Expressions, Thoughts, Words, Humor A Delightful Mishmash

Tessa Thompson, because it's her birthday today

One day last week at around 4:30 someone said to me: “have a nice rest of the day.” It got me to wondering what is the cut off point? Certainly in the AM hours we would still encourage people to have a full on “nice day.” This should extend into the early afternoon. I’m guessing somewhere around 3:00 too much of the day is gone for having a nice day to have much meaning. But then when do we start with “have a nice evening?” Certainly by 5:00. I think there’s a small window for a “have a nice rest of the day.” Actually I could do without it entirely. It’s like saying, “well, you’ve pretty much shot most of the day, try to make something of the rest of it.”

One Sunday at around 5:00 my wife and I were checking out at a grocery store. The checker cheerily said, “have a nice weekend.” Uhh, excuse me, young lady, that ship has long since sailed. In fact wishing someone a nice weekend ends at dusk on Saturday by which time most of the weekend — certainly the best part of it — is over. 

I once got this: “have an awesome weekend.” Hold on there, son, that’s way too much pressure. I can handle “nice” or “good” but to pull off an “awesome” weekend is a difficult feat. You don’t just hand those out like candy. 

If calling various medical offices has taught me anything it’s that if I’m having a medical emergency I should hang up and dial 9-1-1. Every time I call a medical professional the voice mail greeting begins, “you have reached such-and-such office, if you’re having a medical emergency, hang up and dial nine-one-one.” Thanks, for the tip. I’ve gotten this message when calling cardiology offices, my GP, psychiatrists, dermatologists and podiatrists. 

No one ever shoves off anymore. You also rarely hear people say they’re going to “take off.” Saying “I’m going to split” has similarly fallen out of fashion.

Ever hear people say they’d like to be a fly on the wall for such-and-such conversation? Not me. Being a fly would suck for more reasons than I have the desire to enumerate.

Which is better to receive: high praise, plaudits, encomiums, hosannahs, acclimation, acclaim, hurrahs, commendations or kudos? All are nice but I think I prefer cash rewards.

It doesn’t seem as though Brits say cheerio much anymore. More’s the pity.

One expression I’m glad to see fading away is: “don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Which often came with the addendum, “and if you do, do it better.” Too vague. Please specify those things you “wouldn’t do.” Are we talking drugs, alcohol, sex, reckless physical endeavors? I'm  only left to wonder.

Speaking of vague: “have a good one!” A good what? Would it kill you to specify. One assumes you mean have a good day or weekend but it that’s the case why not say it?

I’m having surgery on Thursday to have a pacemaker shoved into my chest. Here’s something I’m expecting to be told by well-meaning people: “we’ll be thinking of you” or “you’ll be in our thoughts.” But what exactly you’ll be thinking and what thoughts you’ll have are left unsaid. Oh well, it’s the thought that counts. 

Have a good one, everybody!