my class American slang the other day when the term butt dial came up. From there I was asked about the proper or more common term for that part of the human anatomy that one sits on. Soon I had twenty different terms on the board. My students were bemused, doubtless in part because their languages also have multiple terms for one’s backside.

Anyway I thought it might be interesting to discuss each term right here on this blog, though frankly there’s not a lot to say about many of them. I’ll give it a go.

Ass. My preference if you’re not in formal company or “polite society.” Very few people are offended by the term anymore. It’s also the one that is best suited for compliments as in “she has a nice ass” or, of course, “he has a nice ass.” It’s used in certain phrases such as “pain in the ass” and “you can kiss my ass.” (I’ve never understood exactly how telling someone that they can kiss your ass works as an insult. Would you really want  this person — who you presumably don’t like or are angry at — to kiss any part of your body? And what if the person rather fancies you and would enjoy puckering up? There are two variations: kiss my ass and you can kiss my ass. The latter explicitly grants permission. I’ve also heard “kiss my aching ass” though what the fact that your ass aches has to do with anything I honestly don’t know.

Butt. Maybe your most common and basic term. Not to be confused with buttload. The term “BUTTLOAD” actually comes from a genuine historical unit of measurement. A butt was a large cask used primarily for storing wine, beer, and other alcoholic drinks, and it equaled about 126 U.S. gallons (roughly 477 liters). In fact, a butt was considered half of a tun, another old liquid measurement. In terms of referring to what one sits on and defecates out of, butt is boring but perfectly serviceable.

Rump. Let’s reserve this for when describing a particular kind of roast or an animal’s anatomy. It’s not used much these days anyway.

Rear end or rear. I don’t know why we would use rear end when the shorter rear is available. But then people do love a redundant word. Rear is suitable, inoffensive, gets the job done.

Tookus (which has various spellings) and its half sibling tush and it’s effeminate form tushy. This is a word more commonly used by our Jewish friends. I’ve never thought to employ it but won’t complain if you do.

Bottom. This seems to be popular for use with children and I believe it appropriate with little tykes. But please, never describe an adult’s ass as a bottom.

Posterior. It’s nice that we have it as an option but I don’t think it should, or will ever, become commonly used.

Buns. Nope. I’ve never heard anyone I respected use this term. Let’s not give it anymore space here. Just move on.

Caboose. It’s kind of cute but not cute enough to take it out of mothballs.

Fanny. Absolutely not. Forget you heard it, I’m sorry I mentioned it. Only your Aunt Gladys with the harelip would use it and then only after a third whiskey sour.

Bum. Short and efficient. Nothing wrong with it. Mostly used by Brits.

Derrière. If you think you sound classy by using a French word you’re only half right. It’s suitable for parties.

Booty. As in booty call. This was popular when I was growing up and mostly within the African American community. Whether it’s usage still skews to younger people and among Blacks, I don’t know. It simply does not work today for adults of any color, ethnicity, religion or lodge membership. Its day has come and gone.

Keister. Your Aunt Glady’s husband, Uncle Hobart will use this but you shouldn’t.  Originating in the late 19th-century underworld, it previously meant a burglar's tool-box or a suitcase, likely derived from the Yiddish or German word Kiste (box/case). It is used to describe the seat, such as "falling on one's keister.”

Tail. Humans do not have tails so forget it.

Heinie. I’ve been around for many decades and have only heard this used maybe a handful of times. It’s dated and fading completely out of use. Or at least one hopes.

Behind. Nothing wrong with it. Fairly common. I don’t know why it would be used in preference to other terms.

Haunches. Maybe it’s a regional thing but — while I know of its existence — I never hear it.

Can. I think it had an earlier heyday. Wouldn’t mind it making a comeback. Don’t know how it started getting used.

Duff. Like others on this list I just don’t get it. But if you must….

There you have it folks, my first ever post about asses, butts, keisters, cans, heinies…..You’re welcome!

This Might Be an "Interesting" Post and Might Reflect that the Author is "Smart"

I finished reading an article in the New York Times this morning  and found myself declaring it “interesting.”

What the hell does that mean? What is interesting? What exactly do we mean when we say that a fact or a person or a movie or book is interesting? If someone tells me that they saw a motion picture and found it interesting I’m going to assume they thought it was merely okay. Please also keep all interesting books the hell away from me. 

 

One thing we don’t mean is that this thing we’re describing was compelling then again we certainly don’t mean that was boring. Sometimes to say something was“interesting” is to be dismissive. But I suppose sometimes it is literally something that captured our interest if not our imagination. It can be damning with faint praise or noting that we were not put to sleep. 

 

Ya know what’s interesting? That Saturn has 274 moons. I find that interesting. I also don’t believe I’ll be going around telling colleagues, friends, relatives or acquaintances about the number of moons Saturn has. I think it far more than interesting that John Adams and Thomas Jefferson both died on the same day and that that day was the 50th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence (I’ll do the math for you, July 4, 1826). 

Is is interesting or fascinating that Adolph Hitler liked Mickey Mouse cartoons? Depends, I guess on your…uh, interests?

 

Another word that doesn’t mean much is smart. He’s a smart guy. Big deal, so am I. Tell me something more…interesting, about him.

What do you mean if you say someone is smart? Smart how? Good at math? Knows current events? Has an advanced degree? Is good at their job? Most everyone save MAGA people are smart in one way or another. You meet a cardiologists you’re meeting a smart person. Right? Well, yeah, they can figure out what’s wrong with someone’s ticker and in most cases fix it. Gotta be smart to do that. But the last cardiologist I spoke to thought that as an ESL teacher I needed to be fluent in all the languages of the students I teach. Folks, that’s dumb. I knew a school administrator who when it came to understanding issues around education was  -- as they say – smart as a whip. But that same person had no clue what was going on in national politics. This was not someone who you felt comfortable having the vote. 

 

There are different kinds of intelligence – or ways to be smart. There are the general categories of book smart and street smart for example. There’s also emotional intelligence. Some people who are considered brilliant have no clue how to interact with their fellow human beings.

 

If you tell me that you’re child is smart I’m going to assume the kid gets good grades in school. Bravo. That’ll get the child to the next level of school and if they keep it up eventually on to college and maybe many degrees of various kinds. Way to go. But maybe they’ll be a drug addict, or sexual deviant, or sociopath. A lot of good smart does you if you’re in jail, or dead of an overdose or are divorced with no friends. 

 

It's great to be smart at something, but it’s better not to be really dumb at important things. I’ve gotten away with being dumb at mechanical things all my life. I can screw in a little bulb but that’s the extent of my abilities with tools and the like. However if I were dumb about crossing streets I’d not be here today. (Can you be a smart or dumb street crosser? Spose so.) I’m not smart at math but I can slap sentences together. I know my U.S. History but can’t tell you much about Romania. We’re all like that. 

I’ve made a lot of dumb mistakes in my life that would seem to reflect a stupid person. Then again things have turned out all right for me, ya know, as if I were smart.

 

When it comes down to it most people are smart and for that matter most people are interesting. So fucking what?

You'll Sort of Know What I Mean as I Discuss Excess Verbiage at This Point in Time

Twenty one times. That’s 21. One score and one. Ten twice and then one. Four fives plus one. Five fours and a singleton. More than double ten.

Yesterday I was at a 12 step meeting where a gentlemen shared, as one does in a meeting and he uttered the words, “ya know what I mean,” twenty-one times. This was not during the course of a one hour oration, he squeezed that dreaded phrase into what was less than five minutes.

Amazing.

There was a chap at a meeting I used to attend who once let forth with 32 “ya know”s but “you know what I mean” is twice as long as — more than twice as long as — a simple “ya know.”

The worst part was that he didn’t once stop to wait for someone to say, “yeah, I know exactly what you mean” or “no, we have no fucking clue what you’re talking about!” The nerve.

(You're probably wondering: what kind of idiot counts "ya knows" and "ya know what I means?" Fair point.)

I wouldn’t have minded so much but earlier in the meeting someone babbled on for well over five minutes (I didn’t think to time him) in a veritable stream of consciousness covering all aspects of his life and sobriety. The real culprit in this situation was the secretary of the meeting who should have cut him short. Several people didn’t get to share because of Mr. Diarrhea of the Mouth.

It behooves me to hear add that the above events are unusual at meetings I attend. For the most part people are respectful and don’t babble on and on and on when sharing and while verbal tics such as sprinkling “ya know” or “sort of” are common enough, a full-fledged battery of “ya know what I mean” is an extreme rarity. 

I suppose complaining or making sport of people who are merely trying to maintain sobriety is gauche but at the same time we can keep off the sauce and maintain decorum at the same time

Here’s something else: I was changing (clothes) in the gym the other day when a behemoth strode between me and the lockers on his way to his locker. He prefaced this invasion of my personal space with the this: “I’m gonna sneak past you.”

Suffice it to say that his attempt at “sneaking” was an utter failure on several counts. First of all there was  his was odd decision to announce the “sneaking.” If you want to sneak anywhere successfully you should by all means keep your intentions to yourself. Secondly, as a man of well over six feet in height and probably nearing 240 pounds in weight, he had zero point zero chance of “sneaking past” anyone who was conscious. 

