You've Got to Have It!

I own a lot of DVDs. A mess of em. A ton. A bushel. Scads. Oodles. Plenty. A generous amount. A goodly sum. A wealth. An abundance. A slew. A surfeit. A plenitude. Loads. A raft. A profusion. A pile. Yet there are so many more I want. No, no no, not merely want. Need. Oh to be rich. (Today I'd settle for solvent.)

But here's the other pickle about owning a DVD (aside from never, ever having enough). Which edition?

A beloved film is released on DVD and you quite naturally and happily buy it. Yippee! There it is on your shelf snuggling with your other DVDs, ready to be pulled out and viewed at your leisure. End of that story, right? Not so fast.

A year or two later another edition of the DVD is released. The director's cut. For a few buck more than the original cost you, get the fully realized vision of the director. All three hours of this masterpiece! How can you resist having even more of a film you love? You buy it and rid yourself of that tawdry original, it's old news. Happy days, you've got the brand spanking new version.

Your new edition lives happily with all our other DVDs, gladly welcomed to the shelf. But what's this? It's not much longer before yet another edition is released. A SPECIAL edition. On two discs! This one is replete with special additions. Not just deleted scenes and the making of featurette, it has both versions of the film with various commentaries available, a documentary on the film's impact, interviews with the surviving stars of the film and a bunch of talking heads dissecting every bit of minutiae about the this beloved film. Well as a devotee of this great piece of cinema you can't possibly not have this edition, can you? Oh its pricey, but look at all those extras that will further enhance your love affair with said movie. You. Must. Buy. It. NOW!

There you go. You've the final word on the film. You've shelled out for three different editions, every time they've upped the ante, you've reached for the Visa card. What a loyal fan you are.

That's that, then, eh?

In your dreams, pal.

Yes, here it comes the Deluxe 25th Anniversary edition. Everything from previous editions AND MORE. A booklet with original artwork by Kate Gabrielle and a new digital transfer. The film has not looked better since it opened in theaters. Come on. You gonna keep watching the shoddy old version of this movie you supposedly love? No way! You've got to have the remastered edition. In fact one of the bonus features is comparisons between that old dingy version and the new one plus there's a documentary on the pain staking process that was required to effect this transfer. How cool is that?

In for a penny in for a pound. You know you want to. You HAVE to.

Let's not even get into how much you've spent on four different editions of the movie. Each increasingly more expensive (couldn't be any other way). That's not even in the conversation for a film lover such as yourself.

Regrets? of course not. You're a film buff. You have to have the best.

But when the Ultimate Collector's edition comes out, maybe then you better draw the line. (The again, maybe not.)