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| Carole Lombard and William Powell in My Man Godfrey |
I’ve been watching even more films than usual lately. (You can guess why, I’m not going to mention the current global crisis in this post). Many of them from the 1930s and ‘40s, two decades that produced a lot more good cinema than the most recent two. There is something comforting about watching old films, particularly those that feature beloved stars like Edward G. Robinson, William Powell, Barbara Stanwyck, Fred Astaire, Carole Lombard, Bette Davis and I could go on and on. It’s also nice to see many of the ubiquitous supporting players of bygone days who made multiple appearances a year. If you’re a fan of Hollywood’s Golden Age you’ll recognize the faces if not the names of many of them. I make reference to the likes of Allen Jenkins, Ruth Donelley, Franklin Pangborn, Eric Blore, Una O’Connor, Beulah Bondi, Charles Lane, C. Aubrey Smith, John Qualen, Jane Darwell, William Demarest and again I could go on and on.
Films from the first half of the 20th century were strong on character and rarely bothered with dazzling special effects. The scripts were strong and the direction solid if generally unspectacular. They were — once the production code started being enforced — sanitized without a hint of profanity, only thinly-veiled reference to sex, not a bit of nudity and ridiculously sterilized violence (somehow people back then did not bleed when shot). Many, many topics were strictly verboten such as homosexuality, abortion and prostitution.
On the other hand many of the comedies were actually funny, indeed the thirties and early forties were the golden age of the screwball comedy and prior to that you had the Marx Brothers, still unparalleled in the world of cinematic comedy.
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| Our Daily Bread (1934) |
A lot of films took on the monied class, government corruption and big business. Indeed many of the great films of the era had not-so-subtle leftist messages, even some made by that staunch Republican Frank Capra. Namely
Meet John Doe (1941) and
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939). Other progressive-minded films included
His Girl Friday (1940) (which, in addition to being a great comedy that poked at politicians and the death penalty, also took on newspaper reporters),
Holiday (1938), Our Daily Bread, (1934) The Male Animal (1942),
Talk of the Town (1942), Heroes for Sale (1933) and
Modern Times (1936).
So I have very much enjoying many of these films some of which I’ve watched multiple times over the years. However with this saturation of films there have been some aspects of movies in general and older ones in particular that have become annoying. Meaning specifically elements of films that you never or rarely see in, let’s call it, real life. Here are but a few examples.
”Hello, police department?” It’s how every phone call to the police in every movie always starts. Because, of course, the police answer the phone by merely saying, “hello.” It goes for any other kind of establishment that is telephoned. “Hello, Bill’s Grocery?” Yes, Bill’s would never answer the phone with,“hello this is Bill’s Grocery, how can I help you?” Also, no one ever has to look up a phone number, all movie character’s have memorized the phone book.
Movie phone calls often share another characteristic. The caller keeps repeating what the other person says. “You say he’s not there? He left an hour ago? He didn’t say where he’s going?”
Don’t you always repeat everything the other person says to you during a call? If not, try it some time.
In movies, suitcases are as light as a feather, unless there’s a gag about how heavy the suitcase is. Also, people will pack up for a long trip or take all their worldly possessions and somehow cram them into one normal sized suitcase. Unless there’s a gag about an excess of luggage.
People often do not finish meals, their coffee or their drinks in movies. They are favor abandoning their food, usually after a bite or two. Also a breakfast often consists of one egg. One. And maybe some toast. Yet characters in movies are far more likely to claim not to be hungry than people in real life.
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| Franklin Pangborn |
Also, people will spring out of bed, get dressed and head out the door. Film characters never have to heed mother nature’s call.
Arrangements for meetings and dates are made absent key details. “Let's meet tonight,” says one person. “Fine,” says the other. But when? Where? Would it kill them to say, “how about 7:00? I’ll come by your place.”
Some plot contrivances are utterly ridiculous and predicated on people being total idiots. I just the other day watched the famous Fred Astaire-Ginger Rogers movie,
Top Hat (1935). The whole plot centers around Ginger believing that Fred is his married friend. A problem that could have been avoided if Fred had bothered to introduce himself to this woman with whom he’d fallen in love. Now seriously, who doesn’t exchange names with a person they’ve just met and have a massive crush on? No one. But these two characters spend several reels of the film together without the idiot having said his name. Ludicrous. (But the dance numbers are sublime, so there’s that.)
A lot of movie plots center around misunderstandings and cases of mistaken identity that strain credulity. Audiences go along with it for the sake of the laughs or songs or dances that accompany a plot so thin or strained a baby could crack it.
Top Hat is just one of many dozens of films in which a woman is literally seconds away from marrying someone other than the man she is really in love with. Movie characters are cavalier about who they’ll marry and will swap potential spouses like they would dance parties. Being saved from marrying some dud has featured in any number of Hollywood classics such as:
It Happened One Night (1934),
His Girl Friday (1940),
The Philadelphia Story (1940), The Awful Truth (1937),
Christmas in Connecticut 1945),
Carefree (1938), and the list goes on. In three of the films I've just mentioned a woman was saved from marrying Ralph Bellamy (poor guy never caught a break) and in three of these movies Cary Grant wins the dame at the last second.
Love at first sight is a staple of old movies which do not have time for courtships. Astaire, for example, need only lay eyes on Ginger, exchange a few words and declare to a friend that he is going to marry her. At the end of the film he invariably did.
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| Cary Grant and Ralph Bellamy |
Another staple of films is when a character has big news — often bad, sometimes a confession of real identity — to give their co-star BUT said co-star also has big news. Person one insists, “you go first,” this revelation always either makes character A have to rethink sharing his news or it has been contradicted.
Characters also have amazing luck with cabs. Of course it would kill the pacing of a film to have someone standing around waiting for one.
When our hero steals clothes in order to escape pursuers (often this involves conking some poor sap on the head and stripping him) the clothes fit as if they were tailored for him. And speaking of conks on the head, they are frequently used to knock someone out. Sometimes a punch in the jaw will suffice. If our hero is knocked out he comes to with a momentary aching head -- never a concussion or lump -- and carries on undaunted. People who die in movies do so painlessly. Out of breath to be sure, struggling a little, but able to utter last words.
If a villain is arrested in a movie he generally offers a full confession on the spot. He often seems sanguine about the whole thing and has gone from trying to fool and flee ihs pursuers to giving every last detail of his nefarious deeds. (This has also been a staple of TV crime dramas.)
If there is a gun battle every gun has infinity bullets and bad guys have terrible aim, although they may wing our hero, who will fight on nonetheless -- again, sans blood.
You've likely noted (the author flatters himself that someone has read this far) that many of these cliches have continued in films made throughout the 20th and even into the 21st century. To me the later a film was made the more egregious these repeated cliches become. They are more forgivable in older films where many were being trotted out for the first time. While they do occasionally annoy or distract from an old film, they never ruin it. One accepts certain things as necessities. After all who wants to see the hero shot because the bad guy is an expert marksmen? Who wants to guess at what the party at the other end of a phone call is saying? And who wants to see a character being portrayed by a beautiful actress marry Ralph Bellamy when Cary Grant is available?
