I Share A Collection of Thoughts That Are Not At All Random

I'm quite concerned about the power this Simon fellow has over people, particularly children. People will do seemingly anything on his command and are sent off for committing acts that he did not order. "Simon says raise your hand" and people do it. What if this Simon fellow turns out to be in league with Osama Bin Laden? Then we're all in a spot of bother.

I'm curious about this religion or philosophy that believes that if "you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about." I want to know more about their beliefs.

I must admit to some confusion about a common expression. When someone says to you: "don't do anything I wouldn't do" how are we supposed to know everything that they would not do? Perplexing.

I think I made a mistake ten years ago when I stocked up on typewriter ribbons.

How come adults don't play tag? Or for that matter, hide and go seek?

I can't wait for the wealthiest Americans to begin using their tax breaks to start businesses that will create lots of jobs and stimulate the economy so that we'll all enjoy prosperity. America is a great country.

I'd like to reiterate a point made by the late great George Carlin. If sex between consenting adults is legal and giving someone money for services rendered is legal, why isn't prostitution legal? Do pimps have a powerful lobby that keeps politicians from even considering legalizing prostitution?

Sometimes I feel sorry for inanimate objects. Like our tea kettle. Everyday, often several times in the morning alone, it is subjected to searing heat. And don't get me started on the suffering that a toilet goes through.

I like the idea of the no fly zone that has been imposed over Libya. I just don't understand why we can't have one here. Flies are awful pests that sometimes carry disease and to prohibit them seems to make a world of sense.

Why is that no matter what you're seeing the doctor about they always start out taking your blood pressure? You could go in to settle a bill and they'd immediately have you rolling up a sleeve.

Everyone who believes in reincarnation seems to think that they were a prince or queen of explorer in a past life. No one ever says: "In a past life I was serf in 16th century Russia who died at age 21 when I fell in a river."

Brits are always referring to people as clever but you never hear Americans use the world at all. Let's change that. Speaking of words, unless you're watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, you never hear the word bashful anymore.

I often hear variations on someone having "too much time on their hands." What is the correct amount of time to have on your hands? Why isn't this posted somewhere?

Can you imagine if God had a website? Think of the FAQ section. The bio! The photos! What links to other sites would God have?

Has anyone ever rejected condolences? You always hear people say: "please accept my condolences" or sympathies. But you never hear anyone reply: no thanks.

I'm still waiting for someone to come forward with financing for my rotary mobile phone idea. Anyone? Hello! Someone?