Meet Some of the Wonderful People Who Work at Streams Of Unconsciousness Headquarters

Some of SOU gang taking a break earlier today.

For the entire existence of this blog I have been the lone name associated with Streams. This hardly seems fair as there are hundreds of people working tirelessly behind the scenes to make this internationally-renowned blog so rich in insightful and fascinating content. So today I’m going to — in a small way — try to right a wrong by introducing you, dear readers, to a few of the key members of the Streams of Unconsciousness team. I’ve decided to recognize a variety of types of workers representing different facets of blog production. So here then, are some long overdue shout-outs to some of the SOU team.

Meet Lane Caterwaul our head of marketing. Lane is a graduate of Anthony Perkins Middle School in Dunsmuir, California. He’s been with the team for eleven years having joined us after a stint with the Bulgarian Air Force. Lane started as an assistant to an associate marketer and worked his way up through perseverance, determination and back stabbing. He is popular with everyone and, with his wife Hortense, hosts monthly Full House marathons. Lane is an avid whaler who also plays the kettle drum for his church choir.

Meet Mildred Papsmear our long-time archivist. Millie, as she is affectionately known, is an original member of the SOU team having started as a receptionist. Within a year she’d moved to the nursing staff, then two years later to a position in sales before taking a year off to study archiving at Colorado School of Mines. She’s been our archivist ever since and is a damn good one. In her spare time Millie enjoys finger painting and pottery. She is also an accomplished pole dancer and stripper.

Meet Muhammad Goldberg from guests services. Mo, as he is affectionately known, joined us in 2016 after seven years at the Central Intelligence Agency. He’s a popular figure around SOU headquarters, always smiling and ready with a quip. Mo is also identifiable for having a peg leg, the result of boating accident when he was in college. Mo likes to spend his free time skeet shooting or with his stamp collection. He is one of several philatelists on staff.

From Saturday night's Xmas dance

Meet Cherry Berry our head of security. Cherry came aboard only last March but has already become a much beloved member of the crew. She runs a tight ship and we feel all the more secure for her strong presence. But  Cherry’s sense of humor may be her most distinguishing characteristic. Cherry is an accomplished ventriloquist (along with her “dummy” Sedgwick) and does a variety of spot-in impersonations. Cherry also loves to tango — all you have to do is ask!

Meet Periwinkle Snodgrass director of protocol. Though officious, proper and precise, Periwinkle is known to cut loose at staff social gatherings, especially on the dance floor (Cherry’s not our only tango lover). Periwinkle came to us in 2011 after a gig with the British Embassy in France. He is fluent in six languages (including Iroquois!). In his spare time, Periwinkle plays the tuba and holds seances (not at the same time!).

Meet Huldah St. John from our legal department. Huldah holds degrees from Georgetown University, the Sorbonne and Trump University. In addition to being a legal eagle (and a darn good one at that!), Huldah is in charge of snacks for the executive committee. Huldah is a nudist and a taxidermist though she rarely practices both at the same time. Look for her upcoming book, “The Law and How to Work Around It Without Getting Caught.” Good luck with the book, Huldah!

Meet Benjamin Bonhomie our head chef. Suffice to say BB (as he is known) is always cooking up something special for us. Whether it’s another delicious entree for lunch or one of his hilarious practical jokes (a donkey in the yoga room!) BB is a favorite. We were fortunate enough to have BB join us in 2018 straight out of Harriet and Moe’s Culinary School in Minot, South Dakota. In addition to being a gourmet chef, Double B (as he is also known) loves to play the harpsichord. Double BB is married to Pippa Bonhomie who works in accounting. Together they have eleven children including three sets of triplets.

And finally meet Celeste Cissbombah, my girl friday. Celeste has been my numero uno assistant for four years and I can’t imagine how I ever got along without her. When she’s not getting me through another work day, Celeste loves deep sea diving, collecting vintage French postcards and perfecting her dizzying array of bird calls. Celeste is also a hypochondriac, insomniac and black belt in karate.

Before I sign off I'd like to recognize everyone in research and development, led by Conroy McElroy; everyone at the accounting staff led by Ned Normal; our entire legal team; the gang in sales; our terrific custodial staff; the housing staff; the personnel crew led by Mia Ashtabula; all our secretaries, receptionists, administrative assistants, Rodion Raskolnikov our spiritual guru and our editors and proofreaders led by Mick Mussolini and Minnie Tannenbaum. Thanks everybody!