Starlet Claudia Cardinale around the time I was dating her.
One of the highlights of the month will be a retrospective of the great French director Jaques Dijon who in the Sixties created such comedy classics as For Whom the Telephone Rings, Make Mine a Double and Pierre Buys a Baguette. A master of comic timing, Dijon’s movies were noted for both their slapstick and commentary on contemporary mores. Tragically, Dijon died at age 47 after a wrestling match over escargot got out of hand.
We’ll be exploring the short-lived sitcom, Fly, There’s a Waiter in My Soup. This one-season wonder was the first and thus far only TV series in which the main character is the wacky neighbor. A young Dustin Hoffman played, Burgie, a hopelessly inept brain surgeon and polo enthusiast who constantly fouls up his neighbor’s parties, barbecues and holiday gatherings. Who can forget the timeless catchphrase, “Oh no, here comes, Burgie."
On the serious side we’ll have a two part post on restless leg syndrome. You’ll get an insight into this scourge through interviews with sufferers as well as an in-depth look at the ongoing research. We’ll also tell you how you can help be part of the solution to this going problem (hint: donations are needed!).
Of course with Christmas coming we’ll be turning our attention to some of the more obscure yet still beloved Yuletide films such as: A Very Mohammad Christmas, The Glittery Gay Marriage of Vixen and Blitzen, Christmas in the Congo and Under the Mistletoe — A Betty Boop Christmas.
Speaking of December 25th, we’ll also be giving tips on picking the perfect Christmas, proper holly placement, imaginative egg nog recipes and building a snowman in the rain.
Also in the works is a review of the latest blockbuster: “A Well-Known Comic Book Character Triumphs over an Arch Enemy in a Dramatic Concluding Battle and Finds Love in the Millionth Iteration of a Well-Worn Story.” The title may be a bit wordy but — spoiler — it captures the essence of the picture.
In order for readers to better know the blogger I’ll publishing full unexpurgated transcripts of my therapy sessions. Should make for entertaining reading and give us all a good laugh.
I may even have a tell-all post about my romance with Italian actress Claudia Cardinale (pictured above) who I dated in the early sixties.
I’ll also be reminiscing about my days in the military with a particular focus on when I was a submarine captain. This will include the madcap incident when I ran the sub aground in Bolivia. I’ll also share memories of raising the flag at Iwo Jima. What a day!
We’ll of course be taking a look ahead to Oscar season and our predictions about who will get unnecessarily angry about what. There’ll be a particular emphasis on selective outrage and overwrought egos. Should be fun.
You can also accept a salute to those lovely souls who come to the theaters with grocery bags full of food that they rifle through while the rest of us are trying to watch the damn movie. We’ll also celebrate the people who come late and our favorites, people who talk during the feature.
Finally we’ll be ending the month with a list of our favorite films, TV shows, books, sports events, impeachable offenses, acts of corruption, international laws violated, insulting comments directed towards reporters by the president and insanely stupid comments from the commander in chief. That last one will probably have to be in three or four parts.
So stick with us. December is going to be a great month at Streams of Unconsciousness. Remember for only $500 a month you can become a premium reader. This earns you discounts at the Streams gift shop, a free subscription to the monthly newsletter and access to exclusive behind-the-scenes looks at the inner workings here at Streams. Have a great month everybody!
