The Next Drink Was on Me and in Me and of Me -- Golden Memories

"I still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste
was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test"
-- From Changes by David Bowie

Ever been hammered? I mean totally out of it? Looped? Bombed? Incoherent and gone man gone? Been shit faced? Feeling no pain? Three sheets to the wind? Yeah you know what I’m talking about. And you acting all innocent when it is precisely your experiences I’m writing about. The way you used to power down the brewskis and steadily sip the scotch then snort the line then mellow it all out by getting all toked up on some serious Panama Red. And trying to hit on some chick but you can’t really because the words come out all out of order and jumbled and you’re giggling and there’s too much perspiration in your armpits and you can’t remember how you got to the bar and who with except that one dude looks kinda familiar and oh yeah hey he’s like your roommate and where did that chick go you were just talking to and might as well get a beer and there’s a bunch of crumpled dollar bills in your pocket and shit there’s already a beer in your hand and goddamned the lights are bright in this bar except they’re not they’re like really dim. Or in between shit it don’t matter and maybe you can talk to some other chick and is that a chick or a dude over there and well hello I do know that girl over there she’s Kayla’s sister and is hot but doesn’t she have a boyfriend and better chug that beer and then get another one and did the room just spin or was that the inside of my hand and what the hell is Kayla’s sister’s name and oh man she’s walking over to me smiling and yes I better get my shit together but quick and she said hello and do you remember me I’m Kayla’s sister Courtney and that is so awesome cause now I know her name and so I better tell her mine and I actually forgot it for a second and giggle/snorted but come up with “yeah I’m Richard” And she’s all like I know and she laughs like I’m trying to be funny and I go with it and I’m not really a stoner and should never smoke weed and I like start thinking about the high I’m on instead of talking to this totally bodacious chick named...Courtney! Good for me I remember and now I’m confident and it helps that the band has stopped playing and there’s a David Bowie song I know on -- or shit I’m just remembering that song from yesterday -- no for sure its playing and and and I did hear it yesterday or today. How weird is that? And thank god Courtney is talking but I say some some shit too and check out her legs which are really totally perfect legs and thank you for wearing such a short fucking skirt and shit what if she likes me? Right idiot why else did she come over and talk to me and there’s Dennis who I came here with and he’s talking to some buddies and things are getting clearer and I’m super high but together and I can talk to this Courtney chick and fuck the hangover I’m going to have tomorrow I mean why would I even think about that? So Courtney and I are talking and and she’s smiling and we have a lot in common without me even faking it.
We get more drinks. Then more. I’m totally fucking blasted now but keeping it together because -- what’s this chick’s name? -- digs me and where the hell are my legs? What was in that coke and that weed? Man did someone spike my drink? And where’s that chick I was talking too and where am I? And what time is it and why am I seeing the sun and oh my god my head it’s like my brain was poured out and replaced by molten lava and I’ve got my jeans on and am laying -- sort of -- on the sofa. Least I’m at home but wait what happened with Courtney? And I cannot get that high again that’s ridiculous. Shit it’s only 9:00 or is already 9:00 I don’t know. Only. Already. It just is I guess and it’s Saturday so I don’t think I need to be anywhere. What the fuck is in my pocket? One dollar just one and a paper with...Courtney’s phone number! Score! I will be fucking calling her later. It’s in HER handwriting but I sure as shit wish I remembered what the hell happened last night and this may be one of those deals where I never know least I made it home and if I got her number then it can’t be bad. But no way can I get that loaded again. Got to take her easy.
Six hours later I was sitting in the backyard drinking beer and getting ready to light up a joint with my roomies. Onwards and upwards my man.
Yeah that was totally you so don’t be all in denial and pretending that you don’t know. You know. You. You were there.