04 July 2008

Taking the Cure

Have you ever sat down to write not knowing about what you were going to write? You just knew you needed to write something. Anything. Maybe you have feelings that need to be worked out. You can't figure out who you need to talk to – if anyone, or if talking to anyone would even help.

In my case , I know that at certain times it's easy to sink into melancholy and writing can be a way to fight my way out of it. Depression, moodiness, and melancholia are luxuries of youth. As you get older you realize that time's a wastin' My father's death a few months ago has reminded me in stark terms of mortality and the need to make the best of every second I've got.

I don't suppose that there's a higher rate of depression on July 4th than other days. It's not like Christmas or Thanksgiving or Valentine's Day, when people who are alone feel really, really alone. But anyway, here it is Independence Day and I've got the blues. Then again, I've never been very patriotic and indeed for much of my life I've been quite disappointed in this country. It's history is pretty shady, too. (I outta know, I teach U.S. History.)

Okay let's be clear on a few things. The U.S. has a racist history that includes slavery, but so do many, many other countries. The United States is a country that was stolen from native tribes by often brutal measures. Same as a lot of other countries. There is now, and often has been a huge disparity, between the richest and poorest in this country. Same as a lot of other countries. The U.S.of A. has often been overrun by greedy, corrupt self serving politicians. Just like so many other countries. The United States has welcomed and in turn exploited and discriminated against immigrants. It's not alone in this respect either. The U.S. has trampled on its own civil liberties in times of national paranoia. Same as...well you get the picture.

The difference is that the United States is the one country that constantly boasts about how bloody great it is. We are number one!!!

One, yes, one arrogant country. Relative to a lot of other countries in the world, the U.S. is quite young (232 today). It's like a teenager in a room full of adults boasting about its supposed superiority. Shut up already, the adults must be thinking. They know that it is a rule of nature and history that what goes up must come down.
Anyway, I needed to write and I did and I feel better about myself all ready. I guess in my case "write makes right."

1 comment:

robdelacruz said...

When I get into that "needed to write something" and "feelings that need to be worked out" state, I definitely find time to read a good book (or watch a movie I think I can relate to). These are the times when the mind is most open and receptive to learning new things, as the ego is down, and the inner self is looking for answers.

Realizing mortality also has its benefits as it forces us to concentrate and put all our efforts on the most important things. I know those times of depression and realization have indirectly made me into a better person.