New News and Notes for the New Year

Streams of Unconsciousness Headquarters

It figures to be a big year here at Streams of Unconsciousness. Visitors will immediately note that we’ve installed new carpeting in the reception area. There’s nothing like a plush purple shag rug to say: “welcome, to our home.” You’ll also note that new garden gnomes festoon the outdoor walkways between buildings. The outer facade of the Streams Museum is being restored to its antebellum style without losing any of its old world charm. The fountains will all be given a spit shine and the topiary has already been expanded and includes shrubbery in the shapes of our longest serving staff members.

But not all the changes our cosmetic. We’ll be adding an additional gift shops, one at the mezzanine level and another near the restaurant on the museum roof. We’ve already expanded our offerings in all the shops with Streams tee-shirts and sweatshirts now coming in a greater variety of colors. You may have noticed that we’re featuring new items such as Streams saddles, beer steins, sand blasters riding crops and catheters. 

The Streams restaurant has expanded its menu to include such delicacies as borscht, Hungarian Goulash, dim sum and curds and whey. Also the first floor cafe will be open all night for your convenience. 

There have been personnel changes at Streams as well. Our long time ombudsmen Angus Puddle is moving over to a new role replacing our outgoing lighthouse keeper, Mendy McMohmmad who is retiring. Filling the vacancy thus created will be a recent community college graduate and former high school hall monitor, Escobar Montooth. Meanwhile the Streams legal team will be adding veteran barrister and former psych ward patient, Bob Goodenough. Our longtime switchboard operator Jezebel Spawn is moving on to greener pastures (the gardening team) and will be replaced by Lance Corporal Titus Percocet. 

Please join us in welcoming the new members of the Streams family!

Readers can look forward to new features on the blog itself. We’ll be presenting and analyzing poetry from the Bronze Age, a much anticipated feature that’s long been in the works. We’ll be taking a deep dive into musicals from the silent era, complete with audio. Our writing team will be keeping a close eye on the coming emergence of computers for home use, a burgeoning industry that could change the way in which you do everything from communicate with friends to watch movies. And by the way, your rotary phone could soon be obsolete!

In repose to the many requests we’ve received I will be live blogging some of the exploits of the Streams bird watchers. Can’t wait.

Streams sports teams will continue to be in action. The sumo wrestling team is currently undefeated with a tough conference slate ahead. The polo season is just around the corner and we’re looking to improve on last year’s .500 record. Finally, the Streams synchronized swimming will be led by a new coach, Mandy Applecheeks from our marketing team.

Lastly, Streams will continue to sponsor concerts at the Travis Bickle Pavillion here in Moosejaw. Later this month Paul McCartney, Beyonce and Taylor Swift will be appearing (good seats are still available but act fast as this one might sell out). February will be highlighted by a performance by the Moosejaw Middle School Glee Club. The bad news is that it has sold out, the good news is that a second show will be added. Details coming soon.

We hope to see you here at Streams headquarters in the coming year. Tours are available daily and the museum is open daily except for Thanksgiving and Christmas Day from 9-6. A new Ramada Inn less than a ten minute walk away. Check it out!

Thanks for all the lovely cards we received over the holidays. We’re trying to respond to them and all subpoenas served as fast as we can. 

And finally, The warning that I received, you may take with however many grains of salt you wish, that the brown acid that is circulating around us, is specifically not too good. It's suggested that you do stay away from that; of course, it's your own trip, so, be my guest.

Happy New Year!!!