The Good Ole Days of Subbing, Boy Did They Suck

For two years after I left my position as a middle school teacher and worked on my TEFL (Teacher of English as a Foreign Language) certificate, I toiled as a substitute teacher in the Oakland Unified School District (there’s actually very little that is unified about the district). It was an experience I’ll never forget — damn it! There were highs, lows, real lows, very deep lows and super deep lows.

Subbing is not the worst job in the world (one assumes). There are no papers to grade at the end of a long teaching day and no lesson plans to concoct. There are no meetings to attend and no parent conferences to endure. When your day is done you can get on with the rest of your life.

Some schools euphemistically call you a “guest teacher.” Some schools treat you as if you are a savior merely for showing up (trust me, you are). Some schools treat you like you have emerged from the primordial ooze. Some secretaries and administrators who greet you are officious, some are friendly some are so confused by all the vagaries of their job and the whirlwind of activity going on about them that they can barely bother to acknowledge you.

You show up, are shown to your room, then you read your lesson plan, which is usually left on a desk. Some are incredibly detailed, some leave much to interpretation and some allow you to wing it bit. The oddest I saw was a note on a TV screen that was merely an arrow pointing to a VCR tape (anyone out there old enough to remember those?). Brevity is the soul of wit.

Then you gird yourself for the first class. You might be awaiting anything from a rowdy, ill-mannered group of sixth graders to a solemn and serious class of seniors in a calculus class. 

Some of the days that are not horrible are deathly boring. Take that calculus class. Your job for the day may well consist of passing out worksheets, taking role then praying to god that no one asks you a question because you don’t understand calculus any better than you do Sanskrit. Usually they don't. They dutifully fill in their work as you surreptitiously do the crossword puzzle.

Some of the days that are not boring can be fun. You can have groups of students who you’ve seen before so you know each other and they like you and vise versa. These are rare.

Some days are mellow like when you do high school P.E. You take roll then toss out a bag of basketballs and sit back. Or a high school computer class where you walk around every ten minutes pretending to care if they’re on task or not and otherwise sit at a computer yourself where you write, or surf the internet or play hearts. I had a three-day assignment like that once at a high school. Easy money.

But then are days where there is absolute bedlam. Students are rude, obnoxious, threatening and destructive. If it’s a good school you can call down to the office and someone will be there lickety-split and offenders will be summarily dealt with. If it's a bad school then you hold your tongue and temper as best as possible.

If I had a bad day owing to lack of institutional support the solution was simple, I never took a job at that school again. In my time in Oakland I crossed over half a dozen schools off my list.

One of the best regular gigs I had was at one of Oakland’s two continuation high schools. That’s where the really baaaad kids go. The ones who are no longer welcome at “regular” high schools. However as was explained me to me, such students are loathe to cause real mayhem because they have parole officers and any offense on their part will result in a return to the hoosegow. I would get tested by students who didn’t know me. A particularly tall large lad would stand next to, lean into me a bit and “mean mug me.” I never flinched and would eventually say something like, “why don’t you have seat?” Once they knew I couldn’t be intimated I had their respect. I was served well by a calmness that I brought to the job that many subs are incapable of. I used measured tones, didn’t get excited and didn’t demand this or that, only insisting upon a modicum of decorum and respect for one another’s person and property.

At the continuation school less than half of students on the attendance sheet would ever show up. Mostly they sat around and chatted (a few did their work!) often about crimes they’d committed or their most recent high. Interesting.

I have a few specific memories from my subbing days that I think are worth sharing. 