In other words, he failed to “sneak” past me. But to me the greater sin is the use of the “sneak past” you line. Why not instead employ proper manners and say: excuse me? I would have much preferred those two simple words to his attempt at being cute. It is akin to when someone announces that they’re going to “steal your salt” as opposed to asking if they can borrow it.

But I suppose even that is preferable to the silent ones who require you to stand up at a theater or sports venue as they shuffle by. There are an increasing number of people who fail to offer an “excuse me” “pardon me” or an “I’m sorry” and virtually no one can manage a “thanks” for your consideration. Here I am exception offering both an “excuse me” and a “thanks.”

Earlier I made brief reference to the overused “sort of.” Some people litter their talks with it. “We sort of met to talk about the issue and sort of decided that we’d sort of form a committee to sort of finalize some sort of proposals.” Enough to sort of drive one sort of crazy.

Lastly my favorite podcasters have taken to using “at this point in time.” I often respond to this by saying aloud: “you mean, ‘now’”? 

“At this point in time” has a cousin I very much hate: “at this moment in time.” It can also be translated to: now. 

I guess that at this point or moment in time sounds more erudite to some people. To other people such as me it sounds like excess verbiage. Which is what it is. 

The Blogger Expounds on Writing, Words, Memories and the English Town of Shrewsbury

Cybill Shepherd around the time I "remember" us being in a relationship 

Writing is a release. It lets out things you’ve been keeping bottled up. It’s also a great means of self-discovery. When it’s really flowing you end up revealing things about yourself that you didn’t realize were there.

They come out. Some good. Some not. Some words are just that, but others have meaning behind them sometimes beyond what you can grasp. Our minds can be limited in what they perceive the first time you try to understand something. But they also can unlock worlds.

Brains are funny things. Great tricksters they are at times. Our memories are/can be faulty. It’s said that when we think about something in our past we remember our last memory of it and not the incident itself. I suppose that’s different if you hadn’t thought of something since it happened. It’s best not to put complete trust in our memories. For example maybe my memories of making love to Cybill Shepherd in the mid 1970s are faulty. Maybe it wasn’t a daily event for several months. Could it even be that it never happened? Similarly are my memories of  sexual encounters with Linda Ronstadt in 1973 based in reality? Or Stevie Nicks in 1972? Diane Keaton in 1979? Then there was Lola Falana in the late Sixties. And in the 1980s I had an on and off thing with Heather Locklear -- if memory serves.

I’ve digressed as I’m want to do. Writing is like that. Either you have a laser like focus or you meander and when the latter you can't trust where you might go. But as long as it’s somewhere it is — as they used to say — all good. I guess some people still say “all good.” Do people say “mad respect” anymore? Did they ever? I’ve wrote before about how I miss “funky” and “jive turkey.” Bring those back. “Right on” and “power to the people” left us too soon. Groovy was around just as long as it need to be. Same with “far out.” Both very much of their time. When I was kid things we liked were “boss” or “keen.” You know what’s always been around (not literally always, but since the late 1920s) is “cool.” And I mean in it’s present form. Although now we also use it for “are we cool?” Like is everything okay between us or do you now understand what I was saying.

I remember about ten years ago two of my colleagues were using “cute” for something that would be normally be called “wonderful” “really nice” or “terrific.” I didn’t approve of this and was grateful that it never caught on. But just the other day another colleague used it but was called out by another. Let’s keep “cute” where it belongs: describing puppies, toddlers and girl’s haircuts. Thanks.

The British have more interesting expressions than Americans. We say “thanks.” They do to, but they also say “cheers” and the informal, “ta.” Three ways as opposed to our one. I also like things being “a bit of a muddle.” In sports we say a team has won six in a row or six consecutive games. The Brits say those to, by they also say “six on the bounce,” “six on the trot” and “six on the spin.” Three extra ways of saying it. British sports announcers put their American counterparts to shame.

An American: “and we’re tied!” British: ‘the two sides are back on level terms.” American: “he’s hot right now!” British: “he’s very much the man in form.” 

Yesterday was St. Patrick’s Day. I’ve never understood the day’s popularity aside as for an excuse for amateur drinkers to get plastered. You’re expected to wear green. Why? I’m not Irish. Most people aren’t. Are we really honoring Irish culture? Don’t think so. March 16th was Saint Urho’s Day. I didn’t insist that anyone wear blue and white or drink blue beer. It’s a silly holiday — just like Saint Paddy’s day. 

I thought I was finished writing but then I thought: what will happen if I start another sentence? Let’s see where it leads and here we are with no place to go and plenty of time to do it. Empty space being filled by words strung together. Like the time I got on the wrong train as I was going from London to Wales and ended up in Shrewsbury. That’s where I realized my mistake and got off the train. For some reason I held my error against Shrewsbury and have always rooted against their football team. Looking it up as I just did I discover that it’s not a bad looking town (I only saw it at night). In the West Midlands. Has a rich history, is by a river and hosts a two-day flower show and the annual Shrewsbury Folk Festival. Then there’s this: “The Old Market Hall cinema opened in 2004 in the prominent Tudor market hall positioned in The Square. The independent cinema features daily screens of films from around the world along with a cafe and bar.” Sounds worth a visit. As for that footie team that I referenced, Shrewsbury Town have never played in the top flight of English football nor have they ever had a as many as 20,000 fans at any home match. Not a glorious history but they’ve pulled a few upsets over the years and had a few players who went on to stardom — elsewhere. 

So how’d I get to Shrewsbury? (Funny answer: by train.) It’s what happens when you have no direction. What’s the old saying? Something like: if you don’t know where you’re going you’ll end up somewhere else. 

That’s for sure.

Excesses in Writing and Speech, Euphemisms and Word Order Are All Tackled in this Delightful Post

What do you write when you don’t know what to write? What do you do when you don’t know what to do? Where do you go when you don’t know where to go? What do you think when you don’t know what to think?

Such questions are puzzling me now.

I would have been well within my rights to write “such questions are puzzling me at this moment in time.” To most readers (I flatter myself that there are any) that would be perfectly fine and many would think it more eloquent. But is it necessary? Why the five words of “at this moment in time” when the simple single word “now” suffices?

I’ll “take the matter into consideration.” Or "think about it.”

We do love to slap on extra words — often long ones — in an effort to sound erudite. Raymond Chandler, Ernest Hemingway — to name but two esteemed writers — didn’t waste words. Each was precious and they saw no need for clutter.

In addition to excessive verbiage I’m also bothered by euphemisms, a curse of modern society. Classic examples include “passed away” and “we lost” in lieu of died. Some people can't even manage “passed away” and simply say that Aunt Martha “passed.” The question is did she pass gas or pass away? Perhaps she’s now a quarterback and passed the football. Lost is worse for me. If “we lost our Aunt Martha” the inevitable question is: are you still looking for her?

In most countries people “go to the toilet.” In the US that’s far too graphic and we go to the bathroom or restroom though no bathing or resting are about to happen. 

I can’t recall where this happened but shortly after a lengthy stay in the UK I was back in the states and told someone I had to go to the toilet. By the look on their face you’d have thought I’d gone to the toilet right in front of them. Thereafter I made a point to say restroom. You simply don't want to offend delicate sensibilities. 

Society has become sensitive to the feelings of others (except of course for those in the MAGA movement whose members celebrate their indifference to the suffering of others). This is well and good. (Why do we say “well and good”? Isn’t saying “good” enough?) Sometimes there’s overreach. Referring to someone as “fat” seems cruel but do we have to replace it with “big boned?”  Is overweight so bad? Hearing impaired and sight impaired have replaced deaf and blind and I can’t imagine why. Unhoused for homeless seems bloody ridiculous.

Ever been running a little behind partially because you’re under the weather and you spaced out on the meeting? Or are you late because you’re sick  and you forgot the meeting? Be careful because they might “let you go” which isn’t nearly as bad as being fired. Maybe you prefer being made redundant. 

It would appear that I’m addressing the question posited at the beginning of this writing which was about what to write when you don’t know what to write. The answer is: anything. I suppose something is also a good answer. It may depend on whether you prefer something or anything. Could be related to whether you prefer somewhere to anywhere. Somewhere is a place though we don’t know where. Anywhere is any place and again we don’t know where. Just like somebody is an unknown person while anybody is any unknown person. Somebody sounds more specific. But barely.

I’m going to change the subject….

Every time you call any kind of physician's office for any reason you’re told that if this is a medical emergency you should hang up and dial 9-1-1. What do they think we are, a bunch of idiots? I’ve heard this when calling a psychiatrist’s office, dermatologist’s office and my GP. Do they really think that someone who’s having a heart attack or was just hit by a truck is going to call their dermatologist? Maybe it’s happened. We always have to account for morons.

By the way, last week I had my annual physical — nope, I’m sorry, it was a wellness check. Puhleeeze. I did not go see a physician, I saw my health care provider. Enough already. 

I saw this the other day: “we are sadly going to have to say goodbye to….” Why do they have to do it sadly? Or is this a case in which they should have written: “sadly, we are going to have say goodbye to….” Which suggests that it a sad occasion and not that they have to write “sadly.”

I’m glad I could be of help.