I am sitting in a room adjoining the teacher lunchroom where sundry teachers prattle on sharing nothing evading everything dancing with somethings. Verbal sparring jarring dancing gymnastics and play. Banalities exchanged freely.
- I drink this much coffee this often.
- And I drink that much that often.
- I buy some of these every week.
- I buy them once a month.
- I sleep this long.
- I sleep that long.
How is Everybody?
- Oh and how are you?
- I’m fine.
- That’s good.
- Yes it is very good that I am fine. I like being fine.
- I like it when you’re fine and I like it when I’ m fine.
- Yes being fine is quite good. The other day I wasn’t fine.
- That is quite sad.
- Yes I didn’t like not being fine.
- I never like not being fine either.
- What are your plans?
- These are my plans.
- I like your plans they are good plans. I don’t have any myself.
- Oh that’s good too not to have plans.
- Yes it can be good to have plans and it can also be good not to have any plans at all.
- And what did you do earlier?
- I did this. What did you do?
- I didn't do anything but once I did that too.
- Did you like doing that?
- I loved doing that and I will do that again sometime.
- You should, you really should do that.
- Hey can I join in? Can I pontificate in my grating voice and establish for you how high-minded and intelligent I am?
- Okay we’ll pretend to listen while you launch into a diatribe.
- Great here is something I care about and am thus angry about because of this other related matter and here is what I believe should be done about it because I just read an article about it. Actually I just skimmed it and have a cursory understanding of the issue but feel empowered to discuss it because of my inflated sense of self.
-Yes you are self important and pretentious, as a consequence I will establish that I too have a strong opinion about something that makes me angry though I am impotent to do anything about.
- All right now I’ll pretend to listen to you as I think of how much smarter than you I am and as I plan what I will say next that somehow relates but is really an attempt to demonstrate how bright I am because --you know -- I went to college.
- Okay but I'm going to go on extra long about my thing because I'm bitter and I love the sound of my own voice.
- No one else does.
Segue into Loathing
And mostly there is the hatred. What you hate what aggravates you what gets on your nerves what you can’t fathom what you don’t tolerate what you won’t put up with. Rant. Rave. Complain onto your grave.
- I'm so angry about.
- Yes that pisses me off too.
- My expression of outrage suggests that I am knowledgeable and passionate.
- Yes that your passions are stirred about this matter is most impressive.
- I know, right?
- I too am angry. There is something that really gets on my nerves.
- Oh yes that is annoying. I share your outrage.
- This is what sophisticated people do -- bitch about things.
- I am most sophisticated of all because I bitch constantly and am always shaking my head knowingly.
- I'm going outside for a cigarette because it is the ultimate act of self loathing and I hope to die prematurely after suffering for years from the effects of smoking.
- Yes I recognize that you have that disgusting habit but I am non judgmental which is a good thing considering my issues with overeating.
- Your overeating is obvious to us all but we pretend not to notice.
- I overeat in part because my life has not turned out the way I had planned and I'm bitter.
- I'm also disappointed with the course my life has taken which is why I drink heavily on weekends.
- Well I hope you enjoy your cigarette and are able to ignore the long term effects of your addiction.
- I'm unable to ignore those effects as my breathing is labored.
- It's no wonder neither of us are in a meaningful relationship.
- I'm pretty much impotent anyway so by not being in a relationship I merely avoid the embarrassment of sexual dysfunction.
- Well catch ya later.
- Yeah it was a chore talking to you as you are so banal but I'll also close our conversation by wishing you god's speed.
People are finishing eating and talking and thus giving their mouths' a rest for a bit. It's been my pleasure to tune out today's conversations through the magic of my iPod. It's unlikely that I missed anything. Although I kind of wonder what Barbara is doing this weekend and what Garrett thinks of the mayor and I wonder if Lena is caught up on Game of Thrones yet.
Hey, ya miss school ya miss out.