Idiots in Saunas, Words Can Describe, Loud Arguments, Conversation Styles, Ordering at Restaurants and on Dressing Well

You never know what you're going to see when you go into an American sauna. Yesterday at the Y it was some idiot shadow boxing. I'm serious. Americans are fucking crazy. I've also seen one wing nut wearing ear buds blasting music so loudly everyone can hear it. Lots of clowns hang their dirty clothes in the sauna which is just disgusting. Once there was a guy rapping. Some morons do sit ups or other exercises apparently not realizing that's what the rest of the fucking gym is for. You know what Finns do in a sauna? Sit and sweat. Sometimes talk. I know, weird, right? Speaking of the gym. I was recently running on a treadmill when a young man got on the one next to me. I had a half an hour left in my run. For that entire 30 minutes this young athlete walked slowly (that's generous, it was damn near standing still) and looked at his goddamned cell phone. When I got off the treadmill -- bathed in sweat, mind you -- I said, "don't overdo it there, buddy." Course the lad didn't hear me because he had his earbuds in. Some people.

Speaking of at the gym...I overhear a lot of conversations, especially in the locker room. I chat with a few people, but they are all people I know from somewhere else. A lot of gym goers strike up friendships. I'm socially shy and consider my trips to the gym a time to work out so that's my focus.
Usually one person initiates the conversation, what's interesting is how the other person responds.  You have the quipster who looks for a wisecrack to respond to anything. He's clearly uncomfortable talking but doesn't realize it. You have the cynic who looks for the negative in any situation. Improvements are being planned he's told, "there'll probably be a lot of delays -- as usual," he replies. There's the narcissist who makes every conversation about his favorite topic, himself. All three of these types either kill the conversation or stall it's momentum or turn it away from its original intent. But there is also a fourth type, the conversationalist. This is a chap who responds to the topic presented giving it due weight. He knows how to listen and be respectful of fellow conversationalists.  At times he will make a quip, cynical remark or talk about himself but in a way that is appropriate to the conversation and helps continue it. I like those people.

How many times have you read or heard a sentence like this: "There are no words to describe...." My response is, "yes, there are, there are plenty of words." That's what language is, a way to communicate, a way to "put into words" thoughts, feelings, reactions, descriptions. The Second Edition of the 20-volume Oxford English Dictionary contains full entries for 171,476 words in current use. That should be plenty. No excuses, find the words, put them together in sentences and express yourself. Don't take the coward's way out and claim no words exist. Hell, make up a word if you have to.

I was reading an article in the New York Times about a murder and came across something really interesting. According to the article, witnesses heard a “loud verbal argument” prior to the shooting. The specification that this loud argument was “verbal” is what intrigued me. I had never imagined that a written argument or one using sign language could be loud. Evidently they can. Why else would one specify that this loud argument was verbal? Perhaps a written argument can be loud if someone is typing vigorously or writing with such passion that the pen on paper on writing surface create a cacophony. Maybe an argument in sign language can be noisy too if the opposing parties are incorporating quite animated gesticulation in their signing. Perhaps these matters deserve further investigation.

Recently the missus and I were in NY and DC and as one is often compelled to do while traveling we ate out for virtually every meal. One thing I like about dining at restaurants is that I seem to make such excellent selections from the menu. I know this because a neutral party -- the waitress or waiter --- will tell me so. "Good choice," I'm told, or, merely, "excellent" or from younger servers "awesome." And while I often receive kudos for wise choice I have yet to have a server blanch or shake their head or throw up in their mouth or even so much say, "I wouldn't get that if I were you." I must be damn good at picking food to eat.

I'm a bit of dinosaur when it comes to some things. For example when we went to a play in New York and the next evening to a high end restaurant, unlike most men in attendance I was wearing nice clothes. I'd have gladly included a tie in my ensemble if I hadn't already realize it would have made me over dressed. I grew up in an era when men put on a tie for virtually any indoor social occasion. I  saw men at the theater wearing shorts. I'm the only male at my school who wears a tie (not to mention a buttoned down shirt, slacks and in my case, loafers. I'm actually not too crazy about casual Friday --I dress better on casual Friday then most of my colleagues do the rest of the week). Times have changed and in this respect I intend to stay well behind them and look my best. In the same vein I've also noticed a dramatic increase in the number of men who wear sandals. (I have never and will never own a pair.) When I was growing up men generally only wore sandals on really hot days, something we had very few of in the Bay Area, or while at the beach. Today men wear sandals regardless of the weather. I've seen gents trodding about in sandals on rainy days. For the life of me I don't understand this trend. Also I don't like it. Who the hell wants to see a man's feet? I'll continue to spare the world mine.