05 May 2014

Soulwork



“Such things are for idiots, hypocrites and mad charlatans of the soul.” -  From the Journals of Jack Kerouac. 

I swear to you that I walked to the BART station this morning but I’ll be damned if I remember it. Did drop a Netflix DVD in the mailbox and remember that. Remember a blonde woman who walked by me at the station while I waited for the train because she was pretty and not one of the usuals that I see. I remember the guy whose lips moves while he reads the bible was in his usual spot on the train but just sitting and not reading. Did he forget his bible? The train was a little more crowded than usual and a big fella near me was snoring and some guy sat next to me.

I had a pleasantly short wait for the trolley and a non eventful ride which allowed me to read without undue disturbance. Popped into the Walgreens by the stop and got some yogurts for the week because the missus hadn't picked any up during her weekend shopping. Oh well.

After settling in at work I went to Starbucks for a coffee. On the way back I held the door of the school open for a co-worker and she didn’t so much as look at me let alone say thank you. Next time I’ll slam the door in her ungrateful mug.

It was the start of another new term -- they only last five or six weeks -- so I had new sets of students. I like meeting new students and introducing myself and telling them how I like to run a class and showing them how cool and fun I am. I love seeing the recognition in their eyes that I know what I’m doing and won’t let them get bored and I have a sense of humor.

I don’t have an inflated sense of myself but I also don’t bother with self deprecation or false modesty. In their own ways they are worse sins of pride than merely acknowledging the truth about yourself even if it is positive. I’ve fucked up enough in my life and recognized said errors enough that I’m entitled to pat myself on the back just so long as I don’t over do it. That’s a tough trick. I spent the first two thirds of my life taking victory laps for any half accomplishment I managed.

Monday will prove to be my busiest day of the week this term which suits me fine as it means I get it out of the way first thing. Today was particularly hectic (I paused after typing the word “hectic” because its a term my late brother used a lot and so too does at least one of his children so I was reminded of him and how I miss him) because it was the first day of the term and because I had to get things ready for a teacher who’s subbing for my morning class tomorrow because I’ve got a doctor’s appointment because I need to see the doctor to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. That’s actually a question people have been asking pretty much since I was born, hey.

Today is oldest daughter’s birthday which means it’s the wife and my 26th anniversary of being parents. But do we receive gifts or cards? Course not. They all go to my kid. She’s a wonderful person and the fact that I had anything to do with this human being turning out so well proves that I’ve done okay in this life. She’s got a younger sister who provides still more evidence that I’ve not been a total loss. So yeah I can teach a little bit and I can parent a bit and if you’re reading this maybe you don’t think I’m the worst writer to ever string words together.

I notice I do better when I keep myself busy even when the being busy is something like meditating or watching The Simpsons. It’s not a problem to keep the old noodle occupied what with so much to write and read and see and running to do and what not. Love that what not. But I’m getting close to rambling which I don’t want to write anymore than you want to read. But I’ll add a plug for a film I saw last Saturday. I started to write about yesterday and here’s as far as I got:

A man driving for two hours makes and receives a series of phone calls. That’s it That’s your movie. There are no crimes no crashes no supernatural no nudity or sex. Aside from voices we really only see the driver. The film is called Locke and it was directed by and stars Tom Hardy as the the title character Ivan Locke and it is utterly compelling.

Locke is a married man with two boys but eight months ago he fathered a child out of wedlock. It was a one night stand the only such occurrence in his married life. He is driving to be with the woman as she gives birth as she has no one else and he feels responsible. He will do the right thing even at the possible cost of his job marriage and home. He’s embarked on this journey on one of the biggest days of his professional life to the utter astonishment of his boss.

I had no idea what the film was about and I might have hesitated about going if I had known. I would have missed a gem. It is remarkable how well we get to know Ivan Locke. He is a successful professional...

So I stopped there for one reason or another and never got back to it and its unlikely that I ever will but suffice to say I liked it and so did a co-worker who also saw it last Saturday. Not the co-worker who I held the door open for who didn't say thanks or anything. She can go stuff it.


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