21 July 2014

I Shave Magazines and Dollar Bills

Hey I got another unsolicited email that was just a thinly disguised attempt to take advantage of my blog for commercial purposes. The sender clearly perceived me as possessing a gullible and stupid nature. I offer said email and my response. Of course I have redacted the name of the company so that they don't benefit a wit from me.

Hi Richard, 

I'm Tracey, the community manager for REDACTED.com. Here at REDACTED it's our mantra to help people Shave Time and Shave Money. That's why we've created the best razors in the world for the lowest prices around. (Oh, in case you haven't heard of us or seen our viral video, we're the members only club that delivers the best quality razors and grooming supplies for a few bucks a month.) 

Unlike you, not all of us are savvy deal sleuths and time management experts. As a result, we're asking an elite group of influential bloggers like you to create a post on your blog about other ways you "shave time and/or shave money" in everyday life. At REDACTED, we are committed to shaving time and money for our members every single day, and we love to share our favorite posts on social media! 

Let me know ASAP if you are interested! 

Chat Soon, 


Hi Tracey with an “e.” First of all congratulations on developing the best razors in the world and offering them for a low price. You are so cool to do that. Speaking of cool..I love your mantra. How often do y’all say it?

I do have a question however, who the hell told you I was a “savvy deal sleuth and time management expert?” I’ve been trying to keep that under wraps for years. But hey if the secret is out whattaya gonna do? Am I right?

Actually I have a second question: am I really part of “an elite group of influential bloggers”? If so no one is sending me the newsletters or telling me when and where the meetings are. I’d also like to see a list of the other members of the club. If they’re just a bunch of creeps I want out.

But you were asking how I shave time and money. Simple. Every week when my copy of the magazine comes I lay it on a table with all my paper currency. Then I simply apply shaving cream, get out my razor and shave both at the same time. It’s a great time saver! Truthfully though it does seem a bit silly as neither Time magazine nor U.S. dollars of any denomination grown whiskers. It is, however, a blast.

I hope you share my ideas with others, Tracey with an “e.” I can’t wait to “chat soon.” What’ll we talk about though? The crisis in the Gaza? Mounting tensions between Russia and Ukraine? Or how about the slipshod marketing techniques by second rate companies?
You pick!



Anonymous said...

Seen way worse than that. Anything wrong with saying 'no thanks' ?

Richard Hourula said...

I can see why you'd want to hide behind anonymity to make a lame ass comment like that.
There is nothing wrong with saying 'no thanks' and in fact I'm going to henceforth say 'no thanks ' to all anonymous comments unless they are slobbering all over me with unrestrained praise.

Stefanie Howerton said...

I'm with Anonymous, and I choose to make this comment public and tied to my account so that you can't throw me under the bus for maintaining anonymity while online.

I received the same email for my blog, and, while I was a little reticent to do the "selling out" thing, I eventually went the "why the hell not?" route and plan to write my post at some point over the next week or so.

I don't get your hostility at all. They are attempting to grow their business by reaching out to bloggers who might be able to help them do so; can't knock them for that.

Additionally, if they choose to share your post with their viewers on their website, then that brings extra eyes to your own blog that may have never had the opportunity to do so otherwise. In my opinion, it's a win/win.

You're entitled to your own opinion and you most certainly don't have to participate if you don't want to, but there's no need to spew negativity-ridden vitriol simply for the purposes of maintaining your snarky, angry online persona.

Good luck in your future ventures, and I truly hope you learn to view the world and its inhabitants in a better light.

Richard Hourula said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Richard Hourula said...

Throw you under the bus? Jeezus I hardly need to do that, you just did a swan dive under it. But good for you for speaking your mind — and not anonymously — and also for deciding to participate in the “win/win” little venture. Bully for you.

Clearly darling you and I are different people of different generations (I have daughters your age) with very different ways of interacting in the world. I think that a fair assessment. But you did offer a comment on my blog that in turn warrants a response.

First of all you don’t know a goddamned thing about how I view the world and its inhabitants which given my experiences is quite positive and hopeful although people like you test that.If I can teach in an inner city school for over 20 years and still greet the dawn with a smile then I guess I’m doing all right.

Your charge that I maintain a “snarky angry online persona” betrays your own myopic, blinkered view of the world. And sister if I want to “spew negativity-ridden vitriol” you’ll know it. Your inability to detect sarcasm is shocking for someone who supposedly made it past the third grade. (I mean Belmont College…is that even accredited?). It just blows my mind that you assail me for my “hostility.” Really? Hostile? I was just having fun. If I was going to be hostile I’d have published the name of the company.

I would like to thank you for acknowledging that I am entitled to my own opinion. Imagine the inflated sense of self required to make such a statement. I’ve been having and giving my own opinion for many decades now and never needed a go-ahead from anybody.

I think you might do well to stay away from my blog. Obviously people who strive to either use over the top sarcasm to make a point or write the truth as they see it are too upsetting for you. Worst of all, instead of just accepting that they think differently than you do, you start name-calling. Grow up a little before you mouth off like that.