Exclusive Streams of Unconsciousness Interview with Penelope Cruz

Recently I had the opportunity to interview actress Penelope Cruz for Streams of Unconsciousness. The Spanish born Ms. Cruz featured in two summer 2008 films, Elegy and Woody Allen’s Vicky Christina Barcelona. In 2007 she was nominated for a Best Actress Oscar for Volver.

S: Thank you so much for taking time out from your busy schedule to speak with me.
PC: It is my honor. I consider your film blog to be the finest I have ever read.
S: That’s very kind of you.
PC: I am not alone in this opinion. Millions in Spain share this view. You are one of the greatest living American writers.
S: I’m very flattered, thank you. What was it like working with Woody Allen?
PC: It was a great experience but nothing like the experience of meeting you. This is the greatest day of my life.
S: Thank you. You’ve also worked with director Pedro Almodovar....
PC: He is gay. You are not?
S: No. Um, how would you compare his directing style with Woody’s?
PC: They are very different just as being here with you is different and better than anything I could imagine.
S: That’s kind of you.
PC: Are you married?
S: Yes.
PC: I hate this bitch! Do you cheat on her?
S: No, I’m a faithful husband.
PC: Then you will excuse me, I must go kill myself.
S: Please don’t I’m not worth it.
PC: You are worth life itself!
S: Ms. Cruz you...
PC: Call me Penelope.
S: Penelope, you are young, talented and beautiful, you have everything to live for.
PC: These things you describe are nothing compared to being with you. Therefore if I cannot have you what is the point of living?
S: I'd like to help but...
PC: I will now disrobe.
S: Ya know, maybe I can check with my wife on this whole faithful thing. She might not consider it such a hard and fast rule.
PC: Remind her that rules were made to be broken. I will pay her to be with you for just one night.
S: Please Penelope you’re making me feel cheap.
PC: You don’t know what I am willing to pay.
S: Yeah, ya know cheap is such a relative term and with the dollar being what is today...
PC: I will pay in Euros!
S: You had me at disrobe.

Details regarding the aftermath of the interview cannot be related at this time due to on going litigation. Streams again thanks Penelope Cruz for...uh, “her time.”

This post is dedicated to my wife whose many attributes include a wonderful sense of humor and a kind and forgiving nature.