• There was a school safety officer at one school who had a large belly and fondness for donuts. One morning before school he had been heard mentioning his preference for donuts with sprinkles on them. Later that day I called down to the office because of a ruckus in the classroom. The portly security officer entered the room and the students immediately started chanting “sprinkles!” He was clearly embarrassed and said, “you all are messed up.” He then turned around and left not having bothered with the problem in the classroom.
• I was subbing in a middle school computer class when one student refused to do his assignment. Worse he was playing a computer game that was making a lot of noise (at least be cool about it, dude). I hailed a passing safety officer who came in and talked to the lad for a few minutes. The officer eventually came to me and said, “he says he won’t do the work.” That, as they say, was that. The officer split.
• There was a student in one class who wouldn’t give his real name and worst of all was creating a disturbance. I called down to the office and a security officer took the lad outside for several minutes, brought him back to the room and said, “he won’t give you any more trouble.” Great, I thought. However a minute later he was indeed giving me “more trouble.” (Contrast this to the school I went to where I had a similar situation. That lad was taken away and I was later informed that he’d been sent home.)
• One of my worst days was at a high school. In the period before lunch it was absolute chaos with several students being particularly wild. Calls to the office went unanswered. However I rejoiced to see a vice principal passing by. I told him all that had happened and pointed out the offenders. Here was his response: “Leave a note for the teacher, she’s pretty good about following up.” With that he turned heel and fled the scene. I was left with mouth agape unable to believe that there would be no immediate help or consequences. It was a two-day assignment so at lunch I canceled the second day and never returned to that hell hole again.
• I was subbing at another high school and having a pretty good day in a history classroom when three of four people entered the room who I was pretty sure were not even students at the school (given their apparent age) let alone in the class. They immediately started a game of craps. Seriously. I politely asked them to desist but they chose to continue. So I stood in line of the flying dice and when they came my way put my foot on them and still politely, but also insistently, suggested they take their game elsewhere. There were a tense few moments during which they evidently weighed their options before deciding to seek greener pastures. I counted that as a huge victory.

Subbing in an inner city school district is not for the faint of heart. It takes patience, tolerance and having an outlet for your frustrations at the end of the day such as a quart of whiskey or in my case a gym membership and twelve step meetings. Anyway the pay was decent and it thus helped keep us afloat until I was ready to enter the infinitely calmer world of teaching foreigners the king’s English. What a pleasant change to be thanked by students when I hand them a piece of paper. I recall on some occasions as a sub trying to hand out papers and seeing students recoil, initially refuse to take it and ask “what’s this?” As if I was a process server. In my current position teaching days are a relative stroll around the park. Between my years as a middle school teacher and my time as a sub, I earned it.

Hey! Get Out of My Country, Ten Great Films Set in Europe During the Nazi Occupation

The Train

I recently noted that among my favorite films of all time are several that take place in Nazi-occupied Europe during World War II. It’s not altogether surprising as there are so many excellent films that have been made about the war starting from while it was being fought through today — some eighty years later. Nazis themselves are cinematic being ready-made villains that everyone (well, almost) can root against. Occupation by an invading force is always fodder for films. The tension, the fear, the utter outlandishness of it all are all in place. Bravery and resourcefulness will be called upon while collaborators will be ever present. Lives and the future of one's homeland are at stake. Most of the stories told are true (who needs to fictionalize such escapades?) or based on actual events. Here are my ten favorite such films.  They come from varying times with the first made in 1942 and the last in 2009. There are four French films and one each from Italy and Czechoslovakia. There are nine different directors and among them are some of filmdom's best. Three of the films are in my top 100, four others just outside of it and three more I much admire.

Army of Shadows (1969) Melville. The best and most realistic fictional cinematic look at the French resistance ever made. Grim, cold bleak days with brave men and women going about life or death tasks with all the verve of accountants. There are no romances, no dashing figures, it’s too real to play to the audience like that. Collaborators are dealt with coldly and efficiently, lives are of far less importance than the cause. It is both a difficult film to watch and utterly compelling. 

Le Silence de la Mer (1949) Melville.  This is more about the occupation of a single house as a French family must endure a German officer who is billeted in their bucolic home. The family is cold to the intruder who seems a decent sort (well, aside from being a Nazi). He is a former composer whose very essence seems at odds with the uniform he wears. It’s a fascinating look at another of the many costs of war.

The Train (1964) Frankenheimer. Burt Lancaster saves precious works of art from the Nazis. While there is action aplenty, this is many respects a somber film. Lancaster plays a resistance fighter who also happens to work for the railroad. He leads an effort to thwart Nazi plans to take some of France’s most precious works of art out of the country as the allies close in. Christopher Plummer and Jeanne Moreau co-star.

