02 September 2016

I Have More Questions

I had a bunch of questions a few months ago. Now I've got some more.

Things ebb and flow. Do they ever just ebb?

People toss and turn at night but do they ever just toss or just turn?

Why is there always flotsam and jetsam? Do they always come together? Is there never just flotsam?

Isn’t “my bad” just an impolite way of saying, “I’m sorry”?

According to the Cole Porter song: “Birds do it, bees do it Even educated fleas do it” Where do fleas get an education? What do they study?

Why do people care if a pro football player didn’t stand for the national anthem? Is it really so sacred?

If the national anthem is sacred, why is it played before every sports event? Shouldn't it be saved for special occasions.

Why isn’t the anthem played before movies, plays, ballet, the opera, rock concerts? Are only sports fans patriotic?

Doesn’t the anthem lose a lot of its meaning if you hear it all the damned time?

Do people who say “no worries” really believe I have multiple worries?

Why are there still people who take Donald Trump seriously? Are they all people with double digit IQs?

Are all World War II films required to call the medic Doc?

Are all wagon train films required to call the cook, Cookie?

Has anyone outside of a movie ever really said, “you’ll learn to love me”?

Also aren’t “I don’t want any trouble” and “you lookin’ for trouble?” usually just said in movies?

And have you ever heard anyone outside of a movie say: “this is bigger than the both of us”? Or, “it’s quiet, too quiet.”

Isn’t the phrase “try to understand” said in moves more often than in “real life.”

Why do people who say “when you get out in the real world” think some parts of the world are unreal? Isn’t it all real?

Why don’t people say “make it snappy” anymore? Also why don’t people still say “aww, skip it”?

Whatever became of the word “bashful”? You never hear it anymore.

Are double amputees people who paid an arm and a leg for something?

Why can’t we have a pop singer today who is even half as good as Michael Jackson was?

Why do American politicians insist on saying that the United States is the greatest country in the world and our military has the bravest fighting men and women? Doesn't that make the US look like arrogant, insecure braggarts to the rest of the world?

Why don't drinks come in small sizes anymore? The small at Starbucks is called a tall.

Why is that the small sizes of candies like M&Ms are called "fun size"? What's fun about it?

What would happen if when a clerk asked you, "did you find everything okay?" you said "no, I had a devil of a time finding this stuff"?

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