20 October 2010

Movie Titles Available, All You've Got to Do is Ask (And Pony Up Some Dough)

I've tried but I just don't see myself writing a film script. Hell, it's all I can do to maintain a film blog. But I can come up with film titles. This is not so easily done and as the folks in marketing will tell you it is key to selling a picture. So I've exercised my modest talents to come up with some ready made titles. It's up to the rocket scientists in Hollywood (I'm kidding of course, there are a bunch of idiots) to take advantage of my labors. Here are 21 film titles applicable to the standard fare that Hollywood churns out like so much spam. Anyone interested in one of these for their next blockbuster or bomb simply email me and we'll discuss terms. I know what a good title is worth to a film so don't think you can snooker me. (And I prefer cash.) Because movie execs are not the brightest lads in the world (there's an understatement) I've also offered some ideas for the type of film each title could be used for. Dig in.

Lethal Margin You could make this a cop film, or pile on the special films for an action feature.

XTreme Man The definitive action super hero film. No one, but no one can get the best of someone called XTreme Man. And you know how he does everything? To the extreme>

Death Ray Outer space. Explosions. I'm spit balling here...how about a giant laser?

Tex Lucy and the Terror Train I've done half your work by coming up with the title, the rest should be a piece of cake.

Brother's Keeper Just off the top of my head I'm thinking this is a drama with a pair of siblings. Life lessons learned that sort of thing.

Harbor City Hokies This would be the the story of a rag tap assemblage of misfits who magically come together under a gruff but lovable coach for one magical season.

Triplets! Hilarious complications ensue when a mismatched pair not only have a baby but three at once!

The Wedding Caterer We've already had films about just plain old weddings, and about a wedding singer and a wedding planner so this must be next.

Demon Pirates of Tangiers You've got the title, the movie practically writes itself, get to work fellas.

Heart of Candy Maybe an indy film. An offbeat love story set against the harsh backdrop of meth country.

Ghost Caller We clearly need more films in which people encounter and talk to ghosts. This has got to be in the offing.

Never Man You can go a million ways with a title like this. Could be anything from a Sci Fi thriller to the dramatic story of a man's mid life crisis.

Rock and Darcy They're a lovable duo. Could be a hetero teen couple, maybe gay, maybe a girl and her dog. The possibilities are endless.

Johnny Best My first thought is guitar wielding country boy, but then again this could be a super hero or the sun of short time Beatle Pete Best.

Glitz A rollicking musical!

Switchblade 2 This presupposes that someone first makes a slasher film called Switchblade. I'm thinking any day now.

The Poke-Along Gang Finally a movie for the kids that the whole family can enjoy. The darling misadventures of...You get the idea.

Fantastic Beloved If you've got a simply AMAZING love story with a hint of the mystical, here's your title.

Steel Magnum The perfect cop action movie title.

Attack of the Killer Otters Admittedly this one's a long shot but just in case.

Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood A ridiculous title I know but...what's that? I'm being told this has already been used. You're kidding right? What moron would call a movie -- aw, skip it!

No comments: