01 June 2010

Yet Another Edition of News & Notes from Streams of Unconsciousness

From the staff Memorial Day picnic.
Many have you asked and we have listened. We are proud to have recently installed a new and improved calliope on the main grounds here at Streams of Unconsciousness headquarters. You'll hear the improvement.

We have a new hire in our accounting department, we're proud to welcome aboard Wally Bin Laden. Yes, he's kin to the notorious terrorist. In fact, he's Osama's baby brother. Fortunately, Wally does not share his sibling's rather extreme political views. And he hastens to add that, other than a powerful hatred for Western Culture, Osama is "just a regular guy."

Two other recent hires are my nephews Geronimo and Ludwig (I'll hear no charges of nepotism, these are two highly qualified lads). They'll be working in research and development -- or as we call it here, R & D.

Some of you noted that there were no new posts for seven days last week. In answer to the thousands of queries here's the explanation for the absence: I was mauled by bengal tiger while on safari! I'm okay now having applied generous quantities of robitussin to my wounds.

Remember that for only $29.95 a month you can attain a premium membership at Streams of Unconsciousness. Privileges include access to exclusive content, use of the parking lot directly adjacent to the main building, ten per cent discount on all Streams of Unconsciousness merchandise and meet and greats with some of your favorite Streams of Unconsciousness staffers.

The grand opening of the Streams of Unconsciousness museum is scheduled for June 26. Angela Lansbury and Russell Brand will co-perform the ribbon cutting!

Our merchandising department has asked me to let everyone know that Streams of Unconsciousness pink hoodies for ladies are back in stock and we've got plenty in all sizes.

The hospitality suite on the second floor has been refurbished. Check it out next time you're by.

Hey! Have you tried the shrimp scampi in the Streams of Unconsciousness Grotto? Mmmmmm.....

Remember, all summer kids under 12 get in free, if accompanied by an adult.

June 7-13 is Restless Leg Syndrome Awareness Week. Half of all proceeds from Streams of Unconsciousnessthat week will go to fight this dreaded ailment. Please give generously.

Mark this on your calender: August 1 is bobblehead day at Streams of Unconsciousness. The first 30,000 customers that day receive a free bobblehead. Don't miss out!

We've been asked several times where the second anniversary bash was held (see the pics in this post from last month.) It was at the Hyatt Regency Moosejaw, Saskatchewan. It's hard to imagine a more glamorous locale. If you're ever in the area, check it out!

Have a great summer everyone. Remember to drive carefully and give a friend a hug!!!!

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