The Pianist (2002) Polanski. Adrien Brody gave an Oscar-winning performance as Władysław Szpilman, the great classical pianist who somehow survived Nazi occupation and the holocaust in the Warsaw ghetto. By turns depressing and inspiring, the Pianist drew some of its inspiration from director Roman Polanski’s own experiences in the ghetto.

Au Revoir Les Enfants (1987) Malle. For me one of the great films of all-time. Beautiful and heart-breaking. Julien is a tween student at a catholic boarding school who befriends a new student named Jean. Gradually Julien figures out that there is something different about his new friend, he’s a Jew. Indeed he is one of several hiding out in the school with the aid of the priest and headmaster. It’s a wonderful story of adolescent boys negotiating relationships; only in their case the Nazi occupiers form the backdrop to the story and ultimately bring it tragedy.

The Last Metro (1980) Truffaut. The story of a theater in the Montmartre section of Paris from early in the occupation through the end of the war. Catherine Deneuve and Gérard Depardieu star. The theater owner successfully defies the Nazis, fights censorship and shortages to maintain cultural integrity. The Last Metro was an awards season smash and deservedly so. As Vincent Canby of the New York Times wrote, “a dazzlingly subversive work.”

Inglorious Basterds

Inglorious Basterds (2009) Tarantino. Quentin Tarantino’s fantasy alternate history of Jewish-American commandos going behind enemy lines to wreak havoc among the enemy. “We in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin’” says their leader Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt). They ultimately go on a mission to kill the Nazi leadership — including Hitler — who are all in Paris. Shosanna Dreyfus owns the theater where they’ll be convening and as a Jew whose family was killed by the Nazis, she has similar inclinations. It's all makes for a magnificent movie. Christoph Waltz gives an iconic performance as the famed Jew hunter.

Closely Watched Trains (1966) Menzel. This is more the story of a young man coming of age as he embarks on a career in a cushy job as a train dispatcher. He also discovers love but finds the act of making love a challenge. Trains is perhaps the best known of the Czech New Wave. Nazis play a very small role in the film but as was the case in occupied Europe, their presence is constant and unpleasant backdrop to life. They end up being crucial to the denouement.

Rome: Open City (1945) Rossellini. The forerunner of the neorealism movement, Open City began filming only months after the Nazis fled Rome and as the war in Europe still raged. The war-ravaged streets of Rome provided the sets, which, along with the many non-actors appearing gives the film a documentary feel. This is a real, raw, heart-breaking look at the effect of Nazi occupation and the heroic individuals who defied it. Among the protagonists is the priest Don Pietro Pellegrini (played by comic actor Aldo Fabrizi in a masterstroke of casting) a real figure. His story is at the heart of Open City. The brilliant Anna Magnani also stars.

To Be or Not to Be (1942) Lubitsch. We close with lighter fare. The one comedy on the list and it’s an exceptional one. How can it miss under the direction of Ernst Lubitsch with Jack Benny and Carole Lombard starring? As one would expect there are laughs aplenty but they are somewhat muted by the reality of the setting being Nazi-occupied Warsaw. Benny and Lombard play a married couple who are part of an acting troupe. They use their dramatic skills to stymie Nazi efforts to root out the resistance movement. Amazing that it was made during the war.

Did You Just Google Me? Then Drop Me a Line (Contact Info In Post)

Did I look like this when you knew me?

Were you looking for me? Is this someone who decided to google me (I like to be googled but then I've always been  into kinky stuff) and in so doing came across my blog? Well here I am. And who pray tell are you? A classmate from high school? Not as far back as junior high (Garfield) or elementary school (Jefferson). If you go back that far it may interest you to know that both schools have been re-named. The former has been King Middle School for many decades now (I suppose the full name is something like Dr. Martin Luther King Junior Middle School but everyone just calls it King). The latter is Ruth Acty Elementary named for the long-time Berkeley teacher who was the first teacher of color in the district. I had her as a teacher in junior high (hey! Maybe we were in her class together!).

Maybe instead of K-12 we went to college together. Maybe we were on the soccer team or for that matter we might have been teammates on one of the many teams I played on in my youth (when dinosaurs roamed the Earth). Maybe we were in college at the same time but had no classes together. We could have met in the dorm, for that matter you might be an old roommate. I had quite a few in my college and immediate post-college days. 

It would be really cool if we had been on the school newspaper together, the Wildcat. I was recently looking at some back issues on line. Those were great times. Or we could have been fellow co-founders of the Chico News & Review -- even better times.

Maybe we knew each other in Sacramento or Boston or during my European travels.

Say, you’re not an old girlfriend, are you? If so I regret to inform you that I have aged. After all it’s been many decades since we saw one another. I’m sorry if you’re one of the many women I unceremoniously dumped. I was a bit of a cad. Then again I got a raw deal from some of the women I dated too. It happened both ways for me — a lot.

Maybe we were classmates in my later iterations as a student. Maybe we worked together somewhere, Sacto, Boston, San Francisco or Berkeley. Goodness, we could have been teaching colleagues at Willard or EF.

You're not a relative, are you? If so then you absolutely MUST say, hi.

Were we friends? If so I sure hope that having now found me you drop me a line. Hell, if we weren’t friends let me hear from you. Email me: rikuhourula@gmail.com. I like blasts from the past, they help me bathe in the warm waters of nostalgia.

You might even be a former student. There are a lot of them out there. I love hearing from students. You don’t even have to tell me what a great influence I was on your life (though you certainly can).

I especially want to hear from a few people: Ed Burns (the great goalkeeper from Richmond), Carnell Broom (aka Wilford), Keith Bray (we got in touch for a bit awhile ago but then you never returned my calls). Owen Plant, how’s the kid? Becky Tallon, we were pretty serious for a bit but you correctly saw that we weren’t ready, Karen Seccombe, I can’t find any contact info for you — my younger daughter is in your line of work. Jaime Bammert, my last roommate in Chico. Bob Speer, you’re a man I hold in high regard and think of frequently. Kevin Jeys, we did not part on good terms and I regret that. Jason Peltier, always thought highly of you and so glad you’ve done well. Jim Riley, a former roomie and co-worker who was a good dude. Cheryl Gilman, I regretted for a long time not taking advantage of the crush you had on me. Suzie Donnelly, I had a crush on you but you didn’t seem interested and then I met Kathryn….Susan Silvius, I wish I’d made more of our friendship. Debra Gologorsky, I cringe when I think of the letter I sent you from college. You were a terrific person. Mark Norman, we were best friends starting sometime around kindergarten but I haven’t talked to you since 1981. Judy Nakaso, we had classes together from K through 12, you’re the only person I can say that about. Paul McCartney, we were in a band together for awhile in the Sixties (I may be making this one up). 

It would be a shame if you saw this and didn’t at least email a quick hello. The old cliche is that we’re none of us getting any younger. I’ve had several friends, acquaintances, co-workers and kin say the long goodbye in recent years. Some of whom I wish I’d contacted before they shuffled off this mortal coil.

As you can see from having googled me (tickles a bit). I’ve self-published a couple of novels, the latter has done quite well. I’m close to finishing my third and hope to find a publisher other than self for it. I’ve been a teacher of one kind or another for almost 37 years. I’m active in the local Finnish Heritage Society. Been happily married to the same woman for 36 years (if we make it another two weeks). I can tell you more if I hear from you.

So you were curious and found me, take the next step. Let’s go!!!

The Author Expounds on Various Topics Ranging from Guns to Music to Theaters...AND MORE!!!

Margot Robbie

Global warming. First of all, I’m against it. But seriously folks, there has been nothing as bad during my lifetime. I don’t believe that it threatens the planet, the planet will be fine, what it threatens is life on this planet — to date the only habitable one in the known universe. This includes animals and humans alike. Yet people are so damn dumb that many don’t believe in “it” as if climate change were some far out theory proposed by a single benighted scientist. Most troubling is that it’s already here. For so long it was a distant threat, now it’s with us and there are legitimate fears that not enough can be done to keep it from worsening. It’s hard to even read it about anymore so depressing is most of what’s written.

Music today. In the locker room of my gym members are provided with piped in music (not that we asked for it). It is all clearly new…Rock? Pop? What the hell do you even call it, anymore? By any other name it sounds as sour. It is all so bland, generic and uninteresting. I grew up with The Beatles, The Doors, The Who, Hendrix, Joplin, Neil Young, the Beach Boys, Marvin Gaye, Smokey Robinson, Buffalo Springfield etc. Talk about spoiled. But I wonder why there isn’t even a tenth as much good music today as there was in the Sixties and Seventies. There are no interesting voices. Male singers are high pitched and flat. Female singers have weak voices. The instrumentals are uninteresting. The angry dirge of rap is a sad comparison to the great days of the Motown Sound. Thankfully I have an extensive CD collection.

Gun nuts. From a CNN story on republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley’s recent town hall: “Haley for the first time on the trail came out against gun restrictions known as “red flag” laws, which allow officials to temporarily take away firearms from people determined by a judge to be a threat to themselves or others. The laws, which have become popular in Democratic-run states, have angered many Republicans and gun rights advocates. ‘I don’t trust the government to deal with red flag laws. I don’t trust that they won’t take them away from people who rightfully deserve to have them,’ Haley said. ‘Because you’ve got someone else judging whether someone else should have a gun or not.’” Maybe it’s simply a matter of playing to her base who evidently prioritize guns over human lives, but my goodness, coming out against red flag laws shows complete servitude to the gun lobby. These people have no conscience and don’t really care how many children are slaughtered by guns. Also we have the continuing theme of not trusting the government which was popularized by the odious Ronald Reagan. It’s a great way for public servants to abdicate responsibility and in many cases put power in the hands of their corporate overlords. So much for the notion of government by the people of the people and for the people.

What ever happened to going to the movies? As recently as three years ago there were three movie theaters in downtown Berkeley, all with multiple screens. There could be as many as a dozen different films playing at a time. Now there are zero downtown theaters with a combined total of zero screens that can show as many as zero films on any given day. There is only one theater within Berkeley’s city limits. Thirty years ago there were eight. There are two theaters that are not far, one in neighboring Albany the other in Oakland near the city limits. I recently noted that neither of these theaters are showing matinees — not even on weekends! In other words it used to be nothing to find and go to a movie any day of the week. Now it’s a miracle to be able to make it to a movie. Streaming is wonderful, convenient and provides endless choices, but I really miss the thrill of seeing a newly released film in a theater. (I believe they were referred to the good ole days.)

Anti-war films. Watched a film called Pork Chop Hill (1959) Millstone yesterday. It has rightly been called a powerful anti-war film. Here’s something I’ve noticed: virtually everywhere anti-war film I’ve ever seen can also be interpreted as pro-war and virtually every patriotic “pro-war” film I’ve ever seen can also be interpreted as anti-war. The mere depiction of battle at once shows its horrors and stupidity and also glorifies it. Every demanding non-compromising officer is an example of steely determination and dedication to the cause and an example of barbarity and callousness. Every dying soldier is an example of heroism and of the horrible cost of war. Pork Chop Hill made war look like a pretty stupid proposition to me but then again so did Saving Private Ryan and that’s as pro-war a film as you’ll ever see.

Phones. Haven’t gone on this tirade in awhile: try working out without your phone. It can be done, indeed I do it all the time. The benefits of not having your phone with you include not being distracted by it and thus better focusing on your purpose in being at the gym (one assumes you go to the gym for exercise) and not annoying people by talking into the damn thing. I noticed someone looking at their phone for at least five minutes before resuming exercise — two minutes worth — then resuming his romance with said phone. Not unusual.

Margot Robbie. This bit is just so I have an excuse to put a picture of the lovely actress atop this post. In truth I think she’s an excellent actress and has graced several excellent movies including Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, I, Tonya and Babylon. We’ll see how this whole Barbie thing works